Truth or Dare: FullMetal Alchemist
by Mon Petit Pierrot
Summary: Question dare fic. Involves the characters driven mad by insanity, crazy dares and truths, and the high on sugar authoress. Read at your own risk. ANY AND ALL DARES ACCEPTED. You have been warned. This is still silver candle, under a different name.
1. Intro

Sky: Hello again. This is my attempt at trying to write a question and answer fic. Please send me your questions, and dares are also accepted! Also, please note that all questions/ dares are NOT to be over T rated

Ed: What?! Are you serious?!

Al: I can't wait!

Roy: -smirk- I will do any dare that anyone asks me to

Riza: -rolls eyes- And I will have to be there to keep you out of trouble, won't I?

Winry: -sparkles in eyes- Will there be automail involved?!

Gluttony: Will there be food?

Envy: Can I kill Hohenheim?! Please?!

Sky: Um, no, Envy...you can't

Envy: -glares-

Sky: O-kay, then. Again, please send me a few questions. See you next chapter!


	2. Chapter 1

A/N: Welcome to the second chapter of Truth Or Dare: FullMetal Alchemist! The character's answers will be in **bold**

* * *

To Envy

Do you use a lot of hair gel? I dare you to stop using it for a day!

Zexy's Girl

**Envy: NO I DO NOT USE A LOT OF HAIR GEL! I DON'T EVEN USE HAIR GEL!**

**Lust: Then how does your hair keep its shape?**

**Envy: …Um, because, it's like that, okay?**

**Wrath: Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure, Envy, keep telling yourself that**

**Envy: Shut the hell up, brat**

**Sloth: You haven't answered the question yet**

**Envy: Yes I have, dammit! **

**Ed: Are you going to accept your dare?**

**Envy: -glares- Fine, I'll do it**

**-24 hours later-**

**Envy: -looks in mirror- CRAP! NOW I LOOK LIKE AN OLD GEEZER! NOOOOOOOOOOO!**

**Wrath: But you are an old geezer…**

**Envy: SHUT UP!**

lol yay hmnow a dare this is to riza: i dare you to go a week without your guns

OTP

**Riza: -blinks- I guess I can try…**

**-throughout the day-**

**Riza: Dammit, I wish I had my gun so I could shoot the baka taisa's ass off…**

**-at end of day-**

**Riza: -cradles guns close-**

**Roy: -stupid grin- Did you miss them as much as you missed me, chuui?**

**Riza: -glares- -points gun threateningly at him- I'll give you a ten second head start, sir**

**Roy: -runs like hell-**

I have only one question at the moment...

Ed: Why the f( do people think you and Winry are 'an item' when she hits you

with a wrench ALL THE TIME?!

Fullmetal LVR

**Ed: -blush- 'An item'? Oh god… **

**Winry: -blush-**

**Al: -grins- She hits him with a wrench all the time to show her affection… and because he always breaks her automail…**

**Ed/ Winry: -glare/ blushing- I DON'T LIKE HIM/ HER THAT WAY!**

**Pinako: Are you sure about that?**

**Ed/ Winry: -nod frantically-**

**Al: -grins evilly- Are you REALLY sure?**

**Ed/ Winry: -chase after him yelling death threats-**

Roy, I dare you to kiss Ed; Ed, I dare you to kiss Roy.

SteelRose Alchemist

**Ed: WHAT THE HELL?!**

**Roy: …**

**Ed: THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME KISS THAT BASTARD COLONEL!**

**Roy: -seductive smirk- How so…shrimp?**

**Ed: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE CAN BE MISTAKEN AS A FIRST GRADER?!**

**Roy: -smirk- I never said such a thing.**

**Ed: -growls- You were thinking it**

**Sky: Do the damn dare already! Geez! –gets video camera ready-**

**Ed/ Roy: -blush- -kiss-**

**Sky: -squeals- Yay! You kissed! Do you have any idea how well you two click together?!**

**Ed/ Roy: -making out-**

**Al: O.O B-brother…?**

**Winry: …Just leave them Al**

**Al: -stares mesmerized at them-**

**Winry: AL!**

**Al: -looks at her- -blush- Y-yes?**

**Winry: -shakes head- What's the next question?**

i dare ed to kick roy in the nuts and have him scream like a little girl.

Bwhhahahahahahahah

demi sayain

**Winry: Hey! ED! Next question is for you!**

**Ed: -pushes Roy away- -reads question- -evil smirk-**

**Al: Uh oh –hides-**

**Ed: Oh, I'm gonna enjoy this one…**

**Roy: …**

**Ed: -kicks Roy in the nuts- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**Roy: You're evil**

**Ed: You still have the second part to do**

**Roy: Do I have to?**

**Riza: -points gun at him-**

**Roy: Eeep! **

**Ed: Go on! Scream like the girl you are! WAHAHAHAHA!!**

**Roy: -screams like a little girl- -crying-**

* * *

A/N: That's all the questions/ dares! I hope I answered them the way you wanted! Please send more! Thanks!


	3. Chapter 2

A/N: Welcome back to Truth Or Dare: FullMetal Alchemist! Enjoy

Ed I dare you to kiss Winry and ask her out on a date. Roy you do the same with Riza.

Ed loves Winry

**Ed: -blush-**

**Winry: -sparkles in eyes- Oooh, Edo, I didn't know that you liked me that way!**

**Ed: …I don't**

**Winry: WHAT?!**

**Al: You're supposed to ask her out, nii-san, remember?**

**Ed: Do I have to?**

**Riza: -points gun at him-**

**Ed: -pales- F-fine. H-hey, Win, a-are you doing anything this Saturday?**

**Winry: -smiles innocently- Nope. Why?**

**Ed: Um, cause, I, um, d-do you want to go on a date with me?**

**Winry: -squeals- Yes! Of course!**

**Ed: You know you're not making this any easier…**

**Sky: Now it's your turn, Roy**

**Roy: -whines- Do I have to?**

**Riza: -glares-**

**Roy: Eeep!**

**Ed: Come **_**on**_**, already! If I had to do it, then you have to do it too!**

**Roy: …Um, lieutenant…Riza…w-would you like to go on a date with me?**

**Riza: -blushes- Y-yes, of course, sir**

Hey Ed, I dare you to make out with Al, Al I dare you to make out with Ed. Jajajajaja, yes, I'm evil and I loved Elricest. XDD

Winry: Screw you, bitch! Cof, cof. Why can't you accept that Ed loves Rose and Noa?! Yeah, he blushed with Rose and almost kissed Noa. DEAL WITH IT!

Noa: Why didn't you kissed Ed when you have the chance?! WHY?!

Roy: Who were you waiting for in CoS? It was Ed, right? Cuz your expression change when you see him! Do you really love him? OMG, I can't believe that I said that!

Hugs for all of you ('cept for Winry, I HATE YOU!)

Kaname Elric

**Al: O.O W-what?**

**Ed: …**

**Sky: I like Elricest too!**

**Ed: Traitor!**

**Sky: -grin- I know. I'm considering writing one…but I need an idea…**

**Ed: NO!**

**Sky: -looks at him- Now, you better kiss Al…or else**

**Ed: -pales- -kisses Al-**

**Sky: -squeals- -runs around taking pictures-**

**Winry: …Okay then. Next question. –reads it- Eeeh? How am I a bitch? And who's Rose and Noah?! And you were **_**blushing**_**?! AND **_**KISSING**_**?! JUST WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING WHILE YOU WERE ON YOUR MISSIONS?!**

**Ed: -still making out with Al and doesn't answer-**

**Sky: I don't like you either…'cause you're such a crybaby. Anyway! Next answer!**

**Noah: Um, well, I admit I had a small crush on him but I saw that his heart belonged to someone else. And I sometimes wish I did kiss him**

**Roy: -smirk- Of course I was waiting for Edward. I guess my expression changed because I was happy to see him back home. Do I love him? I suppose. He's hard to NOT love**

**All: Thank you**

**Winry: Why do you hate me?!**

I dare roy to kiss riza oh and you cant shoot him riza you just have to deal with it

Roxie-san

**Roy: …Again with the kissing**

**Ed: -breaks away from kissing Al and grins evilly- I HAVE to see this**

**Riza: -blushes- No guns?**

**Sky: Nope**

**Riza: ...Damn**

**Roy: -kisses her-**

**Ed: -laughs evilly while taking pictures for blackmail-**

**Al: …**

OMIGOD THEY KISSED! squeals

Ahem… Edo, you're in love with Mustang-Taisa, aren't yoy?

SteelRose Alchemist

**Ed: … -blushes-**

**Roy: -smirks- I love you**

**Ed: -blush darkens-**

**Al: -evil grin- -sing-song- You liiiiiiiike him**

**Ed: Al!**

**Al: You loooooooove him**

**Ed: Alphonse!**

**Al: You want him to have your babies**

**Ed: ALPHONSE ELRIC! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT!**

**Al: -smirk-**

**Roy: -tear/ sniff- You don't like me?**

**Ed: -blush- Yes—no—I mean—GAH! I don't know!**

A/N: Well, we'll find out next chapter. Please be sure to leave some questions and/or dares! Thanks!


	4. Chapter 3

_A/N: Yay, I'm so happy! I got six reviews this time! Hope you enjoy!_

Edward:

I dare you to...run around and say that you're the smallest alchemist in the wide-world of Amestris!

Alphonse: -.- Can you scare away the dog that keeps chasing my kitty-cat?

Winry: -cuddles- I like you. Don't worry. You rockeh. I like you and Ed together! MARRY HIM! -grabs spork-

Riza: I dare you to call the Colonel a sexy beast and make out with him XP.

Fuery: Ask Riza out. You two are a good couple.

Havoc: I dare you to kiss Roy.

Breda: -grins evilly- I dare you to...cuddle with Black Hayate. -evil grin widens-

Scar: I dare you to make out with...uh...uh...Lust!

Envy: I dare you to climb in Gluttony's mouth. -laughs in a cruel way-

Onna-san

**Ed: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLIN' SO SMALL THAT YOU CAN CRUSH HIM LIKE AN ANT?!**

**Roy: Your words, Edward. Not anyone else's.**

**Ed: -growls-**

**Winry: Do your dare already! –gets video camera ready-**

**Ed: -glares at her and stomps out of the room- **

**-outside-**

**Ed: …Remind me again why the hell I have to do this again?**

**Sky: Do it or I'll get Roy to force-feed you milk**

**Ed: -gags- NO THE ACCURSED MILK! OH THE HORROR! KEEP IT AWAY FROM ME!**

**Sky: Do it and I won't, all right?**

**Ed: …Fine. –takes a deep breath and starts running around as if he's suddenly on a sugar rush- HEY LOOK AT ME! I'M EDWARD ELRIC, AND I ADMIT THAT I'M THE SMALLEST ALCHEMIST IN AMESTRIS! I'M THE PINT-SIZED, BEAN-SPROUT MIDGET OF THE MILITARY! WH00T! –laughs crazily-**

**Sky: …**

**Al: This is going to haunt me for the rest of my life… -looks depressed-**

**Winry: -having caught all the action on camera- Okay, next question! Hey, Al, it's for you!**

**Al: -looks up and reads question- -his eyes widen- WHAT?! How could that meanie scare a harmless kitty?! Where are you?! –waves pitchfork-**

**Winry: …Am I the only one who's actually sane around here? Just wondering. –looks at next question and smiles happily- Yay, I actually have a fan! Wh00t! And yes, I will marry Edward even if it kills me! –laughs evilly-**

**Roy: -glances at her warily and backs away slowly-**

**Riza: -reads next question- You want me to call the baka taisa that? May I ask why?**

**Havoc: Do it do it do it do it! Don't ask questions! If you do, won't silver candle hunt you down and kill you?**

**Riza: …Eh, no, Second Lieutenant. Wherever did you here that?**

**Havoc: The colonel.**

**Riza: -glances at Roy, who pales considerably and gulps nervously- And why did you say that?**

**Roy: Because she said that she was going to make me force-feed Ed milk if he didn't do his dare!**

**Riza: …O-kay, then. I will do my dare unlike you ladies. –clears throat- As it says, I have to call you something that under normal circumstances I wouldn't. –walks towards him and wraps arms around his neck- Hey, sexy beast. –smirks and kisses a shocked Roy-**

**Winry: That is so wrong…on so many levels…**

**Havoc: Tell me about it.**

**Fuery: What's the next question? –reads it- W-what?! B-but I…I could never…the lieutenant wouldn't want to—**

**Breda: You should do it before silver candle threatens you.**

**Sky: Oh, I would never threaten him.**

**Havoc: Why does _he_ get special treatment?!**

**Sky: 'Cause he's cuter than you. Now, Fuery, you should do your dare before Riza shoots everyone she sees because of her dare.**

**Fuery: -gulps and walks over to Riza who has detached herself from Roy- Um, lieutenant?**

**Riza: Yes?**

**Fuery: -blushes- Um, w-well, my dare says that I…um…w-will you go out with me?**

**Riza: -smiles- I guess so.**

**Fuery: -blush darkens-**

**Hughes: Next question! And how come I haven't gotten any questions yet?!**

**Envy: Um, because you're dead? Killed by me! HAHA!**

**Hughes: Can't say I know what you're talking about! See, I'm alive and well! Hey, have you seen this picture of Elicia-chan yet?!**

**Roy: -sighs-**

**Havoc: Um, colonel, sir, the next question says that I should kiss you…**

**Roy: …**

**Havoc: Really. I'm not joking.**

**Roy: …Fine. –kisses him-**

**Breda: -runs away from Black Hayate who is chasing him playfully- GET THAT FILTHY MUTT AWAY FROM ME! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!**

**Riza: I don't think he'll be doing that dare anytime soon. –is holding hands with Fuery-**

**All: -nods-**

**Lust: Should I really kiss that Ishbalan?**

**Scar: If my god says so, then you must.**

**Lust: What god?**

**Scar: -glares-**

**Hughes: Do it do it do it do it do it do—**

**Lust/ Scar: -blush- SHUT UP! –look at each other and kiss-**

**Envy: Do I really have to do this? –glances reproachfully at Gluttony who is grinning at him- -shudders-**

**Sky: Yes, you do.**

**Envy: …This is going to give me nightmares, I guarantee it. –climbs into Gluttony's mouth- EEEEEW! GLUTTONY DO YOU EVER (censored) BRUSH YOUR (censored) TEETH?!**

can i submit a dare??

i dare Ed to let Al have as many kittys as he wants.

and Ed cant take them away ever!

Marshmellow alchemist

**Ed: There's no way in hell that I am—!**

**Sky: Ed…do it…or else… - grins evilly-**

**Ed: …F-fine. **

**Al: -looks at him pleadingly with his arms full of cats already-**

**Ed: Yeah, Al, you can keep them**

**Al: -squeals happily- **

Heh.. My last review in ''An interview with FMA'' came out incomplete, dunno why Oo. The whole thing was

''Ohh, Edo- you're so CUTE. Don't worry dearie, love is a natural thing. -nods- And now -evil grin- go wear a miniskirt in front of Mustang.''

XD BTW, you're doing a great work and I'm enjoying it to no end.

SteelRose Alchemist

**Ed: WHAT?! WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE WANTING ME AND ROY TO BE A COUPLE?!**

**Al: -eyes widening- Brother…did you just call him…Roy?**

**Ed: …**

**Al: -grins evilly- I think a miniskirt would look good on you, brother. And I'm sure that the colonel wouldn't mind…**

**Ed: Al, you're **_**not**_** helping!**

**Al: I know.**

**Ed: -blushes and changes into a miniskirt to show to Roy-**

**Al: -giggles quietly and takes a picture-**

This so funny!

I have dares for them!

To Ed: Wear a pink frilly dress and cat ears and tail. Then, try to seduce Roy! And don't kill me! . Or anyone else...

To Al: Dance like a ballerina. Wear a tutu too!

Hehehe... I'm evil... (Grins)

ps: do not kill me. Please?

girl-13

**Ed: THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THAT I'M WEARING A DRESS! AND HOW CAN YOU FIND THIS FUNNY?!**

**Al: You might not, but I definitely do.**

**Ed: -glares- What makes you think I won't kill you, girl-13? –dark voice-**

**Al: Brother, do **_**not**_** kill anyone.**

**Ed: Aw, you ruined my fun!**

**Sky: Do the dare!**

**Ed: Fine! –changes into the hideously pink dress and cat ears/tail- -goes off to show to Roy **_**again **_**and seduces him-**

**Al: -reads next question- Do I really have to?**

**Sky: Yes.**

**Al: -shrugs and takes tutu out of his closet and changes into it-**

**Sky: …Um, Al, tell me _why_ exactly you have a tutu in your closet?**

**Al: Because mom liked it when I dressed up in a tutu when I was younger.**

**Sky: …? -shudders- Just do the dare already.**

**Al: -nods and grins enthusiastically- Okay! –starts to dance-**

**Sky: O.O…I'm emotionally scarred for life…**

A/N: That was fun! Please send some more questions! And also dares! Thanks for reading! See you next chapter!


	5. Chapter 4

_A/N: Hello again! I promised quicker updates and so I present the next chapter of Truth or Dare: FullMetal Alchemist! Enjoy!_

OI! -glomps Hughes- Sorry...XP

Hughes: There's this stalker guy, who was watching the ep. when Elicia was born that said she cries like a monkey. Can you stab him for me?

Edo-kun: Eh, I don't think you and Roy are exactly an item at the moment.

Havoc: Sorry I was on sugar high...XP

Riza&Fuery: Aw...

Alphonse: OMG, never mind. Guess what? My cat actually chased two dogs out of my yard. A Jack Russel and a Fox Terrier. Now the only problem is, well he do it to the puppy I'm getting?

Scar: ...I dare you...to kiss the next fangirl who happens upon you're path. Sadly not counting me..XP)

SilverCandle: Hm...actually, I would enjoy seeing this Edo-kun being force fed milk from Roy. Can you make this so please? -grabs camera and laughs evilly-

Onna-san

**Hughes: -glares murderously- Who said that my precious Elicia was crying like a monkey? –whips out his daggers and waves them threateningly-**

**Roy: Hughes, please do not kill anyone just because someone said your daughter was a monkey**

**Hughes: -glares at him- Are you calling her a monkey, Roy Mustang?**

**Roy: -blinks- Um, no, I never said—**

**Hughes: -howls- Yes you were! –throws dagger at Roy which misses and chases after him-**

**-screams of pain are heard in the background-**

**Sky: …Um, o-kay then…next question…**

**Ed: SEE WHAT DID I TELL YA?! I DO NOT LIKE ROY MUSTANG BECAUSE HE'S A BASTARD!**

**Al: You're in denial, aren't you?**

**Ed: NO I AM NOT!**

**Al: Sure Ed. Keep telling yourself that**

**Ed: -TT-**

**Havoc: So are you saying that you wanted me to kiss the colonel because you were high on sugar? That's just great. Another RoyxHavoc obsessed sugar-high fangirl… just what we all need**

**Fuery: -blushes- Um…thank you?**

**Riza: -smiles-**

**Al: HOORAY FOR THE KITTY! And if the puppy's not mean, then don't be mean back to him…or her. Yeah. GO KITTY! FIGHT!**

**Ed: …**

**Scar: …Must I?**

**Sky: Yes. Yes, you should. **

**Scar: -growls and goes outside, standing around bored-**

**Random Scar fangirl: -walks up to him- Hello Mr. Scar. I just read one of Across the Sky's stories and you have a dare for kissing a fangirl. Can you kiss me? –obvious Mary Sue-**

**Scar: -glares and kisses her- -then throws her against the wall and blows her apart using his arm- I will never do that again. You cannot make me.**

**Sky: -reads next question and grins evilly- Of course I will oblige. Oh, Edo-kun… -sing song voice-**

**Ed: -jumps and looks around fearfully- **

**Sky: Come here.**

**Ed: -walks towards her and places his hands on his hips- What do you want? Are you going to torture me again?**

**Sky: -grabs him and pushes him towards Roy who has mysteriously recovered from Hughes's attack- Here ya go, Roy! **

**Roy: Eh…what do I do with him?**

**Sky: Force-feed him milk, duh**

**Roy: -looks disgusted-**

**Ed: WHAT?! THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THAT I'M GOING TO ALLOW YOU TO POUR THAT GROSS OPAQUE LIQUID DOWN MY THROAT! DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE HORRORS OF MILK?!**

**Sky: -ignores him- You'd better do it…or else…**

**Roy: -looks apprehensive- Or else what?**

**Sky: You don't want to know**

**Roy: -pales and pours a gallon of milk down Ed's throat-**

**Sky: -is recording it for blackmail while grinning evilly-**

Greed-I dare you to make out with Alphons and ask him on a date

Envy-Why the hell do you hate Ed so much?

Winry-go jump off a cliff

Roy-Are you realted to Sasuke Uchiha, and I dare you to do the same with Ed

Ed- Are you related to Krad Hikari, Momigi Somma, or Joey Wheeler, they look a lot like you. If you are, I think you got Joey's share of the brains

Senectrix

**Greed: Who the hell is Alphons?**

**Al: He is my double from the other side of the gate**

**Greed: You're joking right?**

**Al: No. Why?**

**Greed: I was just wondering if you were sane. Still, who the hell is this Alphons person?!**

**Alphons: That's me**

**Greed: -jumps- Oh. Well. It seems that I must make out with you and ask you out**

**Alphons: -innocently- "Make out"? What's that?**

**Greed: Are you kidding me?**

**Alphons: No…**

**Greed: -sighs- Here, I'll show you. –kisses him- Now…would you like to be my boyfriend?**

**Alphons: -blushes- Um…sure…okay… -is still confused-**

**Envy: I HATE EDWARD ELRIC BECAUSE HE'S THE SON OF MY BASTARD FATHER AND THEY SHARE THE SAME BLOOD! WHY THE (CENSORED) DO YOU THINK I HATE HIM, HUH, YOU MORTAL?! I WANT TO KILL THEM BOTH AND THEN STAB THEM AND THEN SHOOT THEM AND THEN—**

**Sky: Envy, shut up. You don't want him to rant all day. Now…next question!**

**Winry: Eeeh? Why should I jump off a cliff? **

**Sky: Because no one likes you and you're better off dead**

**Winry: -starts crying- B-but—**

**Sky: GO JUMP OFF A CLIFF ALREADY AND DIE! YOU'LL BE DOING EVERYONE A FAVOR!**

**Winry: -walks to the edge of a cliff and jumps- -screams on the way down-**

**Sky: Sheesh. Okay, next question!**

**Roy: Um…who is this Sasuke Uchiha person? **

**Sky: Someone from another manga/anime**

**Roy: What's "manga"?**

**Sky: I'm not going to explain. Just answer the question!**

**Roy: Uh, well, if I don't know the person then I can't really say—**

**Sky: -dangles a picture in front of him-**

**Roy: -stares and starts to drool- Oooh, who is that sexy beast?**

**Sky: O.O…I'm starting to really question your sanity, Roy Mustang…**

**Ed: ROY! ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME?!**

**Roy: -blinks and realizes that he is there- H-huh? No I'm not! **

**Ed: YES YOU ARE! I CAN TELL! YOU'RE STRIPPING HIM AND RAPING HIM WITH YOUR EYES! OH I PITY THE PERSON YOU CHOOSE TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH BECAUSE IT'S OBVIOUS THAT YOU DON'T LIKE ME ANYMORE! –runs off crying-**

**Roy: No Ed! Come back! –runs after him-**

**Sky: …Well. That was weird...**

**Riza: Well, I will forget that I have just seen that and we will proceed to the next question…Edward?**

**Al: He ran off. I wonder why…?**

**Riza: …You don't want to know.**

**Al: …?**

**Riza: Will you fill in for your brother?**

**Al: -blinks- O-oh, sure! –reads question- Eh…who are these people? And how could they look like nii-san? And are you trying to say that nii-san's dumb?**

**Sky: They're from different mangas/animes, Al. And no, I am not going to explain…not after what happened with your brother and Roy… -shudders-**

**Al: -looks cutely confused-**

**Sky: And yes, now that you mention it they do look a little like Ed. **

**Al: …?**

**Sky: NO I AM NOT GOING TO EXPLAIN AGAIN OR I WILL TRAUMATIZED FOR LIFE!**

I love this story! Please make more:D

(I always feel so embarrassed to comment, for some reason...)

Okay... cracks knuckles

Envy - I dare you to turn into a cat and run up the nearest tree.

Ed - I dare you to run up the tree Envy went into and save him/her, and then date him/her. :3

Al - I dare you to marry Winry, Havoc, and the homunculus that is closest to you in the room. And then file a divorce five minutes later, and forget what happened. :)

Scar - I dare you to kiss Kimbly. laughs evilly

Author - I dare you to read the FMA manga (it separates from the anime around volume 7/8, during the "Greed Arc", but it's still different before then)!!

laughs evilly again

(... you don't have to though, it's just a suggestion...)

By the way, the one story that I've uploaded so far is a VERY BAD manga-based yaoi fic, and it's very lame, and you shouldn't read it, or you will surely die of it's lameness. And that would be bad. :(

Ruinedshadows

**Envy: And why should I turn into a cat?**

**Sky: Because the reader wants it and I want to see it, Envy. Welcome my fellow EnvyxEd fangirl! **

**Envy: …**

**Sky: Do it! NOW OR DIE!**

**Envy: -transforms into a cat and hides in a nearby tree shivering-**

**Ed: Do I have to rescue him? I would just love to leave him up there…**

**Sky: DO IT OR ELSE I WILL MAKE ROY FORCE-FEED YOU MILK AGAIN!**

**Ed: NO THE MILK! KEEP IT AWAY FROM ME! THE HORROR!**

**Sky: Then do it already!**

**Ed: -climbs up the tree and carries the Envy-cat back down- -stands back- Okay, Envy. I have to date you.**

**Envy: Fine.**

**Ed: …Why are you just agreeing?**

**Envy: -shrugs- Dunno.**

**Ed: …**

**Al: I have to marry three people at once? **

**Sky: Yes.**

**Al: -shrugs and asks Winry, Havoc, and Lust to marry him-**

**-five minutes later-**

**Al: -hands Sky a divorce form and then blinks- What was I just doing?**

**Sky: You don't want to know, Al…it's just better for you to forget**

**Al: …?**

**Sky: QUIT IT WITH THAT DAMN LOOK! JUST FORGET ALREADY!**

**Al: Forget what?**

**Sky: Forget that—oh, never mind…**

**Al: …?**

**Silver candle: STOP THAT!**

**Scar: Why am I always the victim?**

**Riza: I would do it if I were you**

**Scar: -looks at her confusedly and walks over to Kimbley to kiss him-**

**Sky: Hm. Looks like I have a dare. Oh yes, I have actually read all the current manga volumes and I can see how it differs from the anime. Which is why I want to see how both end, though I already know how the anime series end. But don't call your fic lame unless you definitely know it is…even though I think my EnvyxEd series is lame and hardly gets any reviews…Oh well, I'll still finish it**

Ed: I dare you to smack Roy's . MUHAHAHA!

Al: Make Ed drink milk.

Roy: Jump Ed.

Envy: Join Ed and Roy.

Greed & Kimbley: Make out.

Hughes: Since you're so good at it, take pictures of everything. xD

Ellie Evil

**Ed: Smack Roy's _what_?**

**Sky: -whispers the answer in his ear-**

**Ed: -makes a disgusted face- Are you kidding?**

**Sky: Nope.**

**Ed: -mumbles to himself and wanders over to Roy and smacks his ass- **

**Al: -reads the next question- Oooh, should I?**

**Ed: Should you what? What's your question? –is suddenly alarmed-**

**Al: -doesn't answer and instead pours another gallon of milk down Ed's throat-**

**Roy: … -looks at next question- Jump Edward? You mean like…beating him up?**

**Envy: -grins evilly and cracks knuckles- Oh, I would love to join you in that.**

**Roy: Maybe…maybe it's kissing him…**

**Sky: Make up your damn mind!**

**Roy: -whines- I can't! **

**Sky: Colonel Useless **

**Roy: -whimpers pathetically-**

**Sky: Next question!**

**Envy: Well, how can I join them if I don't know what they're doing?**

**Sky: …I don't know. Just…um…never mind! Next question!**

**Greed: Why the hell should I kiss Kimbley?!**

**Kimbley: Aw, don't you like me anymore?**

**Greed: -blushes- Fine. –makes out with him-**

**Hughes: -squeals and runs around taking pictures blinding everyone after reading his question- I'm so glad you asked me!**

I... Can't breathe... Laughing too hard... -Deep breath- Huh. Well... That was great! XD And, I've got other dares!

-Roy: go around and scream you changed your surname to Colonel Useless -smirks-.

-Winry: hit your own head with a wrench for every time you did it to Ed.

-Al: take care of my old, fat, ugly cat for a week. I can't stand him . .

-Scar: publicly admit that your god doesn't exist.

-Breda: don't eat anything containing sugar for a week.

-Envy: shape-shift into a happy little fairy with a frilly dress, wings, and long blonde hair, then go around hitting people's heads with your big shiny pink wand.

... I have a strange feeling the FMA crew will hate me after this. Kisses to everyone (except Winry)... and Roy, Ed, get togheter already!

SteelRose Alchemist

**Roy: I should WHAT?!**

**Ed: Yeah, that would be his proper name!**

**Roy: Hey!**

**Riza: I agree.**

**Havoc, Breda, Falman & Fuery: -nods and grins evilly-**

**Roy: …Fine. –goes to the office and informs them that he is to be called Colonel Useless- You just ruined my reputation, you realize**

**All: Of course**

**Roy: -TT-**

**Winry: HOW MANY PEOPLE HATE ME?! And…must I? –glances at wrench-**

**Sky: DO IT!**

**Winry: -hits herself with the wrench about ten times before knocking herself unconscious-**

**Al: But all kitties are cute and cuddly! I would love to take care of him! May I see a picture?!**

**Scar: What is with all this abuse?**

**Sky: Oh, it just means that the readers love you. Now do it**

**Scar: -goes outside and grabs a random microphone- My god, the holy Ishbalan God, does not exist. –comes back inside- Well, now I will be an outcast among my fellow Ishbalans…**

**Sky: Yep!**

**Scar: …And you're happy about that?**

**Sky: Mm...maybe! -smiles-**

**Breda: -reads his question and is horrified- No! I must have the sugar! That's part of my diet!**

**Sky: -turns to him- It's your dare so you have to do it!**

**Breda: -whimpers-**

**Sky: All right then, next question! **

**Envy: WTF? 'Into a happy little fairy****'?! Are you (censored) kidding me?!**

**Sky: You don't want to know what I'll do to you if you don't do this…do you want**** to know the consequences?**

**Envy: -pales and shakes head quickly- -shapeshifts into fairy and flies around with an evil grin hitting people's heads with his wand- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!**

**Ed: NO WE WILL NOT GET TOGETHER! WE HATE EACH OTHER! WE DON'T LOVE EACH OTHER! WE NEVER DID!**

**Roy; Aw, don't you love me anymore, Edo-kun?**

**Ed: -blushes and doesn't answer-**

OMG this is funny!

To Ed: Don't kill me cause I said that! hugs him Will you come ballroom dancing with me a nd my BFF please?!

Al: Do you want a baby kitten its all tiny and cute and needs a home?

Winry: I'm a fan if chu! ILY!

Chibi-Elric-Chan

**Ed: I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND HURT YOU UNTIL YOU REGRET THAT YOU SAID THAT! AND NO I WILL NOT DANCE WITH YOU! I DON'T DANCE!**

**Roy: Are you saying that because you don't know how to dance?**

**Ed: …Um, no…it's just…I HAVE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO THAN DANCE!**

**Roy: So you can't dance…what a shame**

**Ed: DID YOU HEAR WHAT I JUST SAID YOU BASTARD?!**

**Roy: -ignores- Come on, Ed, I'll show you how**

**Ed: KEEP AWAY FROM ME YOU JERK!**

**Roy: -starts crying- Aw, Ed, that's so mean of you…all I wanted to do was help…**

**Ed: -is speechless-**

**Al: Yes of course I would love to have the kitty!**

**Ed: -doesn't react from his statement and is still staring at Roy-**

**Al: …Eh, um, nii-san…? C-can I have the kitty?**

**Ed: -still doesn't answer-**

**Al: -smiles- Okay, I guess that's a yes then! Hooray!**

**Winry: Yay another fan! Wh00t! …And um…what ****did you say…?**

I dare Envy to hug hohenheim.

I dare Ed to drink a whole gallon of milk.Every last drop.

I dare Al to hang out with dogs for a whole day.

I dare Roy to go a day without any formalities.

I dare Riza to have someone lock up all her guns and said person who hides Riza's gun can't tell her where they are.

I dare Hughes to go a day without showing someone a picture of Elycia,saying Elycias name,or even refering to Elycia.

I dare Gluttony to go a day without eating anything.

I dare Izumi to endure insults and not be able to inflict pain upon anyone in anyway whatsoever.

And I dare Winry to make out with Al.

CharmedFullMetalAvatar

**Envy: Must I? –glares at Hohenheim- **

**Sky: Yes, you should.**

**Envy: -shudders and reluctantly hugs Hohenheim-**

**Ed: WHY MUST YOU TORTUE ME SO MUCH WITH THAT DAMN MILK?!**

**Sky: Because we all love you, Edo-kun**

**Ed: -glares and begins to drink milk-**

**Al: Oh! Um…yay? I mean…will the doggies be nice…?**

**Roy: Go a day without formalities, eh? I can do that. Edward. Riza. Jean. Fuery—**

**Sky: And you just lost!**

**Roy: H-huh? (censored)! Stupid (censored) mouth!**

**Riza: -glares at nearest person who just happens to be Wrath- You. Hide my guns.**

**Wrath: -blinks- Why?**

**Riza: Because.**

**Wrath: But whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?**

**Riza: -death glare-**

**Wrath: Eeep! –runs off to hide her guns-**

**Hughes: W-what?! But how can I go a day without saying my precious—**

**Sky: Don't say the name!**

**Hughes: -whimpers-**

**Gluttony: -stares off into space after Lust reads his question for him- Food…**

**Izumi: I guess I could try. –cracks her knuckles and places hands on hips-**

**Winry: Finally someone who doesn't want to kill me! And…I have to make out with Al…for the price…? Huh. Okay, then. –shrugs and goes over to Al- -kisses him-**

This is fun! I dare Roy to wear make up and heels for a week and say "I'm a pretty lady!". D

OH! And Ed I love you! You're so cool!

gothictombraider13

**Roy: MAKE-UP?! You want me to wear (censored) make-up?!**

**Riza: Sir, please watch your language**

**Roy: -growls- Fine, I'll do it. –applies make-up and pretends to be a girl- I'm a pretty lady! Oh yes I am! I make the boys all want to go out with me! –sings off key and very badly-**

**Ed: …That is so wrong…I'm going to have nightmares for the rest of my life…**

**Al: Same here…**

**Ed: -reads question- Yes! Finally someone who doesn't want me and Roy to get together! Wh00t!**

**Al: You know, by next chapter s/he might want you to…**

**Ed: …Damn.**

(laughs loudly) man... that was soo priceless... (grins evilly)

Here you go, more dares!

To Hughes: I dare you to rip a picture of Elicia. To pieces.

To Roy: I dare you to go and say that you're the most useless colonel in the whole wide world!

To Ed: Thanks for not killing me! but I dare you to drink a bucket of milk every five minutes until the end of this chapter!

To Roy: And I think Ed and Roy are cute together! (Goes fangirl like) So... I dare you to ask Ed out on a date, take him to most romantic restaurant in the whole city, and propose to him, then get married shortly after. No killing anybody!

See you later!

girl-13

**Hughes: -stares in shock with mouth hanging open- W-what…? B-but I would never do that…my precious Elicia…**

**Roy: -evil grin- Oh I would love to see this**

**Sky: -glares at Hughes and points at the threatening gallon of milk-**

**Hughes: -gulps and takes out a photo- I'm so sorry Elicia-chan… -tears the picture and starts crying-**

**Roy: -reads next question- WHAT? WHY THE HELL DO YOU WANT ME TO DO THAT?! I ALREADY JUST CHANGED MY DAMN SURNAME TO COLONEL USELESS! WHY MUST YOU TORTUE ME SO?!**

**Ed: Oh just do it already. Sheesh.**

**Roy: -bows head and mumbles something-**

**Sky: Can't hear you!**

**Roy: -mumbles something a little louder-**

**Sky: -grins evilly- Still can't hear you!**

**Roy: I SAID I WAS THE MOST USELESS COLONEL IN THE WORLD, OKAY?!**

**Ed: I still might kill you if you don't stop giving me these damn dares…**

**Sky: Now Edward be nice**

**Ed: -growls-**

**Sky: -in a threatening voice while pointing towards the milk again- Do it. Now.**

**Ed: -pales- F-fine. –drinks a gallon of milk and makes a disgusted face-**

**Roy: Really? Do you think so? –goes over to Ed- Hey, Ed, my dare says that I have to ask you out on a date…would you like to come with me tonight to a romantic restaurant?**

**Ed: -blushes- Do I have to?**

**Sky: You have 2.5 minutes left until you have to drink another gallon of milk, so I would do it if I were you**

**Ed: -blanches- Fine, whatever! –goes with Roy to romantic restaurant-**

**Sky: We'll do a special sneak peek next chapter, okay? That way we'll all know what will happen… -evil grin- Ed! Cue next drinking of the milk!**

**Ed: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!**

_A/N: Yay I am very happy that we have had so many dares this chapter! This fic will be mostly dares but questions are welcome too! See you next chapter!_


	6. Chapter 5

_A/N: I'm sorry if this is late, but please know that I am extremely thankful to have this many reviews!_

ROFL!! This is too funny!! Anyway...dares!! Bwahahaha!

Al: Let go of all your kittens and don't save one!! (Srry, it had to be done. I'm kinda evil)

Roy: Make out with Ed and don't complain. (Oh yeah, I noticed how u were drooling over Sasuke. BACK OFF! HE'S ONE OF MINE!! Besides, your better off with Ed)

Ed: Put your hair down and dress like a school girl for the whole chapter!!

Riza: Place your guns down and don't touch or use them at all!!

That's all I can think of. Please put them in!!

**Al: W-what? B-but… **

**Ed: Yes! Finally! –is covered with a scratches and bites from the kitties- Take those little beasts away! –a cat looks at him and then bites him on his hand- Ow! (censored)! Get back here you little bastard! –chases after cat-**

**Al: O.O… -starts crying when he remembers his dare- O…okay then. –gathers all of the little kitties and places them gently on the side of the street- Goodbye little kitties. I'll never forget you…**

**Sky: Next question…is for Roy!**

**Roy: He's one of yours? Do I want to know what that means? And I have to make out with Ed? –looks at Ed who is now being chased by the kitten still left behind- All right then. –grabs Ed as he runs past him and kisses him-**

**-five minutes later-**

**Ed: -pushes away from Roy- I can't believe I just did that…with that bastard colonel of all people…**

**Roy: Hey, I'm right here you know!**

**Ed: Don't care. –reads next question- Hey, why the hell should I dress like a girl?! **

**Sky: -shrugs- You should do it…because you look like one with your hair down**

**Ed: -glares and then sighs- -dresses like a school girl and lets his hair down-**

**All (men): -whistle and many pictures are taken-**

**Ed: -blushes and pulls at the miniskirt he is wearing- This is going to ruin me for life, I just know it…**

**Al: -having just gotten back from giving away his kitties- O.O…B-brother…why are you dressed like a girl?!**

**Ed: -runs away crying- I don't know anymore! I'm going to die of humiliation! Waah!**

**Al: …**

**Riza: Again with hiding the guns. Wrath hid the guns remember?**

**Wrath: Here I am!**

**Riza: …**

**Wrath: Did someone say something about a gun? –takes out Riza's gun and looks at it curiously- -accidentally shoots Envy- Ooops. **

**Riza: -sweatdrop- I know I'm not supposed to use them, but I really want to shoot someone now…**

**Wrath: Miss Riza…? Why are you talking to yourself?**

**Riza: -glares-**

**Wrath: -runs away scared with her gun-**

**Riza: Get back here! **

I dare all of the cast to slowly and painfully rip Envy apart limb by limb.

I dare Al to go a whole week without saying anything nice.

I dare Edward to Endure a ton of short comments and not make a comment on any of them.

I dare Roy mustang to ask Riza Hawkeye out on a date.And to continue asking until she agrees.

I dare Rose to make out furiously with Edward for a whole 5 minutes.

CharmedFullMetalAvatar

**All: -evil grin-**

**Envy: O.O**

**Sky: -sits down and grabs popcorn to watch-**

**Envy: Um…a little help…?**

**Sky: Nope! Sorry Envy!**

**Envy: -glances nervously at the others who are holding pitchforks and sharp pointy objects- B-but…**

**Izumi, Ed, Roy & Wrath: -grab him and drags him over to the others-**

**-screams of pain are heard-**

**Sky: -grin-**

**Al: O.O –reads his question- A week without saying anything nice? But…how can I do that?**

**Sky: Do it. Now.**

**Al: Um, okay. –Greed walks by him and bumps into him- Hey! Watch where you're going, jerk!**

**Greed: -turns and stares at him- Alphonse…? Aren't those the words that I normally hear out of your brother's mouth…?**

**Al: -TT-**

**Ed: Short comments?! ARE YOU SAYING THAT I'M SHORT YOU—**

**Sky: The dare!**

**Ed: -glares- Fine. –goes all day being called short- I _reeeeeeeeeeeeally_ want to murder someone now**

**Roy: That's Edward Elric for you…always resort to violence, don't you?**

**Ed: -glares-**

**Sky: Next!**

**Roy: -reads his question and grins seductively- Oh really? **

**Sky: Be careful she doesn't shoot you**

**Roy: Thanks for the tip. –goes over to Riza and asks her out-**

**Riza: No, sir.**

**Roy: -blinks and asks her again-**

**Riza: I SAID NO, DAMMIT!**

**Sky: What's the next question? We should do it while they're arguing…**

**Roy: But Riza…**

**Riza: NO! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT?! MY ANSWER IS FINAL!!**

**Roy: -TT-**

**Rose: Thank you for giving me a dare. But I really don't think I should go near Edward right now…**

**Sky: I would do it if I were you. Maybe some snogging might cheer him up**

**Rose: Snogging?**

**Sky: -blinks- NOOOOOOOO! IT'S THE ATTACK OF THE HARRY QUOTES! THIS IS WHAT I GET FOR SEEING THE NEW HARRY POTTER MOVIE THREE TIMES! GAH!**

**Rose: …**

**Ed: Did someone say my name?**

**Rose: -jumps- Oh, yes. –goes over to him and kisses him-**

**-five minutes later-**

**Ed: -pulls away- Wow.**

**Rose: -smiles-**

**Roy: ED! ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME?!**

**Ed: THAT'S MY LINE!**

**Roy: Well…NOT ANYMORE! **

**Rose: …**

I read this at about 1.30 in the morning o.o. It does strange things to my brain, so I apologize for any stupid error and/or craziness!

-Edo: If you don't love Roy, then why did you run away crying when he drooled on Sasuke's photo?

-Roy: Okay, sorry for calling you useless. -grins- guess what? I want yaoi, AGAIN. Go and make us fellow RoyEd fangirls proud!

-Lust: What hair products do you use? I want 'em too, my hair sucks!

-Breda: -pats his head- I was evil last time, here! -throws donut at him-

-Hughes: Follow Roy and Ed during their date, and take photos!

-Al: -shows photo of a fat, black and white cat- Here it is. It's mean to me and always plays with my Ed plushie! I can't stand the stupid thing! TAKE IT! -snorts-

SteelRose Alchemist

**Ed: Um…because…I DON'T KNOW! –TT-**

**Roy: So…you don't love me? **

**Ed: THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THAT I DO!**

**Roy: -TT-**

**Ed: -blinks and looks guilty- -walks over to Roy and hugs him-**

**Sky: -evil grin- -takes picture for blackmail-**

**Roy: Thank you! I told you I'm not useless! And…what's yaoi? **

**Sky: -sniggers- I don't think you want to know, Mr. Mustang…**

**Roy: -pales- Why? Is it some sort of disease? An epidemic? A company? Please tell me!**

**Sky: -ignores and points towards Lust- You have a question.**

**Lust: Hair products? Well…I'm not sure if I should reveal that to you**

**Envy: Why? Is it some sort of homunculus secret?**

**Lust: Of course. –glances at him- Though you need some rather desperately**

**Envy: Hey!**

**Wrath: That's true!**

**Sloth: I must say I agree.**

**Envy: -TT-**

**Breda: -scrambles after doughnut- FOOD! –laughs crazily- MINE!**

**Hughes: -grins evilly after reading his question- Will do!**

**Roy: Date? What date? With Ed?**

**Ed: Why the hell would I go on a date with you?**

**Roy: Now, Edward, that's not nice.**

**Hughes: You two are a couple…you just don't want to admit it. Just go on a date and you'll see.**

**Roy & Ed: -glares-**

**Al: -eyes sparkle- Oh he's so cute! Can I really have it?!**

**Ed: No you can't Alphonse Elric!**

**Al: -TT- B-but…**

**Ed: No!**

**Al: Ed, you're so mean! You're not even human! –runs away crying-**

**Ed: Al, no! Come back! –chases after him-**

**All: … **

o mi flapjacks!

Ed & Roy: can u just shut up for once and confess ur luv for each other!?

Al: my cat Marshmellow is lonly can u take him for the summer??

Winry: can u stay away from Ed and just go die?!

Envy: Dont even think about trying to rape poor edo!

thanx! X EmoNekoNinja

**Ed: FOR THE LAST TIME, WE DO NOT LOVE EACH OTHER! AND THAT'S FINAL!**

**Roy: But…I love you…**

**Ed: -head/wall- DO YOU EVER AGREE WITH ME, YOU BASTARD?!**

**Roy: -TT-**

**Ed: -glares and then sighs- Fine. I love you, too.**

**Roy: -kisses him-**

**Al: … -reads his question- Oh! Yes, can I, please please please?! –looks at Ed who is now making out with Roy- I guess I can because brother hasn't protested yet! Yay!**

**Winry: But…we're like…best friends…why the hell should I stay away from him?! Besides, he loves me**

**Al: Um, actually Winry… -points towards the still kissing new couple Roy & Ed-**

**Winry: EDWARD ELRIC ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME?!**

**Ed: -ignores-**

**Envy: -reads his question- Eh…why would I rape the Fullmetal pipsqueak? Well, now that you mention it, I think I'll do that…**

**Ed: -pulls away from Roy and transmutes his arm into a blade- Say that again, Envy…I dare you**

**Envy: What? That I'll rape you, shrimp?**

**Ed: -howls and chases after him- GET BACK HERE AND SAY THAT TO MY FACE, YOU (censored) ASSHOLE!!**

**All: …**

OMFG! This is almost to freaking funny! Now on with the dares,

Ed; Give Roy roses and chocolate, then kiss the next two guys (on the lips) who say evan one word to you.

Riza; Shoot a gun at Roy for the next hour and see if he gets hit.

Al; Go beat up Roy for three min. after Riza is finished shooting.

heh heh heh...

storyofgreen

**Ed: -smiles and gives Roy the roses and chocolate- Here ya go. –wanders around-**

**Al: Hey, nii-san, can I-?**

**Ed: -kisses him-**

**Al: -pulls away and stares blankly at his brother- You know…that actually felt kind of nice…**

**Sky: Ha! Elricest moment!**

**Al: O.O…b-but he stole my first kiss…**

**Ed: I did WHAT?!**

**Sky: Now go kiss another guy, Ed.**

**Ed: Do I have to?**

**Sky: Yes. Or the milk will be forced down your throat again**

**Ed: O.O –walks over to Havoc and Fuery- Hey, guys**

**Havoc: Oh hey, chief. How is-?**

**Ed: -kisses him and then runs back over to Roy-**

**Havoc: -stares in confusion and disbelief-**

**Sky: All right then, what's the next question? Riza! Your turn!**

**Riza: Oh? –grins evilly- I'm going to enjoy this…**

**Roy: O.O**

**Riza: -shoots him-**

**-an hour later-**

**Riza: -smirks and puts her gun away-**

**Al: I-I have to beat him up? B-but why?**

**Sky: Do it! Or I'll make you force-feed Ed milk! **

**Al: -gulps and walks over to Roy- -starts to beat him up- **

**Ed: …What is this world coming to?**

Great job, this is so funny.

Ed; I dare you to spend all your money on Roy

Winry; Go jump off a cliff and then stab yourself

Al; I don't have a dare but can I hug you?

Wrath; I dare you to go without sugar for a week

That's all for now. But I'll be back for more

Edwin Atticus

**Ed: -smiles- Okay. I can do that. **

**Winry: Ed, why are you cheating on me?! I thought you loved me!**

**Ed: Well, I don't, Win. I have never liked you that way. I love Roy**

**Winry: -raises wrench threateningly-**

**Ed: O.O –hides behind Roy- P-please don't hurt me**

**Roy: -shakes head- Miss Rockbell, you do realize that you have a dare, right?**

**Winry: Oh? –reads it- WHAT?! AGAIN WITH ME COMMITING SUICIDE! WHAT THE (censored) HELL?!**

**Sky: Watch your language! And no one likes you anyway ('cept my sister), so as I said before you'll be doing everyone a favor if you just die and stay dead!**

**Winry: -TT- -jumps off a cliff and stabs herself-**

**Sky: Finally. Hey Al, you have a question.**

**Al: Oh…um…okay? –hugs Edwin Atticus-**

**Wrath: NO I MUST HAVE THE SUGAR! I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT IT!**

**Sky: Well, you have to because you have a dare**

**Wrath: -TT-**

**-one week later-**

**Wrath: -is now skin and bones- Sugar…**

**Sky: O.O…Well, if I knew you would end up like this I wouldn't have let you do this dare…and, um, here… -throws him a chocolate bar-**

**Wrath: -chases after it- CHOCOLATE! MINE!**

**Sky: …**

I'm back:D

Envy - I dare you to get married to Ed. :3

Ed - I dare you to be Envy's slave-wife for fifteen torturous minutes, and only after those fifteen minutes may you get a divorce (if you so chose).

Roy - Are you a virgin? (that's the stupidest question on the planet, I know, but I still wanted to ask it anyway)

Winry - I dare you to marry Al (again), because you look good together. :3

Al - Your poor, poor, legal status... I dare you to run for president of the US. I'd vote for you. (hugs)

Author - A few things...

A, You have no idea how badly my story stinks. The characters are OOC (they haven't even MET each other), and the only reason I wrote it was because I was bored. NYAR. (flees off to the corner of woe)

B, And you pwn. Have the pwnsomeness trophy:D (hands over the pwnsomeness trophy, WHICH GLEAMS AND SPARKLES LIKE ARMSTRONG'S MUSCLES.)

ruinedshadows

**Envy: WHAT?! Why the (censored) hell should I get married to that pipsqueak?!**

**Ed: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL--!**

**Roy: -grabs and kisses him- You just have to act the part, Edward. Don't be so difficult**

**Ed: But I _like_ being difficult…**

**Roy: -rolls eyes-**

**Ed: -glares at Envy and starts to clean up after the sin-**

**-fifteen minutes later-**

**Ed: CAN I GET A DIVORCE NOW?!**

**Sky: -shakes head- Uh, yeah, you can.**

**Envy: You're so mean, pipsqueak**

**Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLIN' SO SMALL YOU WOULD MISTAKE HIM AS A FIRST GRADER?!**

**Envy: Your words not mine.**

**Roy: -shakes head and reads his question- Am I a virgin? Uh…well…**

**Ed: You're hesitating! Why the hell are you hesitating?!**

**Roy: …Because…I'm not…a…virgin?**

**Ed: DID YOU CHEAT ON ME?!**

**Roy: No, of course I didn't! This was before you and I were together! So that doesn't count!**

**Ed: -TT-**

**Winry: Finally a question that doesn't involve a bloody death. And yes, I will marry Al.**

**Al: O.O…R-run for president? Should I?**

**Sky: Just try it. –reads question- Oh? The characters are OOC…yeah, that's a case in my stories too…and sometimes I write stories out of sheer boredom…and thank you.**

Yay! I'm having so much fun!

Ed since I like you I decided to help you out. I dare you to milk a cow and force feed Roy that exact milk!MWAHAHAHAHA! I love torturing pretty boys!

Roy I dare you to eat a 12 gallon bucket of mustard in ten minutes...with your hands tied behind your back!

Winry I really hate you cuz you hurt Ed! Me hate you! Hate hate hate! So I dare you to sit in a bathtub full of water and drop a toaster that is still connected to the outlet in it!

Remember Edward Rox!

gothictombraider13

**Ed: O.O**

**Roy: What the hell?!**

**Ed: -evil grin- Oh I'm going to like this…**

**Roy: O.O**

**Ed: -glances at cow and milks it- C'mere Roy. –grabs Roy and pours milk down his throat- NOW DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE HORRORS OF THAT BLASTED MILK?!**

**Roy: -recovers from the milk attack and reads next question- Again: WHAT-THE-HELL?! **

**Sky: Oh just do it already.**

**Roy: And if I refuse?**

**Sky: Useless**

**Roy: -TT- I'm not useless…!**

**Sky: -singsong- Roy Mustang is useless! Roy Mustang is Colonel Useless!**

**Roy: -TT- F-fine, I'll do it. –glances at mustard and eats it with hands tied behind back-**

**-ten minutes later-**

**Roy: …Ew.**

**Ed: O.O**

**Winry: EXCUSE ME?! TELL ME WHY THE HELL I SHOULD DO THAT!**

**Ed: 'Cause no one likes you anymore…**

**Winry: Ed!**

**Ed: Well, it's true**

**Winry: -TT- -takes a bath and a toaster is dropped- -screams bloody murder-**

Ed: YOUR SE MEAN TO ROY! He was trying to help. I still love you and you don't have to get together with roy you know! Fangirls just love it!

Winry: ILYI love you (not like that as a friend)

Chibi-Elric-Chan

**Ed: I know I was, and I apologize for that.**

**Roy: You apologize?**

**Ed: Uh…yes?**

**Roy: O.O…That's a shock**

**Ed: Hey!**

**Roy: Well it is.**

**Ed: …**

**Winry: -having mysteriously come back to life- Thanks! **

Ok. I had enough of torturing Ed... So, this time, I'll give dares to other people! (smiles very VERY evilly)(clears throat)

To Winry: I dare you to go and take every single automail that you ever made (that can still be found) and.. and...SMASH THEM TO PIECES! Then, commit suicide. I'm sorry, I'm trying... but I can't help but HATE you! .

To Fuery: Why are you so cute? (pinches Fuery's cheek) I almost feel sorry for giving this dare T-T... ALMOST.(grins) I dare you go to Havoc and make out with him, tell him that he's sexy and date him... then dump him and go to the South.

To Al: I wont even ask how you got that tutu to fit you after all those years... I dare you to find Alphons and make out with him. Hehehe... I like weird pairings, I know!

To Roy: I dare you to announce your lover to everyone via the PA system. And it

better not be some random girl... (darkly) or else... And before any of you ask, yes, I'm a RoyEd fangirl.

Be truthful!

To Scar: I dare you to take of your clothes and sit in front of Central Headquarters for an hour. No Clothes! At all!

To Ed: Sorry about my last two dares for you... I can't resist... It's so much fun!

:D Still, sorry. Will you ever forgive me? (sobs) will you? (Eyes full of tears)

Well, thats all! Enjoy your dares! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

girl-13

**Winry: Nooooooooooooooooooo! –TT- -gathers all of her automail and smashes them- -then commits suicide-**

**Sky: …Well…that didn't take too long…she didn't even protest…**

**Ed: Yeah…for once.**

**Fuery: Eh, um, thank…you? –goes over to Havoc and makes out with him- Now we're through. –packs and moves to the South-**

**Havoc: What just happened?**

**All: …**

**Al: I make out with Alphons-san?**

**Alphons: Someone say my name?**

**Al: -grabs him and makes out with him-**

**Ed: O.O**

**Roy: Will do! –grabs the P.A.- My lover is…Edward Elric! –starts laughing crazily- He belongs to me!**

**Ed: O.O…I don't know him…get me out of here...**

**Scar: …Excuse me?**

**Sky: Do it already! I want to see this!**

**Scar: … -takes off all clothes and sits in front of Central Headquarters-**

**All: …**

**Ed: Thank you! And if you never dare me to do something stupid again, then I might forgive you…**

mwahaahhahahahha im back baby!

1. ed i dare you to use this alphonse size mallet and smack roy into the ground.

2.roy i dare you to interupt one of king bradlys meetings and annouce your useless then shove a 5 no 10 no 20 sticks of dynamite up your but and have light all 20 sticks at the same time.

al... dont do a thing... have a kitty and if ed says no then say (bite my shiny metal )hahahahahhahahahahahahha im EVIL

demi sayain

**Roy: O.O**

**Ed: Eeeh? Why would I do that?**

**Sky: Well, unless you want to force down milk down your or Roy's throat then I suggest you do it**

**Ed: O.O –grabs mallet and smacks Roy- Sorry.**

**Roy: -appears suddenly in one of the Fuhrer's meetings and stands- I'm useless! Just thought you ought to know… -shoves the sticks of dynamite up his butt and they are lit- -blows up into the sky- **

**Ed: …**

**Al: Thank you for the kitty! **

I love this story so far! Keep it up and I have a few dares.

Ed: Lock yourself in a room full of Roy fangirls.

Roy:Lock yourself in a room full of Ed fangirls.

Havoc: Go a day without that stick of tabacco(sp?)

Riza: Read a Royai fic.

KantanaWarrior45

**Ed: O.O **

**Roy: …**

**Sky: Well, are you going to do it or what?**

**Ed & Roy: … -locks themselves in their rooms and then screams are heard-**

**Sky: -laughs evilly-**

**Havoc: But…! I can't go one minute without my cigarette! **

**Fuery: But you should do it…**

**Breda: Yeah. Or Sky will do something to you**

**Havoc: O.O –throws away his tobacco-**

**-one hour later-**

**Havoc: -is as pale as a ghost- Tobacco…**

**Riza: -walks into the room and glances at him- Oh my god! Second lieutenant?!**

**Havoc: Yeah?**

**Riza: Why the hell do you look like that?**

**Havoc: Because of my dare**

**Riza: …Well, it's not healthy for you to smoke anyway…**

**Havoc: -TT-**

Havoc: Ack! No! I'm not a HavocRoy fan! -faints-

Edo: If you had this apprentice named Hazel, who lost her brother and was planning on bringing him back to life and you found out what would you do?

Onna-san

**Havoc: Thank you! Me and the colonel don't click together as well as him and the chief**

**Ed: I would tell her that it was wrong of course. But I wouldn't tell her wht happened when we or Sensei tried…**

**Izumi: Good. Because if you said something different then I would punish you –cracks knuckles threateningly-**

**Ed: O.O**

_A/N: Thank you so much for all the reviews! I hope that we could possibly get some questions but also dares next chapter! See you then!_


	7. Chapter 6

_A/N: I am so sorry that this is so late! I was pet-sitting a beagle for two weeks and then I went on an eleven day vacation (that involved camping, mission work, and a cruise to the Bahamas). I would like to thank everyone who reviewed last chapter and have stuck with this story this far, because I honestly did not think it would be this popular. And now…onto the chapter!_

Yeah I have one thing to say to Al and that is well...blushes you are the most sweetest, cutest, hottest, caringest, awesomest, guy I have ever met, and I SERIOUSLY love you...blushes more and nearly faints

P.S. Oh and I also dare you to stop making out with any other guy, cause...um ew-.- AND I ALSO HAPPEN TO LIKE WINRY BY THE WAY! SHE'S AWESOME, AND NEEDS TO BE TREATED WITH MORE RESPECT CAUSE IN THE SERIES SHE'S MORE SMARTER THAN THAT!

Darkalchemist409

**Al: -blushes- Eh, um…t-thank you?**

**Ed: -evil smirk- Looks like you got yourself a girlfriend… **

**Al: -blush darkens-**

**Ed: Good work!**

**Al: …**

**Ed: Hey wait a second! Have you been making out with guys Alphonse?! …Or is that me? –mumbles- Yeah, maybe it's me…because I kissed Roy…Al…Havoc… -counts on fingers-**

**Winry: Thank you! See?! I AM awesome, aren't I?!**

**Sky: -gags-**

**Non-Winry fans: -glares bloody murder and waves pitchforks in her direction-**

**Winry: O.O**

Meow...

i dare Ed and Roy to get married but Ed has to were the dress THEN poor Ed will be raped by Envy with roy tied up and forced to watch THEN somhow Roy gets free and Flames the hell out of Envy with his gloves and saves Edo THEN Hugs him and says it will be all right...

Author: is this to much?? if it is srry! TT.TT

EmoNekoNinja

**Ed, Roy & Envy: O.O**

**Sky: -evil grin- It's nothing I can't handle! All right then! –claps hands- Let's do it!**

**Roy: Do what?**

**Sky: What the hell do you think?**

**Roy: …Oh.**

**Ed & Envy: -sweatdrop-**

**Sky: -shakes head- Now…BEGIN!**

**Al: -smirks- -is dressed like a priest- I never thought that I would be the one to wed you two, brother…you sure this can't be real?**

**Ed: Oh, shut up. –is dressed in a white dress with a veil-**

**Al: Okay then. You may now kiss the bride. And when you do that, you can go away now and leave me alone. –locks himself in his bedroom-**

**Ed: …?**

**Envy: -jumps out and tackles him- -laughs crazily- I've caught you my precious Hagane no chibi!**

**Ed: WHOTHEHELLAREYOUCALLINGSOSMALLYOUWANTOCRUNCHHIMLIKEANANT?!**

**Envy: That wasn't as explosively creative as usual, chibi-chan. Are you losing your touch?**

**Ed: SHUTTHEHELLUP!**

**Envy: Why are you talking like that?**

**Ed: H-huh? Oh…um…I don't know…just…LEAVE ME ALONE! –goes to cry in a corner-**

**Envy: …**

**Sky: Will you just get on with it already?**

**Envy: -grabs Edo and rapes him- Now what do I do?**

**Sky: Do it again!**

**Envy: Um, why…?**

**Sky: Because Roy wasn't watching, duh!**

**Envy: …**

**Sky: -ties Roy to a chair- **

**Envy: -rapes Edo again-**

**Roy: Nooooooooooo! Ed! I'll save you! –tries to free himself but ends up falling to the ground-**

**Sky: -rolls eyes- Not exactly the hero I was expecting him to be…**

**Roy: Oh, shut up. –frees him and sends flame in Envy's direction-**

**Envy: Ow! That hurt, you (censored) bastard!**

**Roy: Do I look like I care?**

**Envy: -mumbles something and slinks away-**

**Roy: -grins and hugs Edo- It'll be all right…I'm here…**

**Sky: -is taping it for blackmail- **

I dare Armstrong to give Ed an atomic wedgie.

I dare Roy to ask Riza out.

I dare Riza to accept.

I dare Al to verbaly abuse Ed.

I dare Scar to be locked in a room full of state alchemists and not be able

to harm any of them.

I dare Izumi to severly harm Wrath.(nothing against you Wrath)

I dare ughes to let Roy burn one of his pictures of Elycia.

And I dare everyone to severly harm Envy,Dante and Shou Tucker.

CharmedFullMetalAvatar

**Ed: O.O**

**Armstrong: Why, of course! The atomic wedgie technique has been passed through the Armstrong family for generations! –grabs Ed and gives him one-**

**Ed: -is crying silently and screaming inwardly-**

**Roy: … -reads his question and smirks- Riza…will you go out with me?**

**Riza: -glances at him before reading her question- Yes, sir. But only this one time, do you understand?**

**Roy: -nods quickly-**

**Al: Um…why…?**

**Sky: Do you want to be force-fed milk that badly?**

**Al: O.O…Um, not really…**

**Sky: Then do it, okay?**

**Al: … -turns to Ed- Brother, you're a know-it-all pipsqueak, a jerk… -goes on-**

**All: O.O**

**Scar: Excuse me?**

**Sky: You read correctly. –shoves him in the room and locks the door-**

**Scar: -glares murderously at the state alchemists-**

**Random state alchemists: O.O**

**Izumi: Well, unless he's done something I can't forgive, I'm afraid that I—**

**Wrath: Um…Mommy…I, uh, broke your vase…**

**Izumi: WHAT?! –severely beats him up-**

**Wrath: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!**

**Hughes: -holds picture protectively to his chest and eyes Roy warily- Why the hell should I?**

**Roy: -evil smirk- Stop being such a baby. –grabs picture and burns it-**

**Hughes: -TT-**

**Envy, Dante & Shou Tucker: O.O**

**All: -evil grin-**

**-screams of pain are heard once more-**

Me again! Sorry about the dare, Ed, I'll give you something nice this time. I hope the fangirls didn't hurt you. Onto the dares.

1)Ed: beat up Roy all you like.

2)Breda: Do your impression of Major Armstrong in front of Major Armstrong

3)Hughes:Torture everyone with talk of Elysia.

KantanaWarrior45

**Ed: Well, of course they hurt me dammit! They made me take my clothes off! **

**Roy: Tough luck pipsqueak **

**Ed: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT YOU COULD MISTAKE HIM FOR A NAKED BABY IF HE TOOK HIS CLOTHES OFF?!**

**Roy: I never said that, shrimp**

**Ed: WHO THE HELL--!**

**Sky: Ed! You have a dare!**

**Ed: Huh? –reads his question and smirks evilly-**

**Roy: Why am I getting a bad feeling about this?**

**Ed: Wh00t! –beats Roy up-**

**Roy: What did I ever do to deserve this? –TT-**

**Breda: Ah, an impression of Major Armstrong… -puts on fake mustache and the attachable sparkles- Being annoying is a technique that has been handed down the Armstrong family for generations!**

**Armstrong: …**

**Sky: If there was a scary costume contest, I think Breda would win**

**All: -nods-**

**Hughes: -evil grin- Will do!**

Oh yes! My first time actually reviewing for a story like this! Okay here I go!

To roy: I dare you to marry ed right now! you two belong together forever! (Yes I am a proud ROYxED fangirl!)

To AL: I dare you to kick the next cat/ kitten you see!

To Envy: I dare you to...to... CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR! -laughs evily-

And finally To Ed: Im gonna be nice no dare for you ed! I'm a fan, and therefore have no desire to put you in any bad situation. Like drinking milk. In my opinion your one of the best anime characters ever!

roy: your on the list to!

Oh and before I forget! Silver Candle! GREAT JOB! gives cookie

Well bye bye for now!

Akira-sensei

**Roy: Does it count if I'm already married to him…?**

**Ed: -nods-**

**Sky: I guess…**

**Al: -reads his question- K-kick the kitties…? B-but…I could never…**

**Sky: You have to do it, you know…**

**Al: -TT- -walks around and kicks every single cat in Central-**

**Envy: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Why the (censored) hell should I cut off my hair?!**

**Sky: -sneaks up behind him and cuts off his hair while he's ranting- -walks away whistling innocently-**

**Ed & Roy: Thanks! **

**Sky: Thank you very much! –smiles- Yay, cookie!**

wow really long last time!

Roy: whats your favorite pairing? Besides you and Ed!

Chibi-Elric-Chan

**Roy: Hm…what's my favorite pairing? Let's see…**

**Ed: Roy! Are you cheating on me again?!**

**Roy: No of course not!**

**Ed: Yes you are! You were just about to confess your love for another person! Who is it?! –dark voice-**

**Roy: But I didn't even say anything!**

**Ed: -runs away crying- Waaaaaaaaaaaah, Roy doesn't like me anymore!**

**Roy: No, Ed, wait!**

**Sky: Smooth, Roy…_smooth_**

**Roy: -TT- Shut up**

**Sky: So what's your favorite pairing?**

**Roy: -looks around apprehensively- -whispers- I guess Royai…**

**Ed: _WHAT?!_**

**Roy: -whimpers- Why me?**

Hahahahaha! I'm back with a new name! If you have no idea who I am I was gothictombraider13 okay! Sorry just feeling a little shouty today.

Ed:How can you eat so much and not look fat? Where do you put it all?

Roy: I dare you to dye your hair bright pink,wear tights, a leather sleeveless shirt,a scarf, and talk like a cheerleader for the rest of this chapter! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Winry:I dare you to shave your head,dress like a boy, and try hitting on Roy.

Riza: I like your hair how did you get to look like that?

Scar: I dare you to become an Alchemist! And no you can't kill anyone there or yourself.

Al: I dare you to kick every cat you have!

Lust: I dare you to shave your head as well and not wear makeup for the rest of your life!

Well that's all I have...for now! ha ha ha ha ha...HA! Also remeber Ed rox and Winry sux!

lou garou

**Ed: -shifty eyes- Um…because I work out a lot…you know… **

**Roy: -TT- What is with all of this abuse? –dies hair pink and puts on cheerleader outfit- Like, omg, does this, like, make me, like, look, like, fat?**

**Ed: Oh...wow...what...the...hell? -mutters- This is going to scar me for life...**

**Winry: O.O…Excuse me? **

**Sky: -glares murderously-**

**Winry: -pales and shaves head, dresses like a boy- Hiya, Roy, you look pretty hot**

**Ed: -glares- Get away from my**** Roy! –beats her up- Hey, um, Roy? Why the hell are you dressed like that?**

**Roy: -TT-**

**Riza: Thank you. How I did it like this is simple, really… -explains-**

**Scar: Why am I being abused so? –takes State Alchemist exams- Must I refrain from killing somebody?**

**Sky: Yes.**

**Scar: -TT-**

**All: O.O**

**Al: B-but I've already done that…!**

**Sky: Well, do it again!**

**Al: -TT- -kicks all the cats again-**

**Lust: -glares but shaves her head- I look like a freak now…**

**Greed: Well, don't you already?**

**Lust: -glares bloody murder and stabs him-**

**Ed: Thanks! I do rock, don't I?! –arrogant smirk-**

**Winry: Why?! –TT-**

Really good. And funny so far. Now, on with the dares:

Edo-kun: Can I give you a hug?

Silver Candle: Handcuff yourself to Envy for a whole chapter

Roy: Make out with your reflection (Don't even ask)

Lust: Your cool. I love your hair style! I can't do anything mean to you, 'cuz your so cool.

Envy: Proclaim to the world that you are the man-lady of the Homunculi.

Thats all for now. I'll be back later. gives Ed and Roy a kiss on the lips -blush-

The Random Cookie

**Ed: Oh! Um…sure… -lets The Random Cookie hug him-**

**Sky: -evil grin- Will do! –handcuffs self to Envy-**

**Envy: O.O…Get me out of here…**

**Roy: Make out with my reflection? **

**Ed: -evil smirk- This I have to see. –holds up camera-**

**Roy: -TT- Ed, how could you?**

**Sky: Do it already!**

**Roy: -starts to make out with reflection-**

**Ed: -takes pictures for blackmail-**

**Lust: Thank you. I am, aren't I? –smirks-**

**Envy: Isn't this torture enough? –gestures to handcuffs-**

**Sky: Apparently not.**

**Envy: -TT- I AM THE MAN-LADY OF THE HOMUNCULI! BEWARE!**

**All: …**

**Ed & Roy: -blush-**

Haha. The last dare I sent in where Roy jumped Ed was supposed to be them making out. Not fighting. :) More dares!

Scar: Become a State Alchemist.

Riza: Sell all of your guns.

Winry: I don't hate you . . . but I don't like you, either.

Hughes: Take pictures of Ed and Roy making out for me.

Al: Give all of your cats to Envy to take care of for a week.

Gluttony: Go to Weight Watchers.

Lust: Be Wrath's babysitter for a month.

Ellie Evil

**Scar: I already am one, so I'm afraid that I cannot do your dare**

**Riza: WHAT?! Sell my guns?! But…**

**Roy: Are they really that important to you, chuui?**

**Riza: -glares- Yes. And plus, they're the only thing that can make you work when you slack off, sir**

**Roy: … -sweatdrops-**

**Riza: -sells her guns to the homunculi- I don't know what I can do now to protect anyone now…**

**Roy: O.O…Y-you mean…**

**Riza: Yes, sir**

**Roy: -faints-**

**Riza: …**

**Winry: -reads her question- Um…thank you? I guess...**

**Hughes: -laughs crazily- Of course!**

**Roy & Ed: …**

**Hughes: You two! Make-out with each other! Now!**

**Roy & Ed: …? **

**Hughes: It's part of my dare!**

**Roy: Oh. I should have known.**

**Ed: -nods-**

**Roy: -kisses Ed-**

**Hughes: -squeals and takes a million pictures-**

**Al: O.O…B-but…Envy-san…I can't…**

**Envy: -looks up from torturing a kitten- Someone say my name?**

**Al: -TT- You have to take care of my cats for a week**

**Envy: Oh really?**

**Al: -nods- Just promise me you won't hurt them**

**Envy: -hides mangled kitten behind him- Whatever gave you that idea?**

**Al: … -gives him the kittens-**

**Gluttony: -drool- What's that? Can I eat it?**

**Wrath: No. You can't.**

**Lust: -reads her question- Don't I already do that?**

**Wrath: Do what?**

**Lust: -rolls eyes and sighs irritably- Baby-sit you, brat**

**Wrath: -starts to cry- Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Auntie Lust called me a brat…!**

**Lust & Envy: Well, you are one…**

**Wrath: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!**

**Envy: -covers ears with hands- Gah, make him shut the (censored) up!**

**Lust: Why don't you do that?!**

**Envy: Isn't that _your_ job?!**

**Sloth: … -hugs Wrath-**

Hi guys! (waves) (cracks knuckles)Here we go... MORE DARES!

To Ed: To you, what does it mean to be shorter than an eight grader? I'm in the eight grade and I'm taller than you! See? It's not a dare. (smiles an angelic smile)

To Winry: I just realized that without you, Ed don't have anyone to fix his automail... But I still hate you!

To Havoc: Go and find Fuery at the South! Don't come back until you find him and bring him back.

To Envy: Change into a brunette girl, wear a girl's school uniform, read girl's magazines and act like a girl until the end of the chapter.

To Roy: Are you really 25? I thought you're older... and btw, you're a pedophile.

To Riza: Treat Ed like he's your son. no guns!

To Fuery: ...CUTE! (hugs you) You are so CUTE! (continues on hugging until Havoc finds Fuery)

girl-13

**Ed: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT HE'S SHORTER THAN A FIRST GRADER?!**

**Roy: That would be you**

**Ed: -TT- I'm not short...**

**Winry: Yeah! …And, uh, thanks…I guess?**

**Havoc: -blinks- Who me? Okay… -goes to the South- **

**Envy: WHAT?! –pouts- Fine. –transforms into a brunette- OMG, does this, like, make my butt, like, look big?**

**Roy: I'm 29, actually… And, uh, should I thank you…and should I tak e that as a compliment?**

**Riza: -smiles- I do that already, don't I?**

**Ed: Yeah, but you still point your gun at me…**

**Riza: -glares-**

**Ed: Eeep! –hides behind Roy-**

**Fuery: -blush- -is being hugged by girl-13-**

**Havoc: -suddenly appears and grabs Fuery- -drags him away-**

Izumi: ZOMFG! Teach me alchemy! Wait...-looks fearfully at island- Erm...what if I already know the answer to that. Then theres no need for that whole month on an island thing right?

Havoc: -.- NO! Curse you all you people getting me into RoyEd! Though I think Edwin is cuter...I'll leave the tracks and read some RoyEd at ties. -glances guiltily at Edo-

Ed: -pokes- Kay, and if she was five and her other brother tried to use her as material for said Human Transmutation? Would you be very angry?

Alphonse: -hands box of different kitties- I found them in our yard, will you take them? -there are three black ones and two white ones and one that's black and white- There names are Night, Shadow, Theif, Tamaku, Basil, and Colonel Kitty! -cuddles-

Onna-san

**Izumi: What does that mean anyway? And if you already know the answer then there is no point!**

**Havoc: What's RoyEd? You mean the chief and the boss getting together? I guess that's good news…**

**Ed: Don't poke me! And yes I would be angry- THAT SON OF A (censored) HAS NO RIGHT TO DO THAT! IF I EVER MEET HIM I WILL PERSONALLY KICK HIS (censored) ASS!**

**Al: Ed, please…no violence…**

**Ed: -glares- Fine. –crosses arms-**

**Al: -reads his question- Yay! Kitties!**

This is way too funny!! Please plz plz use one of my dares!

Ed: I dare u to wear a tiny tiny pink miniskirt and a white goldish tube top. Tie ur hair in a ponytial and sing 'I'm a barbie girl' in front of everyone. U can complain, but u can't deny it! Then I dare u to grab a hose filled with 5 tons of milk and aim it at Winry. ALso, hit her with as many wrenchse as u want. (see? equivalent exchange!)

Roy: No calling Ed short for a month and kiss Ed again.

Winry: I dare u to read 100 edxroy fanfics oh and go lock urself in a room full of yaoi fangirls. -snickers evilly-

Al: I dare u to chase a cat up a tree

Envy: I dare u to kill Winry and tell us why u wear a miniskirt.

Hope u like these! And PS. GO DIE WINRY!!

MikoKikyo7

**Ed: Excuse me?!**

**Al: -sniggers- I would love to see this…**

**Ed: Al!**

**Roy: As do I.**

**Ed: -TT- -dresses in outfit and grabs microphone- I'm a Barbie girl! In a Barbie world!**

**Hughes: -takes pictures as blackmail-**

**Al: Oh, Ed, you have a second part to your dare!**

**Ed: I do?! –reads it and smiles evilly- I'm so gonna enjoy this… -grabs a hose filled with milk- Oh, Winry!**

**Winry: Yeah?**

**Ed: -blasts her with the milk-**

**Winry: Wah! What the hell, Ed?!**

**Ed: -evil smile widens and he raises the water pressure before it runs out- -grabs as many wrenches as he can carry and throws them all at Winry- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! TAKE THAT YOU BITCH!!**

**Roy: Aw…I'm going to miss out on a lot of opportunities then…**

**Ed: -turns towards him- Huh? What are you talking about?**

**Roy: -grabs him and kisses him-**

**Winry: Oh? –reads all the fics- Nooooooo! My eyes! They're burning! Oh the horror! That is so gross! I can't believe that they would do such a thing!!**

**Sky: -throws her in a room filled with yaoi fangirls and throws away the key-**

**Winry: -screams in pain-**

**Al: -chases the cat- No! Kitty-san! Come back! –chases it up the tree and is stuck there-**

**Envy: -somehow slips into the room Winry's in and kills her- Okay, first thing's first: this is not a miniskirt. It is a short with a skirt on it**

**Lust: Isn't that the same thing?**

**Envy: No!**

**Wrath: Are you sure?**

**Envy: Yes!**

**Greed: I still don't believe you- I still think you're a crossdressing palm tree who just happens to be gender-confused**

**Envy: -TT-**

It's so good to come home from Greece and find a new chapter. Now on with the dares!

-Roy: -smirks- if you REALLY want to know what yaoi is, I could tell you. But you have to beg me!

-Riza: -whispers the meaning of yaoi in her ear- tell the colonel only after he's begged me, 'kay?

-Ed: Are YOU a virgin? If not, who was your first time?

-Havoc: You look good with Riza, ask her out.

-Izumi: Teach me alchemy! Pwetty pwease? -puppy eyes-

SteelRose Alchemist

**Roy: Never! I will never stoop so low!**

**Riza: -stares in shock- I'm sure you're better off knowing, sir…**

**Roy: But…I don't like it when people know stuff that I don't… -whines-**

**Riza: I'm still not telling you, sir**

**Roy: -TT-**

**Ed: -blush- I _am_ still a virgin! Why the hell would I--?**

**Winry: Edward, please do not finish your sentence**

**Ed: -stares- How do you know what I was going to say?**

**Winry: I've known you since we were in diapers, remember?**

**Ed: Oh yeah…**

**Winry: -sweatdrop-**

**Ed: But that wasn't a good thing...**

**Winry: -glares-**

**Sky: -smacks her-**

**Havoc: Isn't Riza going out with Fuery? Because if she is and I ask her out, then she would shoot my head off**

**Riza: Yes, I would –points gun at him-**

**Havoc: O.O**

**Izumi: You are the second person to ask me that and the answer is still NO!**

oh...Im gonna have fun...

To Edo-I dare you to...(snickers)Make out with Roy for a whole TWO chapters!

To Envy-I swear...I hate you.Dont touch Roy-sans Edo-kun ever again or else I will chop u up into itsy bitzy pecies and then feed you to my dog Minnie.

To Whinry-I dont kno if I spelled ur name right but I dont care I hate you.U look like a who got too much plastic surgery.

To Roysan-Roy-san I dare you to...hmm...I dare you to...marry Ed and never get devoriced.

To Ed-U cant devoriced to Roy-san either!

To Author-Update very soon and when my FMA story comes out read it!

your supa sexy Roy-san/Ed fan,

Melchan13

**Ed: -stares- Um…okay… -makes out with Roy-**

**Envy: But everyone loves me! **

**Lust: No they don't**

**Envy: -TT-**

**Winry: No you didn't spell my name right and I don't appreciate you saying that you don't care! And _excuse_**** me for looking like someone who had too much plastic surgery because I never had one and never will!**

**Wrath: Will someone make her shut up already?**

**Sky: -throws wrench at Winry and knocks her out-**

**Roy: -can't answer because he is still making out with Ed-**

**Hughes: I'm sure he will never divorce Ed because I know they love each other!**

**Sky: Tell me when you post it and I promise I will!**

This is going to be fun...

Ed-Beat up Envy!

Scar-Ask a random fangirl on a date. No killing!

Envy- I can't stand you!! Let Ed beat you up and you can't fight back.

Roy-spend time with Sasuke from Naruto then go to Naruto and Sakura.

Riza-make-out with anyone that says a word to you

jrockonhigh

**Ed: -breaks away from kissing Roy and grins evilly- Will do! –beats up Envy- **

**Envy: What the hell did I ever do to you?!**

**Ed: Oh. I dunno…beat me up and call me small and—**

**Envy: But that was the fun part!**

**Ed: WHAT?!**

**Scar: I ask again…why am I being abused so? –asks random girl out for a date- Are you sure I can't kill her afterward?**

**Sky: Yes.**

**Scar: -growls- Fine.**

**Envy: AGAIN I THOUGHT EVERYONE LOVED ME BUT I GUESS I THOUGHT WRONG!**

**Wrath: You're right**

**Envy: I wasn't asking _you_, brat!**

**Wrath: -glares-**

**Ed: -beats up Envy even more-**

**Roy: Who…?**

**Sasuke: Hello**

**Roy: -drools-**

**Sasuke: …**

**Ed: -launches himself onto Roy and starts to beat him up- ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME, ROY MUSTANG?!**

**Sasuke: -slowly backs away-**

**Riza: -blinks- Must I?**

**Havoc: Hey, Riza, I—**

**Riza: -grabs him and makes out with him-**

I'm sorry, I can't help but keep writing dares for this story! XD

Okay, here goes...

... Ed - put a basket on your head and jump around like a lunatic yelling "I'm a pretty pony". (Don't ask, that was completely random)

Al - Do whatever you to for the rest of the day, and not care what everyone else says. :3

Winry - Shoot Rose for me. I'd love you forever. :)

Roy - Admit you love Riza!! (I know you do. :3)

Author - you're still completely awesome. X3

ruinedshadows

**Ed: Excuse me?**

**Sky: Oh, I can't wait to see this…**

**Ed: … -puts basket on head and jumps around like a lunatic- I'm a pretty pony! I'M A PRETTY PONY! FEAR ME! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**All: …**

**Al: Okay!**

**Winry: Who's Rose again?**

**Rose: That would be me…and I assume that you are Winry?**

**Winry: Uh, yes… -hides gun behind her back and points it at Rose- Don't move or I will shoot!**

**Rose: -backs away with hands held up- B-but why on earth…?**

**Winry: You've been warned! –pulls the trigger- -guns spews out confetti and a sign that says 'haha no ammunition'-**

**Rose: …**

**Winry: Dammit! Wrong gun! –pulls out a second gun but this one makes a farting noise- Gah! Dammit, dammit, dammit! Where is that gun?!**

**Rose: -blinks-**

**Winry: AHA! -pulls out third gun and pulls the trigger- -the gun releases a dart and it sticks on Rose's forehead- DAMMIT! WHERE IS THAT GUN?!**

**Rose: -unsticks the dart- …Um, I'll be going now…**

**Winry: Wait! –pulls out real gun and shoots her- Finally. Took long enough**

**Sky: Well you know what that just proved? That you were too dumb to check which gun you had on you...**

**Winry: -glares and points the gun at her- -pulls the trigger but the gun blows up on her-**

**Roy: -reads question- Well, how about this? I love Ed and I also love Riza…does that count?**

**Ed: SO YOU WERE CHEATING ON ME, DAMMIT! I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN! –beats him up-**

**Roy: -whimpers- Why me?**

**Sky: Thanks!**

A/N: That was fun to write! Thank you again to those who reviewed! See you next chapter!


	8. Chapter 7

_A/N: I am so sorry that this is over three months late! I've lost track of time because of school and all the homework our teachers loaded us with… And I did accidently delete the original copy of this chapter but I tried my best to rewrite it. _

_For those whose reviews did not make it into this chapter, I am very very sorry for that. I will try to put your dares in the next chapter. Enjoy the chapter, and yay for new summary! –hands out cookies- _

_Merry Christmas! Hope you enjoy!_

I just can't help but review:D

Winry: Fight Wrath in a battle to the death.

Greed: Marry Kimbley and proclaim your love for him at the top of your lungs.

Rose: Jump off a cliff.

Edward: Dance to If You Want It To Be Good by the Backstreet Boys. xD lmfao.

Ellie Evil

**Winry: Huh? **

**Wrath: FIGHT! –laughs crazily- **

**All: -backs away- **

**Sky: All right then. –hits Wrath gently on the head- Let's get this fight started, shall we?**

**Winry: Hey, wait a second! Don't I get a say in this?!**

**Sky: No. You never have, and you never will. So deal with it.**

**Winry: … -glares-**

**Sky: Now…let the fight…BEGIN!**

**Wrath: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! DIE YOU DAMN BITCH!! –chases after Winry hitting her with a squirrel-**

**Greed: Oh, Kimbley…**

**Kimbley: What the hell do you want?**

**Greed: Will you marry me?**

**Kimbley: …No.**

**Greed: Aw…why not?**

**Kimbley: Because I don't like you**

**Greed: That's not very nice**

**Kimbley: And since _when_ was I nice?**

**Greed: Well, never…but…**

**Kimbley: Exactly.**

**Greed: I LOVE YOU KIMBLEY!! –tackles/glomps-**

**Rose: Eh? Jump off a cliff? Am I hated that much?**

**Sky: I would think… You know, at the same time I like you…and then I hate you…I wonder why…?**

**Rose: -sweatdrops- Uh, thanks I guess… -steps towards the edge of the cliff and stares nervously down into the ravine- **

**Ed: Hey, when did that get there?**

**Sky: -grins evilly and laughs crazily- **

**Ed & Rose: -exchange glances and slowly backs away-**

**Silver candle: You still have to jump, Rose!**

**Rose: -walks to the edge of the cliff again- Are you quite sure…?**

**Sky: -nods and signals to Envy-**

**Envy: -walks up behind Rose and pushes her-**

**Rose: -screams as she falls-**

**Ed: But what if I don't want to dance? And what the hell does that mean anyway?**

**Sky: -glares and holds up gallon of milk-**

**Ed: I _thought_ I asked you to keep that accursed liquid away from me**

**Sky: -smirks evilly and steps closer-**

**Ed: O.O…A-all right, just keep it…AWAY! –runs away and stops, looking around cautiously and starting to dance-**

Yay XD

-Riza: Tell him anyways. I want to see the look on Mustang's face when he discovers the magical world of yaoi.  
-Ed: Cheat on Mustang. With whoever you want. Remember, he drooled on Sasuke and loves Riza. HE DESERVES IT! -laughs evilly-  
-Envy: Make out with Alphonse.  
-Havoc: Aw, come on. At least kiss her and run away. Yay XD

SteelRose Alchemist

**Riza: -smirks- I really should, shouldn't I? I don't know if he'll be sane after I tell him though… -thinks for a moment and smirks evilly- No, I'll tell him anyway.**

**Roy: …?**

**Riza: Excellent, you're already here. Saves me the trouble of looking for you and shooting your head off… Anyway. I'm supposed to tell you what yaoi is and I can't wait to see your reaction**

**Roy: …?**

**Riza: …Do you want to know or not? –doesn't wait until he answers- Never mind. Yaoi is… -dramatic pause- love between… -another dramatic pause- two… -yet another dramatic pause-**

**Roy: Are you going to tell me or am I going to have to wait here until you stop doing that?**

**Riza: -innocently- Doing what?**

**Roy: You keep…oh, never mind. I never win against you, anyway…**

**Riza: -rolls eyes and shakes head- As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, yaoi is love between two… -long pause-**

**Roy: WILL YOU STOP DOING THAT ALREADY?!**

**Riza: Doing what, sir? **

**Roy: NEVER MIND! JUST GET ON WITH IT!**

**Riza: You don't have to yell, sir.**

**Roy: -glares- You're enjoying this, aren't you?**

**Riza: -smirks- As I was saying, yaoi is love between two…men.**

**Roy: YOU PUT ME THROUGH YOUR TORTURE JUST FOR THAT SIMPLE AS HELL ANSWER?! AND ARE YOU CRAZY?! WHO WOULD LOVE MEN?! OTHER MEN?!**

**Ed: -tear/sniff- A-are you s-saying t-that y-you d-d-don't l-like me…?**

**Roy: Eh? Oh, (censored)! Ed! You didn't need to hear that!**

**Ed: -runs away crying- I knew you didn't like me…!**

**Riza: Good work, sir.**

**Roy: -glares at her- Shut up.**

**Riza: -smirks-**

**Ed: -runs into Envy as he's running away and lands on top of him-**

**Sky: -squeals silently-**

**Ed: -blushes- Oh, um, s-sorry, Envy…**

**Envy: -blinks at him- Are you okay?**

**Ed: -rubs his nose- Mustang doesn't like me anymore…**

**Envy: -hugs him-**

**Sky: -squeals louder-**

**Ed: -blush darkens- E-Envy…?**

**Envy: Shh… -kisses him-**

**Ed: -pulls him closer and it turns into a make-out session-**

**Sky: -squeals loud enough for them to hear and covers her mouth- -jumps up and down excitedly-**

**Al: -sees Ed and Envy making out- O.O**

**Envy: -sees him and tackles/glomps him-**

**Ed: -runs away crying again-**

**Havoc: -while all this is going on- -sneaks up behind Riza and kisses her- -runs away- Please don't kill me!!**

ed:once again,go around yelling "HEY LOOK AT ME! I'M EDWARD ELRIC, AND I ADMIT THAT I'M THE SMALLEST ALCHEMIST IN AMESTRIS! I'M THE PINT-SIZED, BEAN-SPROUT MIDGET OF THE MILITARY! WH00T!" while running away from the evil milk.

Roy:Try to feed Ed milk saying "every time i act stupid,a bunny slams his head in the ground,so i have killed many bunnys" while he runs around saying it while you r being shot behind you by riza and the black-hayate squad chasing after you on your sides.

riza:Shoot behind roy's feet while calling him a baka.

al:use ed's credit card to buy stuff for ur kitties 8D

hinatachidori87

**Ed: -whines- Why…?**

**Sky: Well, we wouldn't know would we? If the reader asks for it, then it must be done!**

**Ed: -mumbles something inaudible and takes a deep breath- HEY LOOK AT ME! I'M EDWARD ELRIC, AND I ADMIT THAT I'M THE SMALLEST SHRIMP ALCHEMIST IN AMESTRIS! I'M THE PINT-SIZED, BEAN-SPROUT PIPSQUEAK MIDGET OF THE MILITARY! WH00T! –runs away from the milk-**

**All: …**

**Roy: -grabs him and smirks down at him- So you finally admit it, huh pipsqueak?**

**Ed: -growls- Shut up, bastard**

**Roy: -somehow gets a gallon of milk and forces Ed's mouth open- Now drink this. –ignores Ed's muffled protests- 'Every time I act stupid, a bunny slams his head in the ground, so I have killed many bunnies'…so what the hell is that supposed to mean?**

**Al: -throws a rock at him- I knew it! Bunny killer!**

**Roy: Huh?**

**Ed: -struggles out of his grip and glares at him, points an accusing finger- All along you were killing bunnies?! And here I thought I could trust you!**

**Roy: W-wait a minute! What the hell are you talking about?! I didn't kill any bunnies!**

**Ed: Don't say their name or they will hunt you down and kill you! -throws a bunch of rocks at him-**

**Riza: You baka taisa! -shoots at him but misses- Get him, Black Hayate!**

**Black-Hayate squad: -barks and chases after him-**

**Roy: HAVE YOU ALL LOST YOUR EVER-LOVING MINDS?! -screams like a little girl when a dog bites him and runs away- What the hell did I do to you?!**

**Ed: Everything, you (censored) bastard!**

**Al: -takes Ed's credit card and smiles evilly- Now I can do whatever I want with it…**

**All: …**

This is too funny! Sorry, Ed, this is going to be harsh.  
Roy: I dare you to make out with Winry while Ed is tied to a chair.  
Ed: Endure short comments again!! Then do anything you please to them. I must get this out of my system. You're short and are a shrimp.  
Envy: I hate you still because you killed Hughes! You must take care of my EVIL cat, Shredder and turn into a catpost for her.  
Havoc: Make out with Riza until the end of the chapter.  
Breda: Go in a room full of dogs and you can't run away.

Jrockonhigh

**Ed: …I knew it.**

**Sky: -ties him to a chair and brings Roy and Whiny…**_**I mean **_**Winry over- Make out with each other…though I wish I didn't have to see this…**

**Roy/ Winry: -make out-**

**Ed: Agh, my eyes!**

**Sky: It burns! Oh the horror of the RoyxWinry pairing! Gaaaah! The only pairing that makes sense is RoyxEd!**

**Ed: -manages to untie himself and runs away crying- -is called short many many times- Can I _please_ murder someone now?**

**Sky: -waits a moment before answering- Sure, go ahead**

**Ed: -evil grin- And I'm not short, dammit!**

**Sky: I never said that**

**Ed: I know _YOU_ didn't…_YOU_ were definitely thinking it…but the _READER_ on the other hand…**

**Sky: Now, now, Edward, don't go killing anyone…**

**Ed: But **_**you**_** said I could…**

**Sky: I **_**meant**_** the characters on your show…_not_ the readers…**

**Ed: -glares and stomps off- That's no fun!**

**Sky: …**

**Envy: Well, you know what?! I don't (censored) care so back off! –sticks out tongue-**

**Havoc: -is making out with Riza-**

**Sky: -puts handcuffs on Breda's hands and throws him in a room full of dogs, attaching him to the wall-**

**Breda: -screams like a little girl-**

Voltra here! Now, what to do...

Ed, I have a device that translates animal to human language, that chicken over there called you short! Kick it!!

Roy: Jump in a lake. I like you, but I can't think of anything else. Sorry. (Hey, it could be worse!)

Al: I has a homeless black kitty. Would you take it in? (FYI, I just got more ideas, so Edo will be too busy too notice! I'll bring them in next chapter.)

Envy: You rock. My friend loves your hair... run, she's gunna noogie... I dare you to... hand over Lust! Don't ask, just hand her over! Nice skort.

Winry: You'd think someone with the word 'win' would have more fans... but karma's a . Drop your wrenches in water and watch them rust.

Wrath: Come with me, o cute one, for I have chocolate-growing trees...

Riza: I'll be nice to you. For now. Find the closest gun and... use me for target practice! (puts on targets) Please don't miss...

Voltra the Lively

**Ed: What?! Now a (censored) chicken is calling me short?! Oh, I'll do more than kick it! I'll beat the (censored)(censored) out of it! MAIM! KILL! MAIM! KILL!! **

**Roy: But I don't wanna jump in a lake**

**Sky: -glares and cracks knuckles-**

**Roy: -gulps and jumps in lake, begins to cry- What could worse than this…?**

**Sky: I wouldn't ask if I were you**

**Roy: -sniffles- Uh?**

**Sky: -smirks evilly-**

**Roy: -shudders-**

**Al: Oooh, a kitty! Can I have it, please?! Please, please, please?! –glances at Ed who is now laughing at Roy- I guess now I can have it! YAY!**

**Envy: Thanks… -grabs Lust and gives her to Voltra- There you go. I don't want her anymore**

**Lust: Envy, what the hell is going on?! And what the (censored) do you mean you don't want me?!**

**Envy: Uh…I don't want you…it can't be more simple than that**

**Lust: -glares- I'm going to kill you whenever I get out of this**

**Envy: -gulps- A-all right, I'll be looking forward to that…not really**

**Lust: I can't wait to stab you and kill you and— -is dragged away-**

**Envy: -laughing nervously and sweatdrops-**

**Winry: D-drop my wrenches in the water?! B-but why?!**

**Sky: DO IT ALREADY, DAMMIT! STOP WHINING! **

**Winry: -jumps and nods quickly- -drops wrenches in the water and starts to cry-**

**Sky: …Crybaby**

**Wrath: CHOCOLATE! I MUST HAVE SOME! WHERE IS THE CHOCOLATE?! –laughs crazily as he launches himself into a tree and starts gnawing on the branch-**

**Riza: Thank you for being nice to me…for now, huh? I guess I can use you as target practice…I've been wanting to shoot someone…**

**All: O.O**

_A/N: I apologize, but that's all I can do with my time stretched out. Again, if none of your reviews made it in this chapter and you would still like to see a response to it then please send it to me and I promise that I will put it in the next chapter. See you there!_


	9. Chapter 8

_Hey, everyone. It's been so long since you've seen a new chapter, hasn't it? I'm so sorry that it always takes this long to update this, but I have had so much schoolwork that I had no time to go on the computer. Sorry, sorry. –smacks herself with a squirrel-_

Ed: Down boy! I have made your point! Oh, next dare is to... uhm... GET IN A PLAYBOY OUTFIT A FLIRT WITH EVERY MALE IN THE ROOM! BWAHAHAHAHA! Oh, and my friend says 'Hi! Don't feel bad. I'm short too.'.

Roy Mustard: Here, have a towel. hands him towel Now get into this. hands him A TINY MINISKIRT! XD I'm evil, no?

Al: I would have kept for myself, but I'm allergic. DX Do not want! So, how many cats do you have?

Envy: Oh, thanks! ties up Lust's hands, runs off with Lust and comes back Let's see, a dare for you is... turning into Winry for an hour!

Winry: Look! You have a twin!! Kiss her!! XD

Wrath: CHOCOLATE OVER HERE!! points at box adressed to me

Riza: You know, I can be kind for a while. tosses her a gun Here you go. I hope I don't.

**Ed: I'm glad I made my point. And what is this about a…playboy? Are you (censored) kidding me?! I am not gonna flirt with anyone! You can't make me!**

**Sky: -rolls eyes- Always must be the difficult one, are we?**

**Ed: That's only because you threaten _every_ single damn person here with milk getting shoved down their throats!**

**Sky: -in a dangerous voice- Do you want that to happen to you?**

**Ed: -in a small voice- …N-no. Please.**

**Sky: -smiles- That's better. Now do the dare or you will face the consequences of…uh…AHA! –points a finger at him- Fear the wrath of the milk that shall be spilt on you and taketh overth youeth! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!**

**Ed: …She has officially lost it**

**Al: Eh, I think you should do it nii-san**

**Ed: Nuh-uh! No way! Who's side are you on?! There is no way in hell that I am letting that crazy author control me!**

**Sky: Heheh too late**

**Ed: -glares- -mumbles- Fine. –goes around to flirt with every man on the show which earns him weird looks- This is gonna give me nightmares for the rest of my life**

**Roy: Uh please know that you have spelled my name wrong. My name is not Mustard…though it fits rather nicely…I like mustard... _ANYWAY_, what would I do with a towel? I mean honestly…change behind it?**

**Sky: -is suddenly back to normal- That's the idea**

**Roy: Do you have any idea how ridiculously childish that is?**

**Sky: Uh-huh. Do you**** have any idea how childish _you_**** are?**

**Roy: -TT- I'm not a kid**

**Sky: Sure. Then why do you act like an idiot?**

**Roy: -TT-**

**Sky: ATTACK OF THE MINISKIRT! –throws the really small miniskirt at him- CATCH OR DIE! MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!!**

**Roy: -catches it and stares at it- What do I do with this?**

**Sky: You wear it of course!**

**Roy: What is with everyone always wanting to ruin my reputation?! I get no love around here!**

**Sky: Of course you don't**

**Roy: -glares- You're evil you know that?**

**Sky: I know. I'm _eeeeeeeeeeeeeevil_. –laughs crazily-**

**Roy: -backs away- **

**Al: That's too bad that you're allergic. I'm sorry. How many cats do I have? Let's see…Mister Fluff is 1… Missy Kitty is 2… Snowball is 3… Firetail is 4… -counts on his fingers-**

**Envy: I DON'T WANNA TURN INTO THAT BITCHY SLUT FOR AN HOUR! NO! _NO_! ****_NO_****! YOU CANNOT MAKE ME! I AM SUPERIOR TO YOU IN _EVERY WAY_!**

**Sky: -pokes him with a laser gun- Do it. Now. –growls dangerously- Or no more killing.**

**Envy: -jumps up and transforms into Winry- -shivers- There. I feel horrible. How do I look?**

**Sky: You look delightfully _ugly_**

**Envy: …**

**Winry: I have a twin?! Where?! Show me! –runs around looking for twin and runs into a wall-**

**Sky: -cough_idiot_****coughcough- She's over there… -points at Envy-**

**Envy: -looks horrified- I do _not_ want her near me! Get away!**

**Winry: TWIN! –glomps-**

**Envy: WAH! –falls over-**

**Sky: Now you have to kiss!**

**Winry & Envy: WHAT?!**

**Envy: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR (censored) MIND?!**

**Winry: I swear you get even more insane with every chapter!**

**Sky: ****Maybe I am insane, maybe I'm not...whichever you prefer. Anyway, why don't you two just shut the hell up and kiss? **

**Envy & Winry: -glare at each other and kiss-**

**Wrath: CHOCOLATE!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!**

**All: -back away cautiously-**

**Wrath: _HA_!!**

**Sky: …Should I even dare to give him chocolate?**

**Wrath: -pouts cutely- But I _likey_ the chocolate**

**Sky: NOT THAT FACE! Dammit, he's using his cuteness against me! Grr… -glares at Wrath and reluctantly gives him the chocolate- -backs away-**

**Wrath: WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!**

**Riza: I believe that you can be kind. Thank you for the gun. –smiles-**

rub her silver eyes So its near midnight... That mean I have neko ears, tail and wisker-like marks on cheeks... and realy bad gramar... laugh  
This is great! I can not wait to make somebody to look stupid! evil smirk  
So Ed... I dare you... stand next to him ... Uh? looks on him WHAT! point on Ed How dare you be taller than me! Im 17 and you... uh... 15 I think... sulks in emo corner This is just not fair...  
Roy... I want your gloves! Please! cry Im pyro... ups Did I say it loud... Mwuhahahahah! laugh insanely  
shouts RIZA! Can I lend one of yours guns and shoot somebody? Pretty please?! kitty-cat eyes  
This one is for you Al. hugs him Will you pet me? Please? watery eyes  
Envy are you cros dressing? Or are you just plain gay? Im realy confused... and are you boy or girl (can not tell) XD  
And Ed... Milk dont make ppl grow taller... trust me I drink it every day... -- and Im... ... ... uh... ... ... I CAN NOT TELL IT! starts to cry TTTT  
Thanks for ansvers... hugs you all and gives everybody cookie  
P.S.: Winry... -- Will you finaly stop acting like idiot? You make us blondies (Im dirty blonde ov

Hoples

**Ed: WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'M FINALLY TALLER THAN SOMEONE WHO'S TWO YEARS OLDER THAN ME! WH00T! **

**Winry: Edward, don't be mean!**

**Ed: Who say's I have to listen you, Winry?! You're not my mother!**

**Winry: Thank god for that.**

**Ed: What the hell is that supposed to mean, huh?! You still can't order me around!!**

**Sky: Maybe she**** can't, but _I_**** can. –laughs evilly-**

**Ed & Winry: -back away-**

**Roy: So you want to borrow my gloves, eh? I do welcome you as a fellow pyro, but the answer is NO. The last time I let someone borrow my gloves—cough_theshrimp_coughcough--****_he_ destroyed a building…so I'm afraid that the answer is no.**

**Ed: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING A SHRIMP?!**

**Riza: Eh…depends on who you want to shoot. But I guess I can lend you them. –smiles-**

**Al: You're a kitty cat! Yay, I'm so happy! –glomps Hoples-**

**Envy: …**

**Sky: You know you have to answer, Envy**

**Envy: …No. I refuse.**

**Sky: -rolls eyes- Do you want a cookie? **

**Envy: -looks at her quickly with big shining eyes- You have cookies?**

**Sky: Yep. But you can only have one if you answer your question.**

**Envy: -pouts- Oh fine. No, I am not cross-dressing. Don't you know sexy when you see it? And I'm not gay. Never have, never will…I think. **

**Sky: -squeals loudly-**

**Envy: Shut up! I'm not gay! **

**Sky: Then why did you kiss Ed, huh huh huh? I want to know**

**Envy: -growls and blushes- That is none of your business, human! -calms down and clears throat- Anyway, I'M A (censored) BOY, GODDAMMIT! I AM NOT A (censored) GIRL WHO LOOKS LIKE A (censored)(censored) PALMTREE!**

**Ed: Thank you for agreeing. Milk is disgusting and useless**

**Sky: Said from someone who only likes milk if it's in stew**

**Ed: Shut the hell up! That's the only way I'll _EVER_ drink milk!**

**Sky: -smirks- Oh really? –gets a gallon of milk from nowhere and forces it down his throat- _There's_ another way**

**Winry: I'm not an idiot!**

**Sky: -is still forcing milk down Ed's throat- You sure about that?**

**Winry: Well…I…uh…**

**Sky: See?**

**Winry: …I hate you**

**Silver candle: -grins- Don't care**

**Winry: T-T**

Ed: Lessee... Listen to everything Mustang says in this chapter. Short comments and flirting included.

Roy: -hands bottle of Veritaserum stolen from Harry Potter- Drink this and answer me. Are you in love with Edward?

Envy: -hands crappy, OOC, clichèd fanfiction about him and Ed- Read this without hurting anyone

SteelRose Alchemist

**Ed: Aw…do I have to?**

**Sky: Yes, you do. You know you want to**

**Ed: … -walks away and follows Roy around-**

**Roy: Why are you following me?**

**Ed: -stares at him-**

**Roy: Uh…Ed?**

**Ed: -continues to stare-**

**Roy: Um…Edward, this is getting a bit creepy…why are you staring at me like that?!**

**Ed: -blinks and walks away-**

**Roy: …O-kay, that was random**

**Sky: …You have no idea –blinks and brings out the Veritarserum and forces it down his throat- Now this is what the reader and I want to know: Do you like Ed?**

**Roy: -blinks sleepily and nods- Yes I love Edward. I love him so much that I can't stand it**

**Sky: -grins evilly- And is your name Colonel Useless?**

**Roy: No…but that—HEY! MY NAME IS NOT COLONEL USELESS, DAMMIT!**

**Sky: I wouldn't be so sure about that**

**Roy: -glares-**

**Sky: -hands Envy aforementioned fanfic story- Do you read? I have a suggestion for you. –backs away and covers ears-**

**Envy: -blinks- Uh, thanks I guess. –starts to read- WHAT THE (censored) HELL IS UP WITH THIS (censored) PIECE OF (censored) STORY?! WHOEVER WROTE THIS COMPLETELY (censored)(censored) PERVERTED! I AM NOT LIKE THAT WITH EDO!**

**Sky: -shakes head- That's not what I hear**

**Envy: No, that's not—what I mean is—just—SHUT THE HELL UP AND NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN! –goes into emo corner and sulks-**

Ed: I know this is random but hug Al and say "I shall call him squishy and he shall be mine."  
Roy: Hug Ed and say the same.  
Hughes: Take pictures of this and keep them as blackmail  
Envy: Transform into a scratching post and let Al's kitties scratch you.  
Scar: Marry one of your fangirls. You can't divorce or kill them.  
Riza: After Envy's done being a scratching post, use him for target practice.  
That is all. X3

Jrockonhigh

**Ed: Yay! Hug Al! –runs around and glomps Al- I shall call him squishy and he shall be mine! _Mine_! All mine!**

**Al: …?**

**Roy: What if someone else wants to hug…?**

**Ed: No! He's _my_ squishy! You can't have him!**

**Al: Can you please not talk about me as if I'm not here?**

**Ed: Yay, squishy spoke his first words!**

**Al: … -sighs in exasperation-**

**Roy: -glomps Ed- I shall call him squishy and he shall be mine**

**Ed: No I already have a squishy! I can't be a squishy! WAH!!**

**Al: …**

**Hughes: -runs around taking pictures- **

**Envy: And why should I become a scratching post?**

**Ed: SQUISHY!**

**Sky: …That's why**

**Envy: -glares- That's not a reason**

**Sky: Sure it is. Do you want Ed to glomp you and call you squishy…?**

**Envy: Eh…no, I don't**

**Ed: -glomps Envy- YOU ARE MY SQUISHY!**

**Envy: GAH! –falls over-**

**Sky: -drags Ed off him- Transform, now…or I shall unleash the beast... –pets Ed's head- ...unto you**

**Envy: -backs away and immediately transforms into scratching post- -instantly Al's many cats tackle him and scratch him-**

**Sky: -laughs at his misery-**

**Envy: -lunges at her-**

**Sky: Eep! –runs behind Ed-**

**Envy: -is attacked by Al's cats again- **

**Scar: Fine. Marry me. –points to one girl-**

**Random girl: O.O…Yes, of course!**

**Riza: -runs towards Envy and rescues him from the cats- -brings out her gun and shoots at him-**

**Envy: -runs away-**

_A/N: That's all I can write for now. I apologize for those reviews that didn't get into this chapter, but this is all I could write with my now restricted time. See you next chapter!_

_Ed: Bye now, my squishies!_

_Roy: Will you shut up with that?!_

_Ed: NO! –glomps Roy-_

_Sky & Al: -waves-_


	10. Chapter 9

_Hello again. I'm sorry that it's always so long between chapters but I always have a ton of homework so I can't get on the computer. Now I'm updating only because I'm sick and stayed home from school._

_Enjoy!_

WOOT! THIS STORY IS SO COOL! :D

Roy: ROY! -glomps- How could I possibly dare something so horrible on someone so HOT?!

Edward: Even though your a cute small kitty, you are not as hot as THE FLAME! I dare you to be tied down to a chair and watch educational TV! THE HORROR!

Izumi: I dare you not to smack/maime/kill/beat anyone for the rest of this chapter!

Winry: DIE!

Spottedstar, leader of windclan

**Roy: Heheh…finally someone admits I'm hot…**

**Ed: For now anyway**

**Roy: Eh?**

**Ed: Nothing. –mumbles under his breath- Egotistical bastard. –shouts now- And when the _hell_ was I a cat?!**

**Sky: Be a cat! Be a cat! For me! Please?! –pouts-**

**Ed: NO WAY IN HELL!**

**Sky: -glares and ties him to a chair- Now you have to watch… educational TV! LE GASP, THE HORROR!**

**Ed: Huh?**

**Sky: -turns on the TV and walks away- **

**Ed: -stares after her and turns to TV- -a few moments later- AGH MY EYES! THEY'RE BURNING! TURN THE DAMN THING OFF! TURN THE (censored) THING OFF, DAMMIT!**

**Izumi: Heheheh finally… -grins evilly at the other characters-**

**All: … -runs away screaming-**

**Izumi: MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! –has a huge knife and runs after them-**

**Winry: -is stabbed brutally to death-**

**Sky: Heheheh…now the bitch is finally dead…**

**Ed: -stares in horror-**

Okay, Ed, Roy. I'll leave you alone this chapter. Rest up for the rest of the questions, whatever they may be. (Roy, I was testing to see if you were paying attention when I mixed up your name last chapter.)

Black Hayate: Woof, bark bark bark yip? (Well, what's your comment on the odd behavior of the humans?)

Gluttony: Lust says to try to eat Mustang.

Voltra the Lively

**Ed: Good**

**Roy: Were you really? Did you think that I was that unobservant?**

**Ed: Yes**

**Roy: -glares- Was I asking you?**

**Ed: -grins back- Apple pie!**

**Roy: -rolls eyes-**

**Hayate: Bark! (These humans are strange!) Yip yip woof! (At least they feed me!) Woof woof! Yip bark bark! Aroo! (I like to lick people's faces and steal their food! They chase after me but they can never catch me! I didn't know they were that slow!)**

**Roy: -is somehow able to understand him- Hey! I'm not slow! You're the one who steals my paperwork and then Hawkeye blames me for losing it!**

**Hayate: -tongue rolls out and wags tail- -runs to him and licks his face-**

**Roy: AGH DOG SLOBBER! GET AWAY FROM ME YOU CRAZY MUTT!**

**Riza: -shoots gun at him- SHUT THE HELL UP TAISA-BAKA!!**

**Roy: O.O...y-yes ma'am... -cowers behind desk chair-**

**Gluttony: Eat Mustang! –leaps at him-**

**Roy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! –runs away screaming forgetting that he can use his flame alchemy- **

**Gluttony: -chases after him-**

**Riza: -sighs- Useless idiot**

**Roy: I heard that, Hawkeye!**

**Riza: -shoots at him-**

**Roy: -screams in pain-**

Heh, great story, love how this is all going.

Ed, go with Roy into a bedroom...and lock it from the outside.  
Riza, go join them winks  
Al, I want you to watch a movie where a comet or meteor kills all the cats in the world...then watch a two hour clip of cat corpses.  
Scar, give Wrath a chocolate chip cookie then go watch a flim where Ed beats you continuasly.

This gives a lot of imagination to the author, have fun with it

(ZNO)

**Ed: W-what…?**

**Roy: -grins- Come on, shrimp. –grabs him around the waist and carries him to the room-**

**Ed: H-hey! Let go of me you bastard! Al! **

**Al: …?**

**Ed: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO—!! -the door slams shut- -screams are heard from inside- RAPE!!**

**Riza: -slips into the room and shuts the door- -gunshots are heard-**

**Al: -blinks- Uh what was that all about?**

**Sky: -evil grin- Nothing you need to know about**

**Al: -blinks-**

**Sky: Oh! You have a dare! –ties him to a chair and starts the movie-**

**Al: What's this?**

**Sky: -doesn't say anything and starts the movie, walks away-**

**Al: -stares at the screen for a total of five minutes before he starts to scream and cry- No not the kitties!**

**Sky: -stands behind him and has to stop herself from hugging him-**

**Scar: -cautiously gives Wrath some chocolate and backs away-**

**Wrath: Yay chocolate! –bounces around- WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!**

**Sky: -grabs Scar and ties him to a chair, starts the film- -grins evilly- Have fun, Scar-san**

**Scar: -glares at her- I'm not weak!**

**Sky: -grins back and walks away-**

AGH what's all this kissy stuff?!  
Lessee who do I hate...This is kindof hard because the one I hate is in the manga and not many people read it...  
ALRIGHT! Edo-kun, I dare you to slice up Noah (uhh what's her last name) into pieces BECAUSE SHE IS AN EVIL LITTLE #& MARY SUE WHO STOLE YOU AWAY FROM ME!! is shot And yes you have to do it otherwise I will force-feed you spoiled milk and then drop you into a pit full of angry kitties!  
Envy, transform into Arnold Schwarzenagger and order people to read the FMA manga!

Skitty Kat Girl

**Ed: I agree!**

**Roy: Aw Edo-kun don't tell me you don't like it…**

**Ed: -blushes-**

**Sky: Oooh could you tell me who you hate? I read the manga so I'm pretty sure I would know who you were talking about!**

**Ed: -blinks- Hey! Wait a second! Why should I hurt Noa?!**

**Sky: Didn't she betray you? I don't like her either because she's a bitchy whore who deserves to _die_!!**

**Ed: -glares- She only did that because she wanted to go somewhere she would be accepted!**

**Sky: Well it looks like she isn't**

**Ed: -turns away- I'm not going to do it**

**Sky: Oh really? Now what was it the reader said? Oh yes…she said she will force-feed you spoiled milk if you didn't do it**

**Ed: -twitches-**

**Sky: So it's either that or drinking spoiled milk**

**Ed: -looks back over shoulder to glare angrily- Oh fine****! –stalks over to Noah and transmutes his automail into a blade- Hey um Noa?**

**Noa: Yes, Edward?**

**Ed: -stabs her and runs away-**

**Sky: -mutters- Coward**

**Ed: -appears out of nowhere and stabs her- I just don't like milk okay?! I'll do anything if there's not milk involved! **

**Sky: -miraculously recovers-**

**Ed: O.O**

**Sky: -grins- Now what were you saying?**

**Ed: Uh...n-nothing... –backs away and trips-**

**Envy: -is watching this with a bored look on his face- -transforms into Arnold Schwarzenagger- Read the FullMetal Alchemist manga! But only read the parts with me in it!**

**Sky: -hits him upside the head- No don't listen to him. Read all of the manga because it's just as good as the anime –smiles-**

So here am I again. More random than before and ready to humiliate somebody... -insert insane laugh-  
Ed can you transmutate me some weapons? I love weapons! -squeal-  
Roy you must lend me those gloves! I must put our school at fire! Our teache is skining us alive I tell that is Hell!  
Riza dont worry I will just shoot Envy. -aim on Envy and shoot. Winry falls on floor dead- Dam it... I mus my aiming practise... but servs her right... -grins-  
Envy but you are palmtree! And cross-dresser.. I saw you at gay bar... Dont ask me why I was there...  
Winry... You are stupid and hopeless... I dont get it why Ed loves you when he and Colonel are better pairing -winks-  
And one more thing... -hugs Ed and kiss him- I love you Ed!

Hoples

**Ed: More random? Is that even possible?**

**Sky: Yep!**

**Ed: And do I have to transmute weapons?**

**Sky: Yes you do**

**Ed: As long as I can use them on someone I really hate I'll do it**

**Sky: Okay! Yay weapons!**

**Ed: -transmutes the weapons and aims a gun at Envy- -shoots him in the head- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!HELL YEAH!!**

**Sky: … -shakes head- -mutters- He needs help...as soon as possible...**

**Ed: I love weapons too!**

**Roy: …Uh I know that someone else pleaded to borrow my gloves but I can't trust anyone else with them after a certain _shrimp_**** destroyed one of the military buildings accidentally**

**Ed: WHO THE (censored) HELL ARE YOU CALLING SO (censored) SMALL HE CAN'T HEAR A (censored) WORD THAT COMES OUT OF YOUR (censored)(censored) MOUTH?!**

**Roy: … -blinks- **

**Ed: It was**** an accident you (censored) bastard (censored) and you (censored) know it! So don't try to tell me it wasn't, you (censored) asshole!**

**Sky: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Such language...**

**Ed: WELL WHAT ABOUT YOU HUH?! _YOU_ HAVE A MOTHER DON'T YOU?! **

**Sky: Sure maybe I do swear but not as violently as you**

**Ed: -fumes-**

**Sky: Calm down…or you'll wear yourself out, _midget_**

**Ed: WHO THE (censored) HELL ARE YOU CALLING SO (censored) SMALL HE GETS WORN OUT (censored) EASILY FROM THE (censored)(censored) STUPID PEOPLE HE'S AROUND?! I'M NOT A (censored) MIDGET!**

**Sky: -puts tape over his mouth-**

**Envy: … -twitches- How did you—I mean, no I wasn't. I'm not gay so how could you see me there? –shifty eyes-**

**Winry: I'm not stupid! Or hopeless!**

**Sky: I wouldn't be so sure of that…**

**Winry: -glares- Well Ed does love me and I love him…why are people denying this?**

**Sky: YOU STUPID HOPELESS ROMANTIC FREAK!!**

**Winry: -jumps and blinks- W-what?**

**Sky: CAN'T YOU SEE THAT EDWARD AND ROY ARE TOGETHER?! YOU'RE BLIND TO THINK THAT HE STILL LOVES YOU! GO ROT IN HELL!**

**Winry: T-T**

**Ed: -glares fiercely at whoever approaches him-**

I'm ba-ack! And with more dares! Hehehe...

Riza: Hm...How can you shoot with such accuaracy?! Can you teach me?  
Envy: You are a crossdressing palmtree. A somewhat cute crossdressing palm tree...hug I was on sugar high last time  
Wrath: hug I don't know why, but your cool.  
Roy: Can I borrow your gloves? Theres these two girls who go to my school that need to die. But, if I can't borrow your gloves, come to school with me and kill them please.puppy dog eyes  
Ed: kisses Get a divorce from Roy. RoyxEd is okay on occasion but yeah.  
Winry: I would tell you to go die, but without you, Ed's automail would never get fixed. That's about all your good for though.  
Hughes: Umm... Hi.  
Rose: Love your hair.  
Yeah. That's it for now.

The Random Cookie

**Riza: -smiles- Practice makes perfect. But you should always aim at a pressure point to paralyze your victim…**

**Envy: Somewhat cute? Nuh-uh. I'm more than _cute_. And you know it. –reluctantly hugs TRC back- And one can tell when you're high on sugar, because the _author_ always is…**

**Sky: -grin-**

**Wrath: -hugs back- Yay I'm cool! Can I have some cookies?**

**Envy: No you're not**

**Wrath: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!**

**Sky: Oh good job Envy! Stupid bisexual cross-dressing gender-confused palmtree! –hugs Wrath and gives him a lollipop-**

**Envy: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY THAT I'M (censored) STRAIGHT YOU STUPID HUMAN?!**

**Sky: Because no one believes you**

**Envy: -glares-**

**Roy: No you cannot borrow my gloves but I would recommend using a gun. Less destructive. Besides I would have to pay for any damage**

**Sky & Ed: Cheapskate**

**Roy: -glares- That's Ed not me**

**Sky: Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure, colonel useless**

**Roy: -twitches and snaps fingers- -nothing happens- What the…?**

**Riza: -shoots him-**

**Roy: …I'll gladly kill someone now!**

**Riza: -shoots him again-**

**Ed: Finally I'll be allowed to divorce him! See ya later bastard colonel!**

**Roy: No Ed come back!**

**Ed: -not listening-**

**Sky: You idiot! You just ruined the perfect relationship**

**Roy: It's not my fault!**

**Sky: Actually it is**

**Roy: T-T**

**Winry: B-but…I can do other things! Besides automail**

**Sky: Yeah like what? Being stupid?**

**Winry: Uh…**

**Sky: Exactly**

**Winry: -glares-**

**Sky: -throws wrench at her and knocks her out-**

**Hughes: Hello! It's been a while since anyone's ever asked me anything! Would you like to see some pictures of Elicia?!**

**Sky: -hits him with wrench also and steals pictures- -tries to put them in fire-**

**Hughes: -wakes up and leaps towards her- No my precious pictures! **

**Sky: O.O –drops pictures and runs away-**

**Rose: Thank you. –smiles-**

My first dare for the characters!!  
Ed- I dare you to wear the military uniform. It's sexy on you.  
Al- "Nyaa" like a cat (idk, I just always wanted to hear Al say that)  
Roy- I dare you to finish all your paperwork in less than one hour. No breaks!  
Winry- Throw away every wrench and screwdriver you own, then die. I don't care how, just die.

Thank you!!

Ria Hikari

**Ed: -smug smirk- Oh I look sexy do I?**

**Roy: Obviously**

**Ed: -glares- If your trying to get me back it won't work**

**Roy: …**

**Ed: -changes into military uniform- I like it. I should wear this more**

**Roy: -stares at him and drools-**

**Ed: -throws wrench at him and knocks him to the ground- Bastard**

**Al: -pops out of nowhere- Nyaa!**

**Ed: ?! –jumps back and falls on the ground- Dammit Al don't do that!**

**Al: Nyaa! Sorry brother! **

**Ed: Uh…why are you saying that?**

**Al: Nyaa! I have no idea but I like the word! –runs after a small kitten-**

**Ed: …Nyaa? What the hell does that mean anyway? -shakes head- But maybe I don't want to know...**

**Roy: -sits at desk depressed and picks up pen- Guess I have a ton of work to do… I don't want to do this but maybe I can make a new record**

**Ed: Here. I'll help you, colonel bastard.**

**Roy: -blinks-**

**Ed: Don't think anything of it. I just owe you a lot and thought that I could help**

**Roy: Um, thanks…FullMetal**

**Ed: -nods-**

**Winry: NOOOOO NOT MY TOOLS! MY PRECIOUS CHILDREN! PLEASE ANYTHING BUT THAT!**

**Sky: Do it or I'll make you!**

**Winry: -throws them away as she cries-**

**Sky: -stabs her to death-**

I'm back again and I love seeing Ed glomp Al and Roy! I can't think of too many dares but there are a few. And has anyone noticed that Envy looks like a palm tree?

Ed: I still think you are the best character. So, transmute a giant cannon and aim at anyone that's tortured you in any way.  
Roy: Help Ed. Besides flames and cannons go together.  
Al: Try reading a incest fanfic. There not as bad as they seem.  
To everyone else: Rip Pride apart limb from limb.  
jrockonhigh. XD

**Ed: -evil grin- Squishy…**

**Al & Roy: -twitch-**

**Ed: Just kidding! And yeah of course I'm the best character! Wh00t! –transmutes the cannon and aims at the other characters- MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!**

**All: RUN AWAY! **

**(Winry, Rose, Noa, Izumi, Havoc, Dante, Envy, Lust, and Hohenheim are blown up)**

**Roy: -joins him and smiles evilly-**

**Ed: -grins-**

**(multiple people are blown up)**

**Al: Read an incest fic? Is that the one when me and brother are together? I guess I can try… -grabs a random one and reads-**

**All: -comes back and circles Pride- -leap on him and tear him apart-**

**Ed: -jumps off cannon and lands on Pride's back- WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! REVENGE IS MINE!!**

I think...  
Scar: Kill Winry as well as the fangirl he ended up with.  
Breda: confront his fears and jump into a pit full of small dogs.  
These are the only two I have right now, and I liked the squishy dare that Ed and Roy did.

pyromaniacal emo

**Sky: AHA! My partner in crime! Right right? WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Kill Winry!**

**Scar: -sneaks up behind Winry and blows her apart-**

**Ed: -watches with wide eyes- But…why would you do that?**

**Sky: You don't care about her remember?**

**Ed: Oh yeah… -blinks- What was I doing here again? **

**Sky: No idea. –gives him book to read-**

**Breda: Aw b-but I'll be killed by those mangy mutts!**

**Sky: Do you have any idea how ridiculously childish you are for being scared of dogs****? You're in the (censored) military for crying out loud! Damn!**

**Breda: -takes a deep breath and jumps in the pit- -a second later- AAAAAAAAAAAH! GET ME OUT OF HERE! I'M GOING TO GET RABIES!**

**Sky: -rolls eyes- **

**Ed: SQUISHY WILL RETURN!**

Great story

Wrath: Can I have a hug? I'll give you sugar if you do

Envy: I dare you to...make out with my OC Maria Maria is sitting in a corner reading "How to get back your Fighting Gloves from a Blonde Haired Pipsqueak with Automail named Edward Elric"

Sloth: I dare you to kiss Greed

Winry: You're awesome, so I dare you to...eat chocolate!

Edward: I dare you to drink chocolate milk!

Lady Ninja Maria

**Wrath: Hug Maria! Yay! –glomps-**

**Envy: If I do I'll prove that I'm straight all the way!**

**Sky: Then why do I have this picture of you making out with Ed?**

**Envy: -twitches- That's obviously fake so shut up! –walks over to Maria and kisses her-**

**Sloth: -glances at Greed who grins back at her- Must I? I shudder to think who he's kissed previously**

**Greed: Oh come on, kiss me babe –kisses her-**

**Winry: Yay! I'm finally accepted! Take that!**

**Sky: -shudders- Winry fangirl… AGH THEY'RE ALL OVER THE PLACE! MAKE THEM GO AWAY! –spazzes-**

**Winry: -rolls eyes- -eats chocolate-**

**Ed: I do like chocolate but it has milk in it and if I drink chocolate milk I don't think I'll like it. –eats a piece of chocolate- -jumps up and down in place-**

Well, I'm feeling REALLY bisexual right now (After all, I AM!) And I'm sugar high! WE! HERE YOU ARE:

Ed: Kill the next 500 people who call you short. Yes, that must be your favorite dream

Al: While Ed is in a stupor of happiness, get thirty kitties. And keep em.

Roy: Change your first name to But, and your middle name to I'm. Then, your full name will be: "But I'm Useless".

Riza: Read an Ed/Riza fic. You'll stab your eyes out.

Winry: -huggles- I'm sowwy for all the mean peoples. And me. I dare you to force-feed Ed milk then allow him to do whatever he wants to hurt you after.

Scar: I dare you to call all Ishbalans losers and moon them, saying they can suck your .

Lust: YOU RULE! YAYS!

All Homonculi: I dare you... TO KILL DANTE!

Dante: You're not allowed to do anything while they are killing you.

Have a nice day. Unfortunately for you all, I will be back, and CONTROLLING YOU IN A STORY! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

FallenAngel Kit

**Ed: -evil grin- Oh you have no idea **

**All: -backs away- **

**Ed: -goes on killing rampage-**

**Al: -sneaks away and gets thirty kitties- -smiles as he names them-**

**Roy: Huh?! But I don't wanna!**

**Sky: Do it anyway!**

**Random person: Did you want to change your name sir?**

**Roy: -glares bloody murder at Sky- Yes. Change my name to But I'm Useless. –mutters- Even though I'm not**

**Sky & random person: I wouldn't be too sure of that**

**Roy: WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE AND ALWAYS CALLING ME USELESS?! **

**Riza: Because it's true**

**Roy: -collapses to the ground- Why is the world so against me?**

**Riza: -sits down on his back and grabs a EdxRiza fic- -starts to read- Hm…not so bad…though I don't think it will ever happen…**

**Ed: What what?**

**Riza: -hides fic behind her back- Nothing, Edward. Just continue on your killing spree. –pauses- I can't believe I just said that…**

**Winry: Thank you. –smiles- Hey Ed! Come here for a sec!**

**Ed: -walks over to her cautiously- What's up? You just interrupted my killing, you know**

**Winry: -smiles innocently- I know. –walks towards him and hugs him-**

**Ed: ? –hugs her back-**

**Winry: -suddenly a gallon of milk appears in her hand and she forces it down his throat-**

**Ed: NOOO WINRY WHY HAVE YOU BETRAYED ME?!**

**Winry: Sorry Ed it was a dare**

**Ed: -an evil grin spreads across his face- But there's something more to it…**

**Winry: -blinks- Oh? And what would that be?**

**Ed: -stabs her with his automail blade and walks away whistling innocently-**

**Scar: Never! I will never do that to my fellow Ishbalans!**

**Sky: -sneaks up behind him and sticks him with a needle- Now you will!**

**Scar: -is now mentally insane- HEY YOU ISHBALAN LOSERS! SUCK MY ASS! –moons them-**

**Sky: -turns away- This is such a bad image that does that need to be in my head…ooh too late**

**Lust: Thank you. –smiles- I know I do**

**All homunculi: KILL DANTE! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**Dante: -looks up from reading alchemy book and blinks at them- What do you want?**

**Envy: Your soul!**

**Dante: -stares at him-**

**Lust: Envy shut up**

**Envy: No! **

**Wrath: Can we just get this over with?!**

**All homunculi: Right!**

**Dante: -is alarmed- What? **

**All homunculi: -stab her and mutilate her body with their powers- HAHAHAHAHA!**

**Sky: -waves-**

A/N: Yay I'm happy now for updating. And while waiting for the next chapter, it would be wonderful if I could get some more readers for my other stories… please?

Ed: Byebye!

Al: See you next chapter!

Roy: Don't call me useless!

Riza: -shoots him- -smiles- Have a good day everyone


	11. Chapter 10

_Hey again. I'm sorry this took a while, but I have a lot of homework, plus the stupid review in all the classes in which I have an SOL… Also, there was this anonymous flame that really made me think twice about posting the next chapter for this. I was really depressed for a few days because of what it said, but I'm back and will continue writing! I promise! The updates will be once a month for this story._

_To all of the reviewers and readers, thank you so much for all your support (110+ reviews, 2900+ hits, 20+ story alerts, and 25+ faves). I really appreciate it._

_My birthday's today (that was on Monday)! I'm 16! Shout-out to my friend Trish for giving me the really good brownies and the root beer that I'm now eating/drinking! WAHAHAHAHA—cough cough… Uh, yeah, um…just read the chapter, please…_

yeeah! dares!

Ed/Roy- roy must force feed Ed warm milk via baby bottle while holding him like a baby.

Ed/Roy part 2- I dare roy to cut ed's hair as short as it was when he first crossed the gate!

Al- I dare you to sing the emo song. (if you don't know it then watch "how to be a ninja" on youtube)

Sloth- I dare you to treat Ed and Al like they were your little baby boys for at least 2 chapters.

kitties rock!!:3

Ellia-chan

**Ed: HUH?!**

**Roy: -evil grin-**

**Ed: No way in hell am I agreeing to this! Nuh-uh! I'm not a (censored) baby!**

**Roy: -grabs him around the waist and places him on his lap-**

**Ed: HEY! LET ME GO YOU BASTARD (censored)! I WILL DRINK NO MILK AS LONG AS I LIVE!**

**Sky: -can't resist putting a baby bonnet on Ed's head-**

**Ed: GET THIS THING OFF OF ME!**

**Roy: -sticks bottle in his mouth-**

**Ed: -calms down immediately and begins drinking the milk-**

**All: O.O**

**Sky: -collapses on the ground- IT'S THE _APOCALYPSE_! EDWARD ELRIC IS _ACTUALLY_ DRINKING MILK!**

**Ed: -glares- **

**Roy: -discreetly raises a pair of scissors and subtly cuts off Ed's hair-**

**Ed: -spits out bottle- Leave my hair alone, you (censored) bastard!**

**Roy: -isn't listening-**

**Ed: I can't believe I'm about to say this but…Sky, help me!**

**Sky: -says nothing and sticks the bottle back in his mouth, which calms him down-**

**Ed: -mumbles around it- I hate you all**

**Sky: -smiles innocently as she puts baby booties on his feet-**

**Ed: -spits out bottle again- Leave me alone! I'm not a (censored) ba—**

**Sky: -sticks a pacifier in his mouth and puts baby bonnet on his head-**

**Ed: -glares-**

**Al: …You want me to sing the emo song? **

**Sky: Sure**

**Al: … -starts singing-**

**Sloth: -walks up to Roy and looks down at Ed- You look so cute, Edward…would you mind if you stayed like this?**

**Ed: -spits out pacifier- Yes obviously**

**Sloth: I knew you would agree**

**Ed: What a minute, what? What the hell are you talking about?**

**Sloth: -sticks pacifier back in his mouth-**

Chuckles evilly It's a dream come true... to torture all the FMA characters!

Ed: Hm, you must... GIVE ME YOUR ARM TO SELL ON EBAY! AND I LOVE YOU! Glomps Ed

Winry: I hate you. The only thing you're good for is fixing automail. So die.

Al: OMFG! I LOVE YOU TOO! Glomps Al I dare you to rob every pet store of its cats!

Roy: You're ok as a dad to Ed, but not as a lover (I don't like yaoi, no offense). I dare you to give me your gloves to sell on Ebay. AND YOU CAN'T SAY NO! Then treat Ed like your son until I say otherwise!

Envy: I FIN' HATE YOU! YOU KILLED ED! DIE!

Wrath: You're so cute! I wish you were my brother! Go loot a candy store!

Izumi: Damnit, TEACH ME ALCHEMY! AND I WON'T ACCEPT NO FOR AN ANSWER!

I WILL RETURN! MWAHAHAHAHA!

ShadowUchiha13

**Ed: NEVER! I WILL NOT GIVE YOU MY ARM THAT HELPS ME IN MY ALCHEMY JUST SO YOU CAN SELL IT! And uh…what is this Ebay anyway?**

**Sky: It's a place where people sell stuff**

**Ed: Oh so it's a store?**

**Silver candle: Nope**

**Ed: But you just said—**

**Sky: That's not what I meant**

**Ed: …?**

**Silver candle: I knew you wouldn't understand… -mutters- Some child prodigy you are…**

**Ed: I heard that!**

**Sky: Good shrimp boat**

**Ed: WHO THE (censored) HELL ARE YOU CALLIN' SO (censored)—**

**Sky: -sticks the pacifier in his mouth-**

**Winry: Now why does everyone say that? I had someone say that they loved me so why do so many people hate me so much?**

**Sky: Because you're a whiny spoiled brat idiotic bitch who needs to die duh**

**Winry: But whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?**

**Sky: The only thing you're useful for is for fixing Ed's automail and that's it. –hits her with wrench-**

**Al: Um…love you too I guess… As much as I would love to why would I rob a store?**

**Sky: I would love to see this happen**

**Al: But who said I would do it?**

**Sky: Me. I told you. And the reviewer.**

**Al: Uh okay then. –sneaks into pet store and steals the kitties- Yay kitties!**

**Roy: Aw but I love Ed… Wait a minute. We have been over this many times. I will give no one my gloves no matter what they do. And that's final.**

**Sky: Are you sure about that?**

**Roy: Yeah of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?**

**Sky: -evil grin-**

**Roy: -backs away- I don't like that look on your face. What are you planning?**

**Sky: -is holding a huge bucket of water- Do it or I shall dump this on your ego-inflated head**

**Roy: You wouldn't**

**Sky: Yes I would**

**Roy: -glares- And what if I don't?**

**Sky: I shall…force-feed you spoiled milk**

**Roy: -twitches- Not that again**

**Sky: -ignores him- And if that doesn't work…I shall make Ed do his squishy act again**

**Ed: SQUISHY! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!**

**Roy: -shudders-**

**Sky: -evil grin- Well?**

**Roy: Fine. –glares but gives gloves to Shadow- What is Ebay anyway?**

**Envy: Oh really, human? Well do I look like I (censored) care? I hate you too you stupid idiotic (censored) contrite human!!**

**Sky: Do you even know what contrite means?**

**Envy: …No I don't but—okay you know what?! Shut the hell up!**

**Wrath: Yay I would love to be your brother! CANDY! LOOT ZE CANDY STORE! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! –destroys candy store-**

**Izumi: NO DAMMIT! I WILL NOT TEACH ALCHEMY TO SOMEONE WITHOUT TESTING THEM FIRST! …Tell me what 'all is one, one is all' means and I'll consider it**

Yay! More dares! XD :  
Ed- glomp Ok, I dare you to steal Roy's gloves and set people you don't like on fire! Including Winry!  
Roy- I hope the paperwork wasn't too hard for you! Now I dare you to cook a meal for Ed. Preferably void of dairy products.  
Riza- I dare you to shoot Winry.  
Envy- Go to hawaii and hang out with your fellow palm trees.  
Al- buy yourself a hat with kitty ears!! Even if you can't wear it.  
Hughes- Edit all the photos you have of Roy by scribbling moustaches on his face and other stuff.

XD thanks!

Ria Hikari

**Ed: -steals gloves back from previous reviewer- WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! REVENGE IS MINE! –runs around blowing people up-**

**Winry: Ed what the hell—**

**Ed: -blows her up- WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! TAKE THAT YOU (censored) BITCH!**

**Al: -backs away slowly-**

**Roy: -darkly- Oh you have no idea…damn (censored) paperwork**

**Riza: -glares-**

**Roy: Eeep! –hides behind desk- And uh do I really have to cook something for Ed? Without dairy in it?**

**Sky: That's correct!**

**Roy: -pouts- Aw but that won't be fun…oh well**

**Riza: Don't poison Edward**

**Roy: -glares- Thank you lieutenant. Don't jinx me**

**Riza: -rolls eyes-**

**Roy: Hmm…now what can I make Ed that doesn't have anything dairy in it?**

**Sky: Salad? Soup? Bread? _Milk_?**

**Roy: Those might be goo—hey wait a second are you trying to get me killed here?**

**Sky: -innocent smile- Noooooo whatever gave you that idea?**

**Roy: I have my reasons… -mutters- Note to self: never be near Sky ever again. She's crazy**

**Sky: I heard that!**

**Roy: Good!**

**Sky: -raises wrench threateningly-**

**Roy: -backs away with hands held up- Alright alright I'll do my dare…sheesh. Women...**

**Sky: -throws wrench at him-**

**Roy: Gah! Okay, okay! –hurriedly makes dinner-**

**Sky: -thoughtfully- …Some candles, romantic music, and that would make everything perfect!**

**Roy: Huh? What are you plotting?**

**Sky: Oh nothing of your concern. –innocent smile-**

**Roy: -rolls eyes- I'm sure**

**Sky: -discreetly sneaks off after everything is ready-**

**Ed: Okay I was told to meet you here Colo—w-what the hell is this?!**

**Roy: Uh…...….dinner?**

**Ed: -glares- And what is that supposed to mean?**

**Roy: -starts to sweat- Uh um…………...………nothing**

**Ed: -transmutes his automail into blade-**

**Roy: Alright it's a dare! Happy?!**

**Ed: -blinks and then blushes- Uh I guess…**

**Roy: Sit, sit. –pulls out chair for him-**

**Ed: -pauses- Wait a second you're not trying to poison me are you?**

**Roy: Of course not! But if anything tastes or smells funny let me know. Sky might have done something**

**Ed: Oh great. She was here?**

**Roy: I think she's plotting something**

**Ed: She's _always_ plotting something**

**Roy: That's true…**

**Sky: -is hidden in tree outside Roy's house and is squealing as she tapes this-**

**Al: Now while this whole thing is going on and Sky is distracted I'll play the host. Riza-san I believe you have the next dare**

**Riza: -nods and aims gun at Winry- -shoots her and puts gun away-**

**Al: Uh okay…now that's done…um…next?**

**Envy: I'M NOT A (censored) PALMTREE YOU (censored)(censored) HUMAN! HOW MANY (censored) TIMES DO I HAVE TO (censored) SAY IT?! I'M (censored) SEXY AND YOU (censored) KNOW IT!**

**Al: Um yes of course Envy-san**

**Envy: Don't call me –san!**

**Lust: Why? Would you rather have him call you Envy-**_**chan**_**?**

**Envy: DON'T (censored) CALL ME (censored) CHAN!**

**Greed: My, my. What a temper**

**Envy: SHUT THE (censored) HELL UP YOU (censored) FAGGOT!**

**Greed: Look who's talking**

**Envy: -stabs him-**

**Al: … -puts on kitty hat-**

**Sky: -is temporarily distracted and takes many pictures before going back to watching Ed and Roy-**

**Hughes: Oh I've already done that just last night! What perfect timing! It's Roy—with a beard! WAHAHA! –flashes pictures to reviewers-**

Here goes my first try!

Ed: Go around beating up whoever you want (preferably Roy)  
Roy: Go ask Riza out and kiss her. (Sorry, Royai fan) I also liked your favorite pairing. (which was Royai somewhere in there)  
Riza: We all know you like Roy. Face it. And you're my favorite character! glomps  
Envy: I feel sorry for you, always being stuck into, um, interesting pairings. You're still one of my favorites. glomps him as well Thanks for making me laugh!  
Winrey: I know you like Ed, and he likes you. And you aren't that bad of a character; you're actually pretty funny.  
Silver Candle: You rock! Funnies fic I've read in awhile! :D

Nightfall Dragon

**Ed: -sneaks after Roy and beats him up- -laughs evilly- -sneaks up on Envy-**

**Envy: I know you're there pipsqueak**

**Ed: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO HEAR HIS FOOTSTEPS?!**

**Envy: Uh you obviously**

**Ed: -fumes-**

**Envy: -smirks-**

**Roy: -walks towards Riza- Oh Riza my love will you grace your presence with my unworthiness?**

**Riza: -is confused- Colonel? What are you--?**

**Roy: Ssh, don't talk sweetheart.**

**Riza: ?**

**Roy: -kisses her-**

**Hughes: -pops out of nowhere and takes many many many pictures-**

**Roy: -ignores him- Will you go out with me Riza?**

**Riza: -ignores Hughes also- Well sir I do have one thing to say… -her hand caresses his cheek briefly before she pulls her arm back and slaps him across the face- Don't ever kiss me again! –hides face as she walks off-**

**Roy: -grins stupidly- She's a feisty one, playing hard to get…like someone else I know**

**Hughes: What did I tell ya, Roy?! You already have the answer to your non-wife situation!**

**Roy: -glares at him- Oh shut up**

**Hughes: -ignores him and gushes about his wedding- Gracia was sooo beautiful! She had a wonderful violet--**

**Roy: -snaps his fingers and sets his pants on fire-**

**Hughes: -runs away screaming-**

**Riza: Uh thank you. –blushes-**

**Envy: Thank you! Finally someone understands how I feel when people decide who I like and who I hate! I swear that changes every week…**

**Winry: Aha! There's proof that I have some supporters out there! Thank you! –smiles smugly at silver candle and sticks tongue out-**

**Sky: -spazzes at the thought of all the possible Winry fans- -shudders- **

**Winry: -rolls eyes-**

**Sky: Thank you!**

Nya! Hey ppl, gues what... Im back -evil grin-

Edo-kun: You love weapons too! Oh this is so awesome! -hugs him- and you are in military uniform! -squeal and hugs Ed- But you and Colonel are really good pair...  
Roy: Aw, comon... I promise that you will dont pay for damage what I will make... -smile-  
Envy: Ok, so tell me why in our dub version on FMA they talk about you like about FEMALE? -insane laugh-  
Winry: you are useless and hopeless (dont make fun of my name, k? or I will kill you) -kills Winry anyway with her new katana-  
Al: do you like incest fanfictions??  
Hohenheim: HUG AL AND ED! -point on him- you know you wan to XD

Hoples

**Ed: Oh for the love of—will people stop pairing me up with the damn bastard colonel?! We're over! I wish you would just accept that!**

**Al: Ah um…I-I'm sorry, brother but I think that you should get back together with Roy-san…you're messed up over this separation…and now he had invited you to his dinner last night and—**

**Ed: How many (censored) times do I have to say that WE ARE OVER?! We don't click or whatever you call it! We don't love each other!**

**Al: Then why do you still have that picture of your first date together under your pillow?**

**Ed: -blushes and looks away- …**

**Roy: Okay you know that I will never trust that smile…especially since that Sky does that all the time…and how do I know that there isn't some loophole or something?**

**Sky: -smiles- Oh just give her the gloves, colonel. She already said that she wouldn't make you pay for damages!**

**Roy: -looks apprehensive- Oh all right fine. I don't want the higher-ups to blame me and make me pay, okay? Just return them in one piece all right?**

**Envy: I have no idea why but I guess my voice would sound sexier if it was female…**

**Greed: Actually it sounds kind of pathetic**

**Envy: Who asked you asshole?**

**Greed: No one gender-confused palmtree. I answer my own questions**

**Envy: -stabs him again-**

**Winry: WAAAAAAAAAH why do you people hate me?! There's only one person in this chapter who said they didn't hate my guts and you're not one of them! Why? What did I ever do to deserve this?!**

**Sky: As previously stated, you are stupid and hopeless. And a bitch. And a whore. And a slut. And a spoiled brat who can't mind her own business.**

**Winry: -sniffles-**

**Sky: Oh stop it. You're making me sick just at the sight of you**

**Winry: -collapses-**

**Sky: -swears violently under breath-**

**Al: Um they're okay I guess…not when they're graphic or anything…I mean I don't see me and brother doing that…but…yeah…I think I do…**

**Hohenheim: …Hug my sons? Will my eldest even let me touch him?**

**Ed: Huh? What was that?**

**Hohenheim: Oh nothing, nothing. –hugs both-**

**Ed: Ew! Dad cooties! Get away from me! Help meeeeeeeeeee!**

**Al: Calm down brother**

**Sky: -mutters- Baby**

**Al: -whispers- For once I agree with you, Sky-san**

**Ed: Hey!**

I have a couple of dares

Envy: Make out with a palm tree  
Roy: Kiss Hughes  
Havoc: Try and cliff dive  
Winry: Die.

The Gator

**Envy: All right how many people in this one (censored) chapter will call me a (censored) palmtree?!**

**Greed: Uh because you are duh**

**Envy: WHO ASKED YOU, YOU (censored)(censored) bastard with a (censored)(censored)(censored)?!**

**Sky: Such language…**

**Envy: Oh shut the (censored) up you (censored) bitch!!**

**Sky: -sniffs- Waaaaaaaaaaaah Envy you're so mean!**

**Wrath: Aw Envy how could you? –hugs Sky-**

**Envy: -growls under his breath-**

**Sloth: And to make up for it—**

**Lust: -evil smile- You have to make out with a…**

**Ed: PALM TREE! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**Envy: -glares at all five before hesitantly approaching a palm tree and kissing it-**

**Sky: -snickers-**

**Roy: I have to do _WHAT_ _NOW_?!**

**Al: You have to kiss Hughes-san?!**

**Ed: What?! Ha! I can't wait to see this!**

**Hughes: -dances up holding (what else?) pictures of his daughter- Oh Roy you have to see this, Elicia-chan is--**

**Roy: -cuts him off by kissing him-**

**Havoc: Cliff dive, huh? -walks to cliff and stares down- Looks like fun... -steps back and then runs forward like a maniac- WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE, BITCHES!!**

**Winry: -spontaneously combusts-**

**Sky: -grins-**

Scar  
I dare you to handcuff Ed to Roy and they must stay together for a whole chapter. By the way, you have to hide the key too Scar. After you do that, I dare you to be nice to everyone for a whole chapter and not mention Ishbal or your religion and if you do, you have to blow up a stuffed cat and for everytime you get mad, you must blow up a stuffed cat too. hands Scar a bag of stuffed cats I know you get picked on alot Scar but I'm a fan of yours.

Havoc  
I dare you to make Roy sulk into a corner. I dare you to ask out the next reviewer on a date. I dare you to dress up into a tutu and wear it for the whole chapter.

Ed & Al  
I dare you to hide Havoc's smokes and make him have alot of sugar. I dare the two of you to dress up Black hayate in some clothes and then show Fuery and Riza of what you did.

Fuery  
You're too darn innocent. Still, I got a dare or two for you. I dare you to prank Breda. kisses Fuery on the cheek and messes up his hair a bit I dare you to chew out Roy, Havoc, Falman & Breda.

Lust  
I dare you to wear a pink dress and dye your hair a light brown. I dare you to call Envy names like Pineapple and palm tree whenever you see him for a whole chapter. I dare you to ask out Havoc and make him believe you're into him only to dump him when the date actually happens.

Scar, Envy, Greed, Kimblee, Breda  
I dare you to watch teletubbies and Barney while in straight jackets for five hours.

Sonar

**Ed: For the last (censored) time, I am not going to be near that damn (censored) bastard (censored)(censored) colonel!**

**Al: Brother! Be nice**

**Ed: -whines- I don't wanna!**

**Al: Well you have to whether you like it or not**

**Ed: -pouts- Fine.  
**  
**Scar: -silently handcuffs the two-**

**Ed: So I'm going to be stuck with you the whole chapter. Oh joy**

**Roy: I'm not looking forward to it either, shrimp boat, but deal with it**

**Ed: No--WAIT A SECOND DID YOU JUST CALL ME SHORT?!**

**Roy: It took you that long to realize?**

**Ed: SHUT UP COLONEL (censored)!**

**Roy: Such language...**

**Ed: -slaps him with automail arm-**

**Scar: This is quite entertaining**

**Sky: Scar! Be nice! -holds up stuffed cat-**

**Scar: -rolls eyes and blows up the stuffed cat-**

**Sky: -points at Ed and Roy- Say something!**

**Scar: Something.**

**Sky: Not that you ass! You know what I mean!**

**Scar: -flexes right hand-**

**Sky: -hides behind Wrath- Uh please?**

**Scar: Fine. -turns to face Ed and Roy- You're...entertaining**

**Ed: And just what the hell is that supposed to mean?!**

**Scar: Nothing, FullMetal chibi**

**Ed: Nothing, my--STOP CALLING ME (censored) CHIBI!**

**Scar: Why? It's because of your size**

**Ed: Gah! I'm going to kill you all! -tries to leap at Scar but only falls on his face-**

**Roy: Revenge is yours, right?**

**Ed: Oh shut the hell up, bastard**

**Roy: -smirks-**

**Havoc: Is it even possible to make the colonel sulk in a corner? I can try I guess... -walks over to Roy- Hey colonel guess what? You are no longer the hottest date in all of Central!**

**Roy: Huh?**

**Havoc: It's me and...Black Hayate**

**Roy: I was dethroned by a _dog_?! What does he have that I don't?! Except the ability to speak!**

**Havoc: -shrugs-**

**Roy: -scowls and goes to sulk in corner-**

**Ed: NO YOU'RE DRAGGING ME TO THE EMO CORNER! SAVE MEEEEEEEEEE! I'M TOO YOUNG TO BE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOO! MOMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!**

**Havoc: -is now dressed in tutu- -dances around as he starts to sing- Oh will the next reviewer go out with me please...?**

**Sky: -stares- -shudders- I don't think so...**

**Havoc: Don't be so mean! -goes to sulk in another emo corner-**

**Sky: -rolls eyes-**

**Ed & Al: -glance at each other and nods- -sneak up behind Havoc and steal his smokes while he isn't looking- **

**Ed: I can't believe we were able to do that! I thought Havoc was supersensitive to his cancer sticks or something**

**Al: Yeah, I'm surprised too**

**Ed: -sees a murderous looking Havoc behind Al- Uh Al? You might want to run...**

**Al: Eh? Why?**

**Ed: -points behind him-**

**Al: -turns to look-**

**Ed & Al: -run off screaming for their mother-**

**Havoc: GIVE ME BACK MY PRECIOUS CHILDREN YOU KIDNAPPERS! -chases after them-**

**Sky: -blinks- Well there's something you don't see everyday**

**Fuery: -thinking- **_**Well I wonder what I should do to prank Breda? Hm... Aha! I know! **_**-has a plastic hotdog and places it on Breda's desk- -hides behind filing cabinet-**

**Breda: -enters- Ooooh FOOD! WAHAHAHAHAHA! MINE! -leaps on plastic hotdog and tries to take a bite but it is pulled away- Huh? -follows it as it pulled farther away- -leaps on it again and misses- GODDAMMIT WHO THE (censored) HELL IS MESSING WITH MY (censored) FOOD?! NO ONE MESSES WITH HEYMANS BREDA'S FOOD AND GETS AWAY WITH IT! -snatches the hotdog and tries to take a bite but it squeaks- WHAT THE HELL?!**

**Fuery: -starts to shake, too scared to come out-**

**Lust: Hm...I believe I have already done that but okay... -dresses in pink and dyes her hair- Actually I think I might keep this look... -goes to Havoc and asks him out- -dumps him five minutes later saying that she prefers to date the famous Colonel Roy Mustang-**

**Roy: -hears this and walks over to her- -offers her his hand-**

**Lust: -smirks at both and slaps Roy's hand- -dumps him also without him asking her out- Sorry. I just prefer cuter men than you two. -walks away-**

**Roy & Havoc: -stare at her and then go to sulk in their seperate emo corners-**

**Scar, Envy, Kimblee & Breda: -is tied up and faces the tv-**

**Envy: What the hell is this (censored) supposed to be?**

**Kimblee: I have no idea...but...ooh pretty colors...**

**Scar, Envy & Breda: -stare at him-**

**Envy: ...NOOOOOOOOO THE PRETTY COLORS! AGH THEY BURN! TURN IT OFF!**

**Breda: I'm hungry**

**Scar: I'm bored. And I really want to destroy all of you right now...wait...no...I shouldn't...I'll get in trouble**

**Breda: Since when did you care about that?**

**Scar: Since this. -points at tv and watches-**

**Breda: Am I the only--wait a second OATMEAL! I WANT OATMEAL! GIMME!**

**Sky: -stares- Wow I didn't think that they would just crack like that... -collapses-**

**All: -stares & blinks-**

Finally, another chapter and more dares to go around.  
Envy: Since you look like a palm tree, turn into one with coconuts. And start singing "I got a lovely bunch of coconuts" from Monty Python.  
Ed: What to do with you? I know, go on a glomp spree since you seem to enjoy it.  
Roy: I know you changed your name to Useless, now add Lazy And to it. Announce it to everyone.  
Breda:-hands over her small dog to him-This is Tobi, now play with him. Seriously, you need to get over your fear.

Jrockonhigh

**Envy: Uh...no**

**Sky: Aw why not?**

**Envy: I am not going to lose my dignity that way**

**Sky: Haven't you already?**

**Envy: What the hell is that supposed to mean?!**

**Sky: -innocent smile- Nothing**

**Envy: -glares and mumbles something unintelligible-**

**Wrath: You know it would suit you Envy**

**Envy: WHO'S SIDE ARE YOU ON BRAT?!**

**Wrath: -grins- Sky's side obviously. She gives me chocolate**

**Sky: Of course. -turns to whisper to Ed- Remind to never ever give Wrath any kind of sugar again**

**Ed: -looks scared- Right**

**Sky: And you too**

**Ed: O--hey, I've never had sugar!**

**Sky: Oh that's right...I knew that... Hm. I wonder what would happen if I did give you some...**

**Ed: -sweatdrops-**

**Lust: You know the faster you do your dare Envy the faster you'll get it over with**

**Envy: -glares but transforms into a palmtree- -starts to sing- I have a lovely bunch of coconuts...**

**Sky: -whips out camera and records-**

**Envy: SHUT THAT DAMN THING OFF BEFORE I KILL YOU!**

**Sky: A talking palmtree that's threatening to kill me! What a cool story! Perhaps I should give it to the daily news...?**

**Ed: -smirks-**

**Envy: You better not**

**Sky: -sticks tongue out- Make me**

**Envy: -transforms back and leaps at her-**

**Sky: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SOME FREAKY GENDER-CONFUSED PALMTREE GUY-GIRL-PERSON IS TRYING TO KILL ME!**

**Envy: _WHAT_ DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!**

**Dante: -holds him back from harming Sky- Behave yourself**

**Envy: Yes, **_**mother  
**_**  
Dante: -slaps him-**

**Ed: WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! A GLOMP SPREE! WH00T! -runs towards Sky and glomps her-**

**Sky: Wah! -falls- Uh...I love you too Ed... -random fangirl moment- YOU'RE MY FAVORITE CHARACTER! -squeals-**

**Ed: -backs away and glomps his brother- Squishy Al!**

**Al: -twitches-**

**Ed: SQUISHY! -runs after Roy and tackles him to the ground-**

**Sky: -is taping this-**

**Ed: LONG LIVE THE SQUISHY! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH--cough cough. -blinks- What was I just doing?**

**Sky: Something about squishy?**

**Ed: AHA! SQUISHY! -glomps Envy-**

**Al: Why did you have to remind him, Sky-san?**

**Sky: Because it's funny**

**Al: Uh...yeah…maybe to _you_…**

**Roy: Excuse me everyone. -is tackled by Ed- Let go of me! Enough with you and your damn squishy!**

**Ed: -starts to cry- You don't like me anymore! -runs off-**

**Al: Brother come back! -goes after him-**

**Roy: -blinks-**

**Sky: -rolls eyes- Just go ahead **

**Roy: Uh yeah okay um... Everyone, my name from now on--I can't believe I'm saying this but--is...Colonel Useless And Lazy**

**Riza: Finally your name suits you sir**

**Roy: -glares- Not funny**

**Riza: It is from my point of view**

**Breda: -backs away from Tobi- Nice dog. You're a pretty doggy... -cries out and runs away- I CAN'T DO IT! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! HELP ME!**

**All: -rolls eyes-**

Roy: O, that didn't go according to plan, did it? I apologize. deep bow gives him an apology cookie

Ed: DRINK MILK FOR BEING SO MEAN TO ROY LAST CHAPTER!! BWAHAHAHA!

Envy: Take Lust back. Please! She's sexy, but dangerous. I like my internal organs in their current places, thank you.

Winry: Have some cake. But don't think I'll always be nice to you... D

Voltra the Lively

**Roy: What didn't go according to plan? The way you tried to get Gluttony to eat me?**

**Lust: From what I know, you deserved to be eaten**

**Roy: -glares- What is it with you people and always insulting me?**

**Sky: It's fun**

**Lust: -nods-**

**Sky: However, you do get an apology cookie… -gives it to him- -whispers to the reviewer- Make him do something really stupid next chapter, okay?**

**Roy: What was that?**

**Sky: Oh nothing, nothing. –innocent smile-**

**Ed: But I don't wanna drink milk!**

**Al: Well you have to brother, it's a dare**

**Ed: No!**

**Sky: You know, if you refuse to do your dare there might be something worse waiting for you the next chapter…**

**Ed: Eh? Like what?**

**Sky: I don't know. It's up to the reviewer**

**Ed: -glances at Voltra- Please don't make me**

**Sky: Then drink your damn milk!**

**Ed: NO!**

**Izumi: -comes up behind him and restrains him- Give him the milk now!**

**Ed: Teacher why are you betraying me?!**

**Izumi: I'm not I'm just making sure you get your vitamins so you can **_**grow taller and not act like an idiot!**_

**Ed: But—but—I'm sixteen years old!**

**Izumi: Well you sure don't act like it. This is why some people say that you have the mind of a five year old**

**Ed: I'm not five years old!**

**Izumi: Then act your age and drink your goddamn milk!**

**Ed: -grimaces and glares at the milk- -turns head away-**

**Al: -forces the gallon of milk down Ed's throat- There's a lot more than that brother so I would be careful if I were you**

**Ed: -glares- Why has everyone betrayed me?**

**Izumi: Because everyone agrees that you should drink more milk**

**Ed: -fumes-**

**Envy: You know, if I take her back after I gave her away she'll stab me**

**Greed: She does that to everyone**

**Sloth: It's not as if you haven't been injured by her before**

**Wrath: Yeah! Like the time when you—**

**Envy: -slaps him- All right already! I'll get her! **

**Wrath: Waaaaaaaaaaah!**

**Envy: Oh shut the hell up**

**Lust: -runs towards him with her nails extended- I will stab you over and over until you die, you bastard!**

**Envy: …On second thought I think I'll pass… -runs away-**

**Lust: -runs after him-**

**Winry: Cake? Yay! Thank you! …Wait a second it's not poisoned is it?**

**Sky: That's what I was wondering…**

**Winry: -looks at her suspiciously before sniffing it-**

**Sky: -shoves the cake in her mouth-**

**Winry: -starts to choke-**

**Sky: -shrugs and walks away-**

Bwahahaha!! I have returned. And Roy, sorry for ruining your wonderful relationship with Edward.

Roy: Can I pwetty pwease borrow your gloves? I wont make you pay for damage either. puppy dog eyes of doom  
Winry: I'll be nice to you if you teach me how to work with automail.  
Wrath: Dont listen to Envy. You rock. gives lots and lots and lots of candy  
Hughes: I was wondering...I'm pretty good with kids..So uhh...Could I babysit Elysia sometime? I'll even take pictures.  
Edward: If you could go into a closest with anyone for 2 hours and do whatever you wanted with them, who would it be and why?  
Envy: Turn into anything Silver Candle tells you to with no complaints. Yes I'm evil. Get over it.

The Random Cookie

**Roy: How many times are people going to ask me about borrowing my gloves? That's the second person this chapter**

**Ed: Well then maybe you should**

**Roy: Why?**

**Ed: Because if you let the other person borrow them then you should give them to another. It's only fair—equivalent exchange**

**Roy: Not really**

**Ed: What you get in return is paying for damage**

**Roy: But that's not fair!**

**Ed: It is actually. It will teach you a lesson on lending your gloves to anyone ever again**

**Roy: But—I—you—what—oh I give up… -collapses-**

**Winry: So you'll be nice to me if I teach you automail huh? Does that mean that you don't like me?**

**Sky: You know Winry I think that's the smartest thing that you've _ever_ said**

**Winry: -glares- I'm not stupid**

**Sky: That's what _you_ think**

**Winry: Oh shut up. Anyway about automail it is used to—**

**Sky: -yawns-**

**Winry: -throws wrench at her- No one said you had to listen!**

**Sky: -dodges it- I know but your voice would put _anyone_ to sleep**

**Winry: -starts to cry-**

**Sky: Wimp**

**Wrath: Yeah I know! I'm way better than Envy! –starts jumping up and down in the pile of candy- Thanks for the candy!**

**Hughes: Oh so you would like to babysit Elicia-chan would you? Hm… I guess so! Why don't you come over and meet her! She's just the sweetest little girl—**

**Sky: Do not finish your sentence.**

**Hughes: -doesn't hear her- Oooh and you'll take pictures! How wonderful! Then you'll be able to update me on my little angel and what she's been up to and—**

**Sky: -hits him with wrench and knocks him out-**

**Ed: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh……………………………………why are you asking me this?**

**Sky: Hm…I can see you in a closet with…Roy…**

**Ed: Hell no!**

**Sky: -ignores him- Envy…ooh maybe even Havoc! And Wrath…Riza…Sheska…Al…Lust…Scar…Kimblee…Greed… Oh! And—**

**Ed: -covers her mouth with automail hand- I don't even know what name you were just going to say but would you please shut up? –takes a deep breath- Now. I was going to pick Riza because she's the least perverted person here…and I was going to chose Al but I know what you're going to say to that… -shudders- All right, Riza-san you're supposed to go into a closet with me**

**Riza: And do _what_ exactly?**

**Ed: Nothing. Play cards or something**

**Riza: Ah.**

**Sky: ALL YOU'RE GOING TO DO IS PLAY CARDS?! GIVE ME A BREAK EDWARD ELRIC! WHY CAN'T YOU TAKE IT FURTHER—**

**Ed: -covers her mouth again- I told you to not comment. Please. I don't need dirty images in my head**

**Sky: -singsong- Oh but there will be!**

**Ed: -glares and stomps towards closet to hide-**

**Riza: -follows silently with her hand on her gun-**

**Envy: I don't want to listen to you. No way no how.**

**Sky: Aw come on Envy-saaaaaaaaaaan! Please?**

**Envy: (censored) NO!**

**Sky: -pouts- Pwetty pwease with a cherry on top?**

**Envy: -growls- Oh fine**

**Sky: -squeals and jumps up and down- -claps hands- Okay! I want you to turn into…EDWARD CULLEN!**

**Envy: Uh…_who_?**

**Sky: -blinks- You don't know who he is? He's the best character in Twilight!**

**Envy: What the hell is twilight?**

**Sky: I don't believe you! –pouts again-**

**Envy: I don't know who the hell he is!**

**Edward: -appears- Where am I? Where's Bella?**

**Sky: -squeals- OMG IT'S EDWARD CULLEN! –glomps him-**

**Edward: -blinks- Uh…who are you?**

**Sky: I'm Sky! I'm a huge fan! Oh and you're in the Full Metal Alchemist archive**

**Edward: The what? –notices Envy staring at him- What?**

**Envy: You're as pretty as the chibi…**

**Edward: Excuse me?**

**Sky: -squeals loudly- Envy did you just call Ed pretty?!**

**Envy: Huh? Oh uh…maybe**

**Sky: -singing- Envy has a crush on Edo! Envy has a crush on Edo!**

**Envy: Shut up! **

**Ed: Envy! Why would you-- -stares at Edward-**

**Edward: Why is everyone staring at me? **

**Sky: Because you're Edward Cullen!**

**Edward: And what does that have to do with anything?**

**Sky: -shrugs- I dunno. Anyway—Envy turn into him!**

**Envy: What?! You want me to turn into some pretty boy who just randomly appears in this?! Why?!**

**Sky: Because I told you to!**

**Edward: -blinks-**

**Ed: -rolls eyes- Don't ask about her sanity...she's always like that, plotting and being crazy...**

**Edward: Really? **

**Ed: -nods- She lost her mind a long time ago...**

**Edward: -chuckles- ****Now that I think about it she sort of reminds me of Alice…**

**Sky: Oh yeah! Alice! I forgot! You should get back before your family starts to wonder where you are!**

**Edward: -disappears-**

**Sky: Envy did you transform into Edward yet?!**

**Envy: Yeah yeah I did**

**Sky: You look almost like the real thing! Yay! –glomps Envy/Edward-**

Heheh...I feel honored to be a part of a story..

Ed: Read a Roy/Riza fic and DON'T turn green with envy...or sickness.  
Al: Try to input a cat's brain into a homunculi...without puking. Pick one. That, and the cat's brain is given to you, so you don't have to go get one yourself  
Roy: Light the military central on fire...and blame it on Riza.  
Riza: Shoot Roy down for blaming you, but do take the blame.  
Greed: Try to blend into the wall with your metalic transformation.  
Winry: Break down Ed's arm...and then throw yourself off a building.

That's it for now, trying to request unusual scenarios for the author

(ZNO)

**Ed: Now why would I be jealous of that bastard colonel and Riza? I actually think that they make a good couple…better than me and him anyway…**

**Sky: Aw Edo don't say that! I agree with you that Roy and Riza are a good couple but you and Roy are soul mates!**

**Ed: I don't think so. He cheats on me**

**Sky: Oh really? How?**

**Ed: He looks at other women the same way he used to look at me**

**Sky: Then you need to get tough with him! Punch him however many times you want and then apologize!**

**Ed: Not until _he_ apologizes first!**

**Sky: Why the hell are you so stubborn?!**

**Ed: Because I am!**

**Sky: That doesn't make any sense! No go and make up to Roy! Go make out with him! GO GO GO!**

**Ed: -is shoved towards Roy-**

**Al: -blinks- Put a cat's brain in a homunculus? Wouldn't that be kind of creepy?**

**Sky: Maybe but do you want to do it?**

**Al: -blinks again- Uh…all right I'll do it. –rolls up sleeves and starts the procedure-**

**Sky: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew **

**Al: No comments, please**

**Sky: -rolls eyes-**

**Roy: Oh so I can light something on fire now? Awesome! –snaps fingers and lights the headquarters- -throws his gloves at Riza- Riza did it!**

**Riza: -glares at him while she is arrested- -brings out her gun and shoots at him-**

**Roy: Eep! –falls twitching to the ground-**

**Greed: You know I think I tried that before…I wonder if it will work this time? –transforms into ultimate shield form- AHA! So I can blend into the wall! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! IT IS THE ULTIME DISGUISE!!**

**Winry: B-break down Ed's arm? B-but…**

**Ed: -gives her his arm without a word and walks towards Roy-**

**Winry: -stares at him-**

**Sky: All right then I guess you have to do it now**

**Winry: But I don't want to **

**Sky: Do it. –holds up wrench- Now.**

**Winry: -glares but slowly starts to break down Ed's arm and begins to cry-**

**Sky: -rolls eyes- You are such a (censored) crybaby…**

**Winry: -completes destroying Ed's automail and throws herself off building-**

**Sky: -mutters- Finally. Took her long enough**

I laughed SO hard at what happened with my previous insanity! W00T!

Ed: Kill Winry, ignore any dares that tell you to drink milk (Over-Ride All Milk Dare Command), give me your coat, and kill everyone who has ever insulted you. 'Cept Envy.

Lust: You still rule. Kill Greed, and then give me a hug.

Wrath: Go play with GIR from Invader Zim. He has chocolate bubble gum.

Envy: Read a EdxEnvy fic.

Gluttony: Go kill yourself. You're not good enough for the precious, awesome, sexy, and deadly Lust.

Scar: Go talk to the Ishbalans you mooned, and pretend like it never happened.

But I'm Useless: Go molest someone who ISN'T Ed.

Riza: Change your first name to "I" your middle to "Can't" and your last to "Shoot". Your name will be: "I Can't Shoot"! And you can't hunt me down and shoot me. For I will sick Gir in duty mode on your .

Breda: Tell Armstrong he sucks . And allow him to throw you as far as possible.

Armstrong: -whispers in his ear what suck means-

Fuery: Go watch a Barney, Teletubbies, and Spongebob marathon for a day. And if you blink, you have to watch it for another day. Commercials are blink breaks. And you have to be there the ENTIRE DAY!

Silver Candle: Keep on writing! Meanwhile, I must go watch Invader Zim and write more for my Zim/Gaz Fanfic! -flys off-

FallenAngel Kit

**Ed: Isn't Winry already dead though? She just committed suicide… -shrugs- Oh well. I think I will ignore people forcing me to drink milk and I don't know about giving you my jacket…hm…maybe… -shrugs again- -gives Fallen his coat and goes on a second killing spree- REVENGE IS MINE! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!**

**Lust: Thank you. –stabs Greed- -reluctantly gives Fallen a hug-**

**Wrath: CHOCOLATE BUBBLE GUM! I WANT SOME! GIMME GIMME GIMME!! -spazzes and foams at the mouth-**

**Envy: So…I have to read a story with me and Ed together do I? **

**Sky: Sure. –hands him one-**

**Envy: You know…I think I might be better for him than the flame colonel… -starts to read fic- What the hell?! What is this (censored)?! I would never do that to him!**

**SKy: Yeah but you're perverted enough to do so**

**Envy: Am not!**

**Sky: Are too!**

**Envy: Not!**

**Sky: Too!**

**Envy: Not!**

**Sky: Too!**

**Envy: Not!**

**Sky: Too!**

**Envy: Not!**

**Sky: Not!**

**Envy: Too!**

**Sky: AHA SO YOU FINALLY ADMIT IT HUH?! I KNEW IT!**

**Envy: Huh--what? I AM NOT A PERVERT!**

**Sky: Too late for that!**

**Envy: -growls-**

**Gluttony: -burns himself-**

**Pride: Good riddance**

**Scar: -walks up to other Ishbalans- That never happened okay?**

**Ishbalans: If you say so…**

**Roy: My name is not But I'm Useless! And why would I molest anyone?! **

**Sky: Because you're a pervert!**

**Roy: No I'm not**

**Sky: Yes you are**

**Roy: Not!**

**Sky: Yes!**

**Roy: Not!**

**Sky: Yes!**

**Roy: Not!**

**Sky: Yes!**

**Roy: Not!**

**Sky: Yes!**

**Roy: Not!**

**Sky: Yes!**

**Roy: Not!**

**Sky: Not!**

**Roy: Yes!**

**Sky: Wh00t! I got you to finally admit that you're a pervert! Just like Envy!**

**Roy: What?! Aw shi--nevermind**

**Sky: -laughs evilly-**

**Roy: -narrows eyes- So I still have to do it?**

**Sky: Yep!**

**Roy: -rolls eyes and walks towards Envy-**

**Envy: What do _you_ want?**

**Roy: -kisses him-**

**Sky: Hey Riza! I changed your name!**

**Riza: To?**

**Sky: I can't shoot!**

**Riza: -blinks- What?**

**Sky: That's your name from now on!**

**Riza: -shoots at her-**

**Sky: Eeep! –hides behind Ed-**

**Breda: Major Armstrong. You suck**

**Armstrong: HOW DARE YOU!! –throws him a mile away-**

**Breda: -screams like a girl-**

**Fuery: -is tied in a straight jacket and forced to watch- I remember watching this when I was a kid…but I don't remember it being this…weird. –blinks- No I blinked! Why?! Where is the justice?! I don't want to watch anymore! Help me! Waaaaaaaah! Moooooooommmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyy!**

**Sky: Thank you!**

_A/N: Hm…I think this is one of _the_ craziest chapters I have ever written for this story…but I had fun writing it... -smiles- _

_I've had this idea in my head for a while, but I was wondering if I should do something like this for the book series Twilight (by Stephenie Meyer)…can't you just imagine Edward, Bella, Alice, and Jasper doing something silly and/or crazy like the characters in FMA? That would be just as fun to do as this. –grin- Please let me know if you think I should--and it would be wonderful if I received dares/questions in advance._

_See you next chapter!_

_Across the Sky_


	12. Chapter 11

_Hey all, and welcome back to Interview with FMA, now known as Truth or Dare: Full Metal Alchemist. Wow…I can't believe I hadn't updated this for…in three days it would be two months…hmm…nope, I'll update (sorry about the delay)._

_Thank you for the many loving reviews, and the many faves and alerts. I am so grateful to you all. Without you guys this story would have been deleted or abandoned a long time ago. This chapter/story is dedicated to you all._

_Enjoy._

I'm glad to see a new chapter up and running. More dares!

Envy: -hands over straight jacket- Run around saying "I'm the craziest Palm Tree and homoculi in the whole world!" Excuse the spelling. Admit it, you are the palm tree.

Everyone else: You can watch this.

Ed: Change your name to Fullmetal Shrimp and take all the short comments again.

Winry: Don't die! You're a decent character and while Ed is taking all the short comments, throw wrenches and hose him down with milk.

Jrockonhigh

**Envy: How many times do I have to (beep) say it?! I'm not a (beep) palm (beep) tree dammit!**

**Sky: I think it's far too late to protest that Envy**

**Envy: -glares murderously-**

**Sky: Want your straight jacket now?**

**Envy: (beep) no!**

**Sky: -tackles him and forces him into it- You know, this reminds me of that certain chapter in Phobia when you're afraid of air and you go nuts and then you're put in a straight jacket right after that because you're incurably insane…**

**Envy: -shudders- I really don't want to relive that…**

**Ed: -grins- That was fun to see, you know. I never knew that you a spazzing type, Envy**

**Envy: -glares-**

**Sky: If you want us to leave you alone then do your dare**

**Envy: -pouts- Fine. –takes deep breath and then grins maniacally- I'M THE CRAZIEST (beep) PALM TREE AND (beep) HOMUNCULUS IN THE WHOLE (beep) WORLD! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! FEAR ME!**

**Ed & Sky: -blink and look at each other- Wow…who knew that he would crack so easily? –grin evilly-**

**Al: -shivers- I don't even want to know what they're up to…**

**Ed: HEY WAIT A (beep) MINUTE! I'M NOT A (beep) SHRIMP!**

**Sky: -sighs- Here we go again…**

**Ed: I'M NOT (beep) SHORT AND YOU (beep) KNOW IT!**

**Sky: Yes you are. You need to stop den—**

**Ed: NO I DO NOT NEED TO STOP DENYING THAT I'M NOT SHORT!**

**Sky: You've been fighting against this statement for how many years now? I would stop denying it now if I were you**

**Ed: (beep) NO!**

**Al: Brother shut up and just admit that you're short!**

**Ed: Al…how could you? You traitor...**

**Al: -rolls eyes-**

**Sky: ****_Short_ little ****_shrimpy_ boat ****_chibi_...**

**Ed: WHO THE (beep) HELL ARE YOU CALLING SO (beep) SMALL THAT WHEN SOMEONE (beep) TALKS TO HIM HE'S (beep) CARRIED AWAY BY THE (beep) SOUNDWAVES, HUH?!**

**Sky: ...Uh you obviously...duh**

**Ed: -glares-**

**Al: Brother, just admit that you're short already**

**Ed: ...No. I refuse**

**Envy: DAMMIT CHIBI JUST DO YOUR (beep) DARE!**

**Ed: …Fine. –mutters- Who asked you anyway? Damn (beep) traitors. I'M SHORT AND I'M THE FULLMETAL SHRIMP BOAT OF THE MILITARY! I'M (beep) SHORT! I'M THE (beep) BEAN SPROUT (beep) MIDGET OF THE (beep) MILITARY! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!**

**All: -calls him short-**

**Ed: -fumes and screams at them-**

**Winry: Ha so one person doesn't want me to die! There!**

**Sky: Whatever. -rolls eyes- You're still a useless whore anyway...damn bitch…**

**Winry: -sticks tongue out- -grabs wrenches and throws them at Ed- -turns on hose and blasts it at him-**

Kya! Lovely chapter! I'm here again -grins- and I'm hyper -laugh-

Roy: Thanks! -kisses him on cheek and takes his gloves- hwuhahaha! -snaps and blow up every school on planet- O.O... uh... ok... not according to my plan... but hey.. XD  
Ed: Don't talk dirty –smack him- It doesn't suit you (Ok id does… XD) -gives him two giant swords- here take them... I steal them form Cloud and Ichigo Kurosaki (Bleach) if they ask… I wasn't here -run away- And by the way, in last chapter of FMA you look like a girl Ed! DON'T KILL ME FOR TRUTH! XD  
Ling!Greed: Hia! You are my second favorite character! You rock! And you make too good pair with Ed -snicker- maybe threesome with colonel Useless? XD –glomps him- and you have pretty cool clothes… XD  
Envy: No you sounded weird... -is green with disgust-  
Hohenheim: -handle him a fan fiction where he rapes Ed- read... I hate you for this... … But you still rock... XD

Hoples

**Roy: Uh…you're welcome…**

**Ed: I WILL TALK DIRTY IF I WANT TO! IT DOES SUIT ME BECAUSE I LIKE SWEARING! …Besides the only person who it doesn't fit with is Al…**

**Al: Don't you dare**** bring me into this, nii-san. I want no part **

**Ed: -blinks at him- …And why do I need these swords? So I can kill someone? Oooh who should I kill?! But who the hell are Cloud and Ichigo? And I DO NOT LOOK LIKE A (beep) GIRL GODDAMMIT! I AM (beep) MALE! …Though I couldn't say the same about Envy…**

**Envy: Hey!**

**Ed: Well it's the truth isn't it?**

**Envy: -glares- You're going to wish you hadn't said that, shrimp!**

**Ed: -sticks out tongue- Hey! WHO THE (beep) HELL ARE YOU CALLING SO (beep) SHORT YOU CAN THROW HIS (beep) WORDS BACK AT HIM?!**

**Sky: Well you are ****short…and you do ****look like a girl…**

**Ed: NO I DON'T!**

**Sky: Stop denying your true nature**

**Ed: WHAT TRUE NATURE?! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! THE ONLY TRUE NATURE I HAVE IS MALE!**

**Sky: You need to keep in touch with your feminine side!**

**Ed: WHAT?! I DON'T HAVE A FEMININE SIDE! I'M NOT A (beep) GIRL!**

**Sky: I wouldn't be too sure of that**

**Ed: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!**

**Sky: Hey I need some help over here!**

**Ed: HUH?!**

**Rose & Noa: -tackle him and drag him to a salon-**

**Ed: -is forced into a dress and makeup- HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!**

**Al: -is taping this while laughing-**

**Ling!Greed: Ha! I know I do! I'm just sexy like that! And I guess it would be fun to get with the pipsqueak…only if he doesn't scream too much. But I don't like the colonel enough to do a threesome**

**Roy: Threesome? With who?**

**Ling!Greed: Me, you…and Edo-chan.**

**Roy: -sarcastic voice- Oh really?**

**Ling!Greed: And**** I have cool clothes**

**Roy: …**

**Envy: I DON'T SOUND WEIRD! **

**Sky: Yeah you don't sound weird…don't worry Envy dear I'll make it all better! –glomps him-**

**Envy: AGH! GET HER OFF GET HER OFF GET HER OFF!! SHE'S A PARASITE!!**

**Hohenheim: Would I really do that to my own son?**

**Sky: Yes. I read a fanfiction when you do rape him**

**Hohenheim: …**

**Sky: But it seems that you are**** liked…for some strange reason…can't imagine why… -continues muttering to herself-**

**Hohenheim: …Uh…thank you?**

Velvet: Wow..you made Roy sulk Havoc. Nice job.  
Velvet gives him a flower and applauds him.  
Jadel laughs.  
Jadel: Let's give these guys something to do.  
Velvet: Oh right. Scar, I want you to lie to Ed saying that Roy said mean stuff and then do the same thing to Roy. Let's see them have a verbal fight again.  
Jadel: He's Col.Dingbat!  
Velvet: No..he's useless.  
Jadel: Col.crazy  
Velvet: Augh..I give up.  
Velvet: Aw..Havoc looks so hot right now. Can I hug you Havoc?  
Jadel: Augh..go and hug him while I dare someone else.  
Jadel looks around.  
Jadel: Fuery..I dare you to set Roy's desk on fire and blame it on Havoc saying that he was trying to light his smoke and the match hit the desk instead.  
Velvet comes back after leaving a lipstick mark on Havoc's uniform.  
Velvet: I also dare Fuery to dress in red for a whole chapter.  
Jadel spots Dorochet and jumps on his back while he isn't looking.  
Jadel: He he..cute. i dare you to act like a serial killer and scare the heck out of Fuery.

Jadel Thorn & Velvet Sin

**Scar: You enjoy seeing them fight? I must admit that it is amusing…and dangerous… -shrugs- All right. Hey, Full Metal!**

**Ed: What do you want?**

**Scar: I just want you to know that…Colonel Mustang told me that you were selfish and a bastard and that he no longer loves you**

**Ed: -blinks- -starts to cry- -then gets mad- HE SAID WHAT?! (beep)! I'M GOING TO (beep) KILL HIM!!**

**Scar: -blinks and backs away- -looks around for Roy and walks over to him- Hey Colonel, I just want you to know that FullMetal says you are a selfish bastard and he no longer loves you**

**Roy: Huh? The shrimp said that?**

**Ed: ROY MUSTANG!!**

**Scar: There he is now. –runs away-**

**Roy: -stares at him-**

**Ed: DAMMIT MUSTANG WHAT THE HELL DID I EVER DO TO YOU?!**

**Roy: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!**

**Ed: WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M TALKING ABOUT?! YOU CALLED ME SELFISH AND A BASTARD!**

**Roy: I have no idea what you're saying. I never said that. AND YOU'RE ACTING SELFISH RIGHT NOW! I DON'T SEE HOW THE HELL I LOVE YOU!!**

**Ed: WELL YOU KNOW WHAT YOU (beep)?! I HOPE YOU FALL OF A (beep) CLIFF AND DIE AND GET (beep) BY A VERY POINTY TREE YOU (beep) USELESS (beep) SON OF A (beep)(beep) BASTARD (beep)!!**

**Roy: -is depressed- I'm not useless…**

**Hughes: Hm…who knew Ed had such colorful language?**

**Sky: I think that would have been obvious for someone who screams rants all the time because…HE'S A _SHRIMP_!!**

**Ed: -screams at them-**

**Havoc: -is hugged by Velvet- Wanna go out with me?**

**Sky: I don't think she does, Havoc-kun.**

**Havoc: -is also depressed- Aw…no girl ever wants to**

**Sky: Then go bi…or gay…**

**Havoc: EW! I don't like men!**

**Sky: So are you telling me that you _don't_**** have a crush on Edo-kun?**

**Havoc: -blushes-**

**Sky: -grins- So I was right wasn't I?**

**Havoc: -says nothing-**

**Sky: Fine. Don't answer. –pouts-**

**Fuery: Set the colonel's desk on fire? Hm……dangerous…but I like it! Where are the matches! I could be a pyro!**

**Sky: Yay Fuery-kun's gonna be a pyro!**

**Havoc: Wow…you just did a _complete_ 180…**

**Sky: -throws a wrench at him- -hands Fuery the matches- Go ahead and light Roy's desk…I'll keep watch!**

**Fuery: Uh…okay? –walks over to Roy's desk and lights a match- -drops it onto his desk and watches as it burns to the ground-**

**Sky: Say WH00T to fire! –laughs crazily-**

**Fuery: Colonel! Colonel! Havoc lit your desk on fire!**

**Roy: What?! How?**

**Fuery: He was trying to light his cigarette…**

**Roy: Ah. Of course. –blinks and then grins- I guess that means I don't have to do that paperwork that was a week overdue…**

**Riza: -walks over to him and dumps a huge pile of paperwork at his feet-**

**Roy: Dammit. I just had to say it.**

**Riza: -drops even more papers at his feet-**

**Roy: (beep)**

**Fuery: Do I really have to dress in red?**

**Sky: Yep**

**Fuery: -changes into a red uniform-**

**Dorochet: A serial killer huh? –smirks- -sneaks up behind Fuery- BOO! I AM THE KILLER OF THOSE WHO WEAR RED! FEAR ME!!**

**Fuery: -jumps and runs away- No please have mercy I was only following orders! Help meeeeeeeeeeeeee!! Mooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyy!!**

Scar: Looked like you had an interesting last chapter. I dare you and Al to hug each other.  
Fuery: Heh..nice job on getting Breda there. hugs Fuery I dare you to do something you would never do. I dare you to have a break down and blame it on the military. same dare for Havoc & Breda  
Al and Ed: I dare the two of you to prank Scar and blame Roy for it.  
Envy: I dare you to wear purple clothes and dye your hair pink. I dare you to stalk Ed for a whole chapter.  
Rose: I dare you to stalk Kain Fuery and then claimed you mistaked him for your lover that passed away.

Sonar

**Scar: Oh I wouldn't call it interesting. I would call it annoying.**

**Al: I have to hug Scar-san?**

**Sky: Yep**

**Al: How do I know that he won't try to kill me?**

**Scar: I swear before Ishballa that I won't, Alphonse Elric.**

**Al: Uh…okay then. –hugs him-**

**Fuery: Thank you! **

**Sky: Now you have to do something, pull a prank on the military with…Havoc-kun and Breda-san**

**Havoc: Huh?**

**Sky: You have to prank the military…oh! I know! Blow up the headquarters!**

**Breda: I've always wanted to do that! Yes! Finally! HA!**

**Havoc: -has a pile of explosives- Let's do this before Sky-san does something else to get us in trouble…**

**Breda: Yeah**

**Sky: Who said anything about getting in trouble?**

**Havoc & Breda: We did**

**Fuery: I agree**

**Sky: -glares- -mutters- Knew I shouldn't have said anything…**

**Havoc & Breda: -set up the explosives and stands back-**

**Fuery: Three…two…one…**

**Havoc, Breda & Fuery: EXPLOSION!**

**Central Headquarters blow up**

**Sky: HOORAY FOR EXPLOSION AND FIRE! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!**

**Fuery: -blinks- OH MY GOD WE JUST BLEW UP HEADQUARTERS! WHY DID WE DO THAT?! NOW WE WON'T HAVE ANY JOBS AND WE'LL GET ARRESTED AND SENT TO JAIL FOR LIFE! I'M TOO YOUNG TO GO TO PRISON!!**

**Havoc: -smacks him on the back of the head with a baseball bat which knocks him out-**

**Al: Play a prank on Scar-san? **

**Ed: Oooh I can't wait! **

**Al: Brother! Be reasonable! This is Scar-san we're talking about!**

**Ed: So? And your point is?**

**Al: …**

**Sky: Yay for pranks!**

**Al: Sky-san you're not helping!**

**Sky: I know**

**Al: -sighs in exasperation-**

**Ed: What should we do to Scar huh? Al? You gonna help or what?**

**Al: Must I? Sky-san please don't—**

**Sky: -drags him over- You're in it whether you like it or not**

**Al: -groans- Of course I am**

**Ed: So? What are we doing?**

**Sky: Uh…I don't know. Any ideas?**

**Ed: Some use you are**

**Sky: -glares and slaps him-**

**Ed: Ow! What the hell was that for?!**

**Sky: For being an idiot. Now focus. What do you want to do?**

**Ed: -mutters- Something that doesn't involve you**

**Sky: -slaps him again- Aru-chan?**

**Al: Uh……...……….how about we corner him and pour something on top of him?**

**Sky: Sounds interesting. What do we pour on him?**

**Al: Uh……………paint?**

**Sky: -grins evilly-**

**Ed: -glances at Al- I don't think that you should have said that**

**Al: -shrugs- Too late now**

**Scar: -chases them to an alley where Sky is waiting on the roof- I will exterminate you—**

**Sky: -drops the paint of him and runs away-**

**Ed & Al: IT WAS COLONEL MUSTANG I SWEAR!!**

**Scar: And I'm supposed to believe you?**

**Ed: Uh…yeah?**

**Scar: -flexes right hand- I WILL KILL YOU!!**

**Ed & Al: -screams as they run away-**

**Envy: I have to wear purple clothes? Why?**

**Sky: Because it would look good on you!!**

**Envy: I don't need you to tell me what to wear!**

**Sky: Apparently you do…you have no fashion sense**

**Envy: (beep) you!**

**Sky: -ignores him- And you need my help!**

**Envy: NO I DO NOT DAMMIT!**

**Sky: -forces him into a purple sweater and dark purple pants-**

**Envy: I look like a (beep) grape!**

**Sky: That might be the point!**

**Envy: WHAT THE (beep)?!**

**Sky: -smacks him- No talking dirty! And now you can stalk Edo-kun!**

**Envy: -sarcastic voice- Oh joy**

**Sky: Hey I thought you liked to stalk people!**

**Envy: Right where—HEY WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?! I'M NOT A STALKER!!**

**Sky: Uh huh. Keep telling yourself that.**

**Envy: -sticks out tongue and stalks Ed-**

**Ed: Hey! Get away from me palm tree!**

**Envy: HOW MANY (beep) TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT?! I'M NOT A (beep) PALM TREE!!**

**Rose: CAIN! –flies after Fuery and tackles him-**

**Fuery: AH! Who are you?! Are you arresting me!?**

**Rose: No. I thought you were someone else. Goodbye now. –walks away-**

**Fuery: -stares after her-**

**Sky: Well. That was weird…**

That was awesome; I love this fic!  
Okay, on with the dares. XD  
Armstrong: I dare you to leave your shirt on for more than 5 hours.  
Envy: shapeshift into a palmtree!! Oh wait, there won't be any difference... XD  
Ed- I dare you to make Roy breakfast in return for him making you dinner!  
lol, thanks!

Ria Hikari

**Armstrong: Hmm…keep my shirt on eh? NO PROBLEM! –sparkles-**

**Roy: -glares at him as he tries to do paperwork- Major…could you turn down your sparkles or something?**

**Armstrong: Of course sir! This skill has been passed down the Armstrong family for generations!**

**Roy: -head/desk-**

**Armstrong: -rips off shirt-**

**Sky: …And guess what? You just failed. –hits him with wrench-**

**Envy: I don't wanna shapeshift! I'm sick of people telling me what to do! –goes all chibified-**

**Sky: -squeals loudly and glomps him- YOU'RE SO CUTE! CHIBI ENVY-CHAN!!**

**Envy: I'm not –chan!**

**Sky: Yes you are**

**Ed: Uh……is he ever going to do his dare thing?**

**Envy: -glares-**

**Sky: -blinks- Right…he is! Shapeshift! NOW!**

**Envy: NO!**

**Ed: You know, Envy, this is the longest I've ever heard you say a full sentence without swearing**

**Envy: (beep) you, chibi**

**Ed: And now you broke it. HEY QUIT CALLING ME SHORT!**

**Envy: -in sarcastic voice- It took you that long to notice?**

**Ed: Oh (beep) you (beep) palmtree!**

**Envy: I'm not a palmtree!**

**Sky: STOP FLIRTING AND JUST DO IT ALREADY!**

**Envy: I'm not flirting! Fine! I'll do the damn dare! Sheesh! –shapeshifts into palmtree-**

**Sky: You know Ria's right…there is no difference**

**Ed: -grins evilly- Yeah**

**Envy: (beep) you both**

**Sky: Ooh! Hey Edo-kun you have to make Roy-kun breakfast now!**

**Ed: I have to WHAT?! No!**

**Sky: Well he made you dinner…and now you have to make him breakfast… Equivalent exchange you know**

**Ed: -mutters something intelligible as he prepares to make pancakes-**

**Roy: -looks up as Ed walks towards him with the plate of pancakes- What's that?**

**Ed: …Your breakfast. It's from when you made me dinner. –places it on his desk-**

**Roy: Oh…uh…thank you, Edo-kun. It looks delicious**

**Ed: -blushes- T-thank you, sir**

**Roy: -smiles-**

thank you so much for using my dares. it was so funny i thought i might write some more.  
Ed/Riza: riza has to give Ed a bath like he was a little two year old.  
Roy:i dare you to put on a fluffy pink bunny suit and hop around saying im a useless bunny.  
Havoc:give up smoking its bad for you. try some gum instead. (then stick the gum in ED's hair when he isn't looking!)  
I have a question for Al; if you could be any character in any other manga/anime who would you be and why?

well thats all for now. keep up the good work silver candle and don't listen to those flamers, they're either jelouse or high. instead use thier flames to roast marshmellows.

yay marshmellows!! :3

Ellia-chan

**Riza: -blinks- I have to wash Ed?**

**Ed: Huh? **

**Sky: -grins evilly- Riza-san has to give you a bath Edo-kun**

**Ed: WHAT?!**

**Sky: I can't wait**** to see this!**

**Riza: -sighs and grabs Ed- -drags him to a tub and strips him-**

**Ed: Hey! Lieutenant, ever hear of personal space!?**

**Riza: -ignores him and dunks him in the water-**

**Ed: AGH! I'm drowning! Hawkeye's drowning me!**

**Sky: Edo-kun, you're only in two feet of water**

**Ed: -blushes- Oh…**

**Riza: -pours shampoo on his head and scrubs his hair before dunking him again-**

**Sky: -is taping this with an evil smirk-**

**Roy: Fluffy…pink…bunny suit? –shudders- Why should I?**

**Sky: -appears out of nowhere- Because you have to**

**Roy: -jumps- But I don't—**

**Sky: -snaps fingers and the bunny suit appears on his body-**

**Roy: How did you do that?!**

**Sky: Fanfiction powers…duh**

**Roy: -narrows eyes but hops around- I'm a useless bunny…**

**Sky: Heheh… -is taping this also-**

**Havoc: Aw! But I like smoking! It cleanses my soul!**

**Sky: -in sarcastic voice- Your soul?**

**Havoc: Yep!**

**Sky: -rolls eyes- -yanks cigarette from his mouth and sticks in a piece of gum-**

**Havoc: -slowly starts to chew the gum- Huh. I could get used to this**

**Sky: Well it's a lot healthier you know**

**Havoc: Yeah. –looks around for Ed and sees him talking to Fuery- Be right back. –sneaks up behind Ed and sticks the gum in his hair- -runs away-**

**Ed: -blinks and looks around for a second before shrugging and turning back to Fuery-**

**Al: Hm…that's a tough question. Well if I could be any character from any anime/manga I guess I could be…uh…maybe Tohru Honda from Fruits Basket? And why…because she's really nice and very polite and loves to cook… I'm learning how to cook now…**

I'M BACK! (Insert eviller laugh here)

Ed- Sing "Brother" and you haven't given me your arm yet! I guess I won't sell it, but can I wack Envy to death with it?

Envy- You have to allow me to do so without killing my.

Al- Now that you've stolen all those kitties, can I have one? Please!? I'd prefer a black one!

Izumi- "One is me, the world is all" Now teach me freakin' alchemy!

Roy- I have a quest for you! I have sent you a package. Contained in this package is... A MUDKIP! You must become a WATER pokemon master! And you can't say no, or Ed can bash your brains out!

Wrath- (Hands him a Golden Ticket) Two words. Willy. Wonka.

ShadowUchiha13

**Ed: Sing "Brother"? Hmm…**

**(Ed's verse)  
How can I repay you brother of mine?  
How can I expect you to forgive?  
Clinging to the past I shed our blood,  
and shattered your chance to live.**

**Though I knew the laws I paid no heed.  
How can I return your wasted breath?  
What I did not know has cost you dear,  
For there is no cure for death.**

**(Ed's chorus)  
Beautiful mother, soft and sweet  
Once you were gone we were not complete.  
Back through the years we reached for you.  
Alas, twas not meant to be.  
And how can I make amends,  
for all that I took from you?  
I lead you with hopeless dreams.  
My brother I was a fool.**

**(Al's verse)  
Don't cry for the past now brother mine,  
Neither you nor I are free from blame.  
Nothing can erase the things we did,  
For the path we took was the same.**

**(Al's chorus)  
Beautiful mother, soft and sweet  
Once you were gone we were not complete.  
Back through the years we reached for you.  
Alas, twas not meant to be.  
My dreams made me blind and mute,  
I longed to return to that time,  
I followed without a word.  
My brother the fault is mine.**

**(both)  
So where do we go from here?  
And how to forget and forgive?  
What's gone is forever lost.  
Now all we can do is live.**

**Ed: And I don't want to give you my arm!**

**Sky: Beautiful song… -tackles him and grabs his arm- -takes it off and gives it to Shadow- There ya go! Do whatever you want!**

**Envy: -is whacked on the head with Ed's automail arm- Hey! What the hell did I ever do to you?!**

**Sky: Everything**

**Envy: -blinks at her in confusion- And I just have to let her?**

**Sky: Yep!**

**Envy: -mumbles something unintelligible as he is whacked again-**

**Al: Would you like a kitty? Here's a black one like you requested! Her name's Smokey!**

**Izumi: You know, that was almost too easy. Where was your month of trial? The month of isolation on Yock's Island? Hmm?**

**Roy: What the hell is a mudkip?! And I don't want to get near water!**

**Sky: -sneaks behind him and pushes him in pool-**

**Roy: WAGH!! –thrashes around in water for a moment before sitting up- Dammit I wish you wouldn't do that!**

**Sky: -in an innocent voice- Do what? –is sitting beside the pool kicking her legs in the water-**

**Roy: This! –grabs her legs and pulls her into the water-**

**Sky: AH! COLD!**

**Ed: -is laughing as he is taping this-**

**Sky: -leaps out of the water and throws him in too-**

**Al: -laughs uncontrollably as he is also taping this-**

**Sky: Mustang-san! Now you have to become a water pokemon master!**

**Roy: NO! I don't want to spend ever an inch near water!**

**Sky: -leaps into water and dunks his head-**

**Roy: -fights against her and rises to the surface- NO DAMMIT! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT?! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!**

**Sky: -signals to Ed-**

**Ed: -grins evilly and whacks his automail arm on Roy's head-**

**Roy: -sinks to the bottom of the pool unconscious-**

**Wrath: WILLY WONKA! GIVE ME THE CANDY IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!! –runs into the chocolate factory and destroys it- WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!**

FUNNY!

Ed: Kill But I'm Useless. And sacrifice his body to the God G'lhar7k for ultimate power. And killing. (Do this after his dare is done)

But I'm Useless: Tell Riza she sucks at shooting, and let her do whatever you want to her. (Before Ed kills ya)

I Can't Shoot: Kill the Colonel after he tells you you suck at shooting, and then give me his gloves. All damages are paid for by Fuery.

Fuery: Pay me 10,0,0 dollars everytime you blink. If you can't pay, you have to be Silver's slave for the rest of eternity.

Breda: Do your Armstrong imitation in front of Armstrong, and not do anything to him afterwards.

Armstrong: -tells him that imitation is the greatest form of insulting someone-

Lust: HAIL! -gives Lust everything she ever wanted, and will ever want- That is all.

Gluttony: Go die! NOW!

Envy: Go kiss Ed. 'Nuff said. Then after Ed is done, turn into... A PALM TREE!

Greed: You're awesome. Why? YOU HELPED ED! YAY!

Winry: Meh. Envy/Ed is so much better. Winry/Ed is so over-rated. Ed is obviously bi!

Wrath: -gives him enough candy to last him the rest of his life.- Winry likes you when you're sugar-high. Talk to her while you are.

Scar: Give all the Ishbalans drugs. And make them take them.

Silver: Do anything ya want.

FallenAngel Kit

**Ed: KILL ROY MUSTANG! FINALLY! WAHAHAHAHAHA! –chases after Roy-**

**Roy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! –runs away from Ed and then runs over to Riza- Hey chuui! You suck at shooting!**

**Riza: -blinks and then shoots at him- I'LL KILL YOU!!**

**Roy: WAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH! WHY DO I HAVE TWO PEOPLE TRYING TO KILL ME?!**

**Sky: Because you're just you**

**Roy: And is that supposed to explain something?**

**Sky: Yes. It explains every question about you**

**Roy: You know…that doesn't make sense**

**Sky: Heheh…I know**

**Ed: _Nothing_ makes sense about her**

**Sky: -grins- That's true**

**Ed: That's not exactly good**

**Sky: -shrugs-**

**Ed: Anyway… KILL ROY MUSTANG!! WAHAHAHAHAHA!! –strangles him-**

**Riza: -shoots at him-**

**-Ed and Riza kill Roy. Ed sacrifices his body. Riza gives his gloves to Fallen.-**

**Fuery: Um…I can't pay that much…and I'm already Sky-san's slave…or just as long this story is up…**

**Sky: -snaps fingers- Hey Fuery-kun! Get me some soda!**

**Fuery: But won't that just make you hyper?**

**Sky: That's the point!**

**Breda: Hahaha! Stupidity is a skill that has been passed down the Armstrong family line for generations!!**

**Armstrong: -blinks- -starts to cry- -then throws Breda through a window and into the pool-**

**Breda: -screams like a girl-**

**Lust: Uh…thank you**

**Gluttony: Die? What is die? **

**Sky: -forces a bomb down his throat and watches him blow up- Heheh...**

**Envy: Kiss Edo-chan? Must I?**

**Ed: What about me?**

**Sky: -ignores him- Yes Envy-kun. You must if you want to live…**

**Envy: -narrows eyes-**

**Ed: What are you talking about?**

**Envy: -grabs him and kisses him-**

**Sky: And now you must turn into a palm tree!**

**Envy: -pulls away from Ed and glares at Sky- No! I don't want to!**

**Ed: -pulls him closer and kisses him again- Come on Envy…turn into one? For me? –pouts at him-**

**Envy: Oh fine! –turns into one-**

**Ed: -smiles and hugs him-**

**Sky: Huh. Who knew that Edo-chan would be Envy-kun's weakness?**

**Greed: Yes. I know I'm awesome.**

**Sky: Ego-maniac much?**

**Greed: I'm Greed. Duh.**

**Sky: …Right.**

**Winry: But Edo belongs to me! He loves me and only me! You must know that by now!**

**Ed: -mutters- What is it with people and fighting over me?**

**Envy: -changes back into human form and hugs him- -kisses him on the forehead- Because you're you**

**Sky: That's the same explanation I gave Mustang…who is unfortunately deceased**

**Ed: But you are aware that he'll just be resurrected for the next chapter…**

**Sky: I know**

**Winry: HEY! I thought it was _my_ turn to talk!**

**Sky: Huh? Really? You're such an insignificant character that I didn't pay attention!**

**Winry: -glares- Anyway. Edo belongs to me!**

**Ed: No I don't!**

**Winry: Yes you do! And you're not bi either!**

**Ed: How do _you_ know?!**

**Winry: And the pairing is not overrated!**

**Sky: It is if you read it over and over…and over…and over…and over…and over…and over…and over…and over…and over…and over…and over…**

**Ed: Okay, we get it**

**Winry: -starts crying-**

**Ed: You know…I still don't understand how I fell for you in the first place**

**Envy: Yeah I still don't either…she's not even that pretty**

**Sky: I agree! Riza-san is so much prettier than her!**

**Riza: -blinks- Oh! Uh…thank you**

**Sky: -glomps her- You're welcome!**

**Winry: -sinks to the ground still crying-**

**Wrath: -is given enough candy to get him sugarhigh- -tackles Winry and starts chewing on her arm-**

**Winry: What the hell?! What is this little freak doing?!**

**Ed: Yeah! Go Wrath!**

**Wrath: -bites Winry's throat-**

**Winry: -bleeds to death-**

**Sky: -cheers-**

**Scar: Give the Ishbalans drugs? What kind?**

**Sky: Your choice!**

**Scar: -shrugs and sneaks some drugs- -gives them to the Ishbalans-**

**Sky: YAY! –glomps Edo and Envy and Wrath-**

_A/N: Heheh…another crazy chapter. This was 18 pages, single spaced… I wonder if that's a new record…not that I was keeping track…_

_I was wondering how many chapters I should make of this: should I go up to 100, or just stop at 25 or 50 chapters and then make a sequel? Please let me know. I really want to know so that I can sort of plan the chapters out and when to update. Thanks. _

_-Across the Sky_


	13. Chapter 12

_A/N: Hi! Here's another chapter! Yay! This is still silver candle, but just under another name. I hope that it isn't too confusing. I might consider changing it back because all the readers that have my stories on alert can't seem to find me…_

_However, the reason for the delay is because of the onslaught of reviews/dares and I wasn't able to update when I wanted. So I'm sorry about that. Thank you very much by the way, I feel very much loved...and I don't think that's proper English. Anyway, MORE chapters will come but I will only be able to update once a month. This will definitely go to 100 chapters! Yay for more character torture! Heheh. _

_Enjoy!_

XD make this go on forever!  
lol,ok. here are more dares... heh heh...  
Armstrong: Since u failed the shirt dare, now I dare you not to sparkle for at least 20 minutes!  
Ed: Steal Roy's gloves, then set Winry on fire with them.  
Al: glomp Have a kitten. magically hands one over to him

XD lol, thanks!

Ria Hikari

**Armstrong: Not sparkle for 20 minutes eh? I WILL BE ABLE TO DO THAT FOR A LONGER TIME!**

**Sky: -in sarcastic voice- Right. Let's see you last for a minute**

**Armstrong: Facing challenges with bravery and honor has been passed down the Armstrong line for generations! –sparkles-**

**Sky: -rolls eyes- And he fails…AGAIN**

**Armstrong: Oh pickle...**

**Sky: -stares at him-**

**Armstrong: Cursing when necessary to express anger and shock has been passed down the Armstrong line for generations!! -sparkles again-**

**Sky: -slaps forehead-**

**Ed: Steal Roy—I MEAN—Mustang's gloves? How many times is that going to happen?**

**Sky: -looks at him strangely for a moment before grinning knowingly-**

**Ed: What? **

**Sky: Oh nothing, Edo-kun…**

**Ed: Uh-huh… -goes after Roy and tackles him to the ground-**

**Roy: GAH! Ed what the hell is wrong with you?! Get off me!**

**Ed: -lays on his back and stares at the back of his head-**

**Roy: -in threatening voice- Ed…**

**Ed: -says nothing but slowly takes off his alchemy gloves-**

**Roy: Hey what are you doing?! Give me back my gloves!**

**Ed: NO! –runs off-**

**Roy: -stares at him-**

**Ed: Oh Winry!**

**Winry: -grumpily- What?**

**Ed: -doesn't say anything as he snaps his fingers- **

**Winry: -bursts into flame-**

**Sky: YAY!**

**Al: KITTY! Thank you!**

Nice chapter, now I'm bored and a little hyper. And Ed, you're 4'11 according to some sources. Dare time...

Envy: -hands him a Jar of Dirt- Turn into Jack Sparrow and sing "I've got a Jar of Dirt". I told you I was a little hyper.

Ed: I didn't say you were a shimp boat but okay. While Envy is Jack Sparrow, slap him multiple times. (Jack took this all the time).

Colonel Useless and Lazy: Relive the 'tiny-miniskirt moment'! It's one of things I'll never forget.

Al: Take Havoc's cigarettes and hide them right away.

Winry: Help Al.

Jrockonhigh

**Ed: I'M NOT A SHRIMP!!**

**Sky: Really? You sure?**

**Ed: -glares-**

**Sky: -chanting- You are a shrimp, you are a shrimp, you are a shrimp!!**

**Ed: -snarls- WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL YOU WOULD MISTAKE HIM AS SOME SORT OF CRANE FISH THAT YOU CAN EAT?!**

**Sky: Well it's a crustacean but okay…if that's what you want to call it**

**Ed: I'M NOT **_**THAT**_** SMALL!!**

**Sky: You sure about that, pipsqueak?**

**Ed: -glares again-**

**Sky: -grins-**

**Ed: -folds his arms across his chest and mumbles something-**

**Sky: What was that? You're so small that I couldn't hear you**

**Ed: -growls- I SAID "I'M NOT SMALL I'M FUN-SIZED!!"**

**Sky: -blinks at him- You're a french-fry?**

**Ed: I'm **_**fun-sized**_**!!**

**Sky: Ah…speak more clearly next time**

**Ed: I was! Are you hard of hearing, woman?!**

**Sky: -pulls out earplug from ipod- What was that?**

**Ed: -sighs in exasperation-**

**Envy: Now **_**why**_** should I sing that?**

**Sky: Because it's fun**

**Envy: That's what you say when you torture us**

**Sky: Exact-a-tackily**

**Envy: What?**

**Sky: Nothing.**

**Envy: …Right.**

**Sky: So you gonna sing or what?**

**Envy: Uh…let me think…hm… **_**NO**_**!!**

**Sky: Oh come on…please?**

**Envy: No**

**Sky: Pretty please?**

**Envy: I said **_**no**_**!!**

**Ed: Please Envy? –pouts-**

**Envy: -glares at him- I'm going to get you for this, chibi**

**Ed: I'm not small! I'm just unusually not tall**

**Envy: -shrugs-**

"**I've got a jar of dirt!**

**I've got a jar of dirt!**

**And guess what's inside it!**

**I'm not crazy**

**I'm just a little unwell**

**I know**

**Right now you can't tell**

**But stay a while**

**And maybe you'll see**

**A different side of me!"**

**Sky: -claps sarcastically- Great job, Envy-kun**

**Envy: -bows dramatically-**

**Sky: -rolls eyes-**

**Ed: -walks silently up to Envy and slaps him multiple times-**

**Envy: What the **_**hell**_** shrimp?!**

**Ed: -mumbles- Not short. –walks away-**

**Sky & Envy: -stare after him with confused looks and exchange a glance-**

**Roy: -shudders- Tiny…mini…skirt…**_**ugh**_**…**

**Sky: -turns towards him- Tiny miniskirt!! Whoo!**

**Roy: -blinks-**

**Sky: -shoves him into dressing room and hands him a miniskirt- Wear this**

**Roy: -whines- Why?**

**Sky: Or you'll be sorry**

**Roy: …Really?**

**Sky: Yes. And I mean it too.**

**Roy: -shivers-**

**Sky: CHANGE! NOW COLONEL USELESS AND LAZY!!**

**Roy: -mutters- I'm not useless**

**Sky: If I say you are then you are! Hurry up lazy-ass!**

**Roy: -comes out from behind the curtain cautiously- There. Happy now?**

**Sky: -covers eyes- Oh (beep)… -uncovers eyes and looks at him for a moment before shuddering and recovering her eyes-**

**Hughes: Roy!! I didn't know you liked to wear women's clothing! You pervert you!**

**Roy: Dammit Maes go away!**

**Hughes: Nope! –whips out camera and take a million pictures- **

**Roy: And **_**what**_** do you plan on doing with those?**

**Hughes: Oh the usual…I'll show them to everyone who works under you…and then I'll submit them to the newspaper!**

**Roy: WHAT?!**

**Hughes: You know, now that I think about it…I'll go do that now! Buh-bye now Roy!**

**Roy: GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE MAES!! –tries to run after him but trips exposing his underwear- **

**Sky: -sniggers-**

**Random Roy fangirls: -squeal as they surround him and take a million pictures-**

**Roy: -groans- Normally I wouldn't mind this…but I'm not in my proper attire…**

**Sky: -rolls eyes-**

**Al: Ooh…should I try to take Havoc-san's cigarettes again? He almost killed me…hm… Hey Winry!**

**Winry: Yeah?**

**Al: You have to help me steal Havoc-san's cigarettes!**

**Winry: Alphonse, stealing is—**

**Al: Sorry Winry, it's a dare. And you have to help me**

**Winry: -blinks-**

**Al: Come on. –sneaks up behind Havoc and manages to sneak the pack of cigarettes out of his pocket- -gives it to Winry- **

**Winry: Al—**

**Al: -shushes her-**

**Havoc: -slips hand into pocket to get another cigarette but it's not there- -turns around and sees the pack in Winry's hands- GIVE THOSE BACK YOU (beep) BITCH!! IF YOU'RE TRYING TO GET A DATE WELL **_**FORGET**_** IT!! I DON'T DATE WOMEN WHO STEAL FROM ME!!**

**Al: Uh...Havoc-san?**

**Havoc: -lunges at Winry and wraps his hands around her throat- -grabs the cigarettes and puts them back in his pocket- -chokes her slowly-**

**Al: -blinks- Oops.**

**Sky: Good riddance**

**Al: -jumps-**

**Sky: She was a moron anyway…she **_**needed**_** to die…**

**Al: …**

Scar  
Hey..I think something is humping you leg.

Roy  
Hey Col.Stupid!  
I dare you to set Gluttony on fire

Shou Tucker  
sets him on fire while he isn't looking

Dorchet  
I dare you to torment Roy with your singing and he can't burn you whatsoever.  
Had fun scaring Fuery?

A Crazed Sue

**Scar: Excuse me?**

**Sky: Something's humping your leg? –blinks- Funny. I don't see anything**

**Scar: Back off. –glares-**

**Sky: Fine. –holds hands up- Sheesh. Loosen up.**

**Scar: -flexes his right hand-**

**Sky: -backs away slowly laughing nervously-**

**Roy: I'm not stupid, but I shall gladly do your dare. –snaps fingers-**

**Gluttony: -bursts into flames-**

**Sky: -shakes head-**

**Tucker: -screams in pain as he bursts into flames-**

**Sky: BURN YOU DAMN (beep) BRAINLESS (beep) BASTARD!! YE SHALL **_**BURN**_** FOR SACRIFICING THOU WIFE AND DAUGHTER FOR THOU'S WORK!! AND YE SHALL **_**PAY**_**!! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!**

**All: -backs away-**

**Wrath: -mutters- She's crazy…**

**Envy: It took you this long to notice?**

**Wrath: No, not really**

**Lust: We've been saying that since the beginning**

**Sloth: -nods-**

**Ed: Finally someone agrees with me...**

**Sky: -whips around to face them, her eyes gleaming- Dost thou want to burn too?**

**Ed: Huh?**

**Envy & Lust: -pushes him forward-**

**Ed: Hey!**

**Sky: YAAAAAAAH!! **

**Ed: -screams like a girl and runs away-**

**Sky: -chases after him waving a torch- YE SHALL BURN!! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!**

**Dorochet: Oooh sounds fun! And yes, I did have fun scaring Fuery… -walks up to Roy- Hey colonel**

**Roy: What do you want?**

**Dorochet: "What are you gonna do with all that junk? All that junk inside your trunk? I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk, get you love drunk off my hump!"**

**Roy: -blinks at him stupidly and claps hands over his ears- Shut up!**

**Dorochet: "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like, it's better than yours! Damn right, it's better than yours!"**

**Roy: AGH!! SHUT THE HELL UP!! YOU'RE MAKING MY EARS (beep) BLEED!!**

**Dorochet: -grins- "A few times I've been around that track, so it's not just gonna happen like that, 'cause I ain't no hollaback girl, I ain't no hollaback girl!"**

**Sky: -pops out of nowhere and is somehow back to normal- -claps hands- All right I think that's enough with the most annoying songs I've ever heard…**

**Dorochet: Aw really? I was having so much fun!**

**Sky: I know, I was too. But look at him… -points at Roy-**

**Roy: -is huddled on the ground in a fetal position- Make it go away, make it go away…**

**Dorochet: -grins again manically-**

Velvet: Oh hey Havoc.  
Havoc is caught offguard as Velvet glomps him to the ground and then kisses him.  
Velvet: I would go out with you anytime. Col.Ego is not as hot as you.  
Velvet then helps Havoc up and cuddles up to him.  
Jadel: Hah! Pay up Ed! I told you she would so date Havoc.  
Al: what?  
Jadel: Your brother made a bet.  
Ed grumbled and pays up.  
Jadel: Yes!  
Jadel looks to Scar.  
Jadel: Just admit that you love to see Roy and Ed fight.  
Jadel then applauds Fuery.  
Jadel: You could be addicted to fire just a bit but you got to admit, the nice ones can get away with pranks when they are not seen. Ah..by the way, Rose did seriously think you were her past lover. It was priceless and I got some pictures.  
shows everyone the pictures like Hughes would do it  
Jadel: Got a dare for you Scar. i dare you to blow up Central.

Jadel Thorn & Velvet Sin

**Havoc: Aw thanks.**

**Ed: -grumbles- Great. Now I lost all the money in my paycheck**

**Sky: It was **_**your**_** own fault…**

**Ed: -glares-**

**Al: Brother, you should know better! Now how are we going to eat?!**

**Ed: Well I thought I would win! I mean, Havoc has the worst history when it comes to dating women—**

**Havoc: Gee thanks, chief**

**Ed: Welcome, lieutenant. Anyway, I thought that I would win this bet! **

**Al: -rolls eyes- You are so immature**

**Ed: Thanks**

**Al: That wasn't meant as a compliment, Ed**

**Ed: -blinks- It wasn't?**

**Al: -sighs-**

**Scar: I thought that I've already admitted that. But yes, it's quite entertaining to see the two fight**

**Ed: Which two?**

**Scar: You**

**Ed: And?**

**Scar: Colonel Mustang**

**Ed: -wrinkles nose- Are you spying on us?**

**Scar: If I was, would I be here telling you this?**

**Ed: Uh...no**

**Scar: And if I was, would there be a whole showdown between the two of you that the rest of us are able to see?**

**Ed: -looks around- I guess not…**

**Scar: I've made my point, Full Metal**

**Ed: -nods-**

**Fuery: -smiles- Yes, that's actually I got out of being blamed for lots of things… I try to take advantage of it whenever I can.**

**Breda: Why you devious little bastard…so that was **_**you**_** who got food everywhere on the colonel's desk? And you blamed **_**me**_**?!**

**Fuery: Uh…yes. I'm sorry for that, Second Lieutenant. But really, it was Black Hayate**

**Breda: -grunts- I like a man who can deceive his way out of anything. Great work.**

**Fuery: Uh…thanks, sir.**

**Breda: By the way, that woman who was stalking you…do you have pictures?**

**Fuery: Why would I?**

**Breda: -shrugs- Just wondering…**

**Hughes: -pops up beside him- I do!!**

**Fuery: Y-You do, sir? B-but why?**

**Hughes: 'Cause it was a good opportunity…**

**Fuery: -sighs-**

**Scar: Excellent. –draws a giant transmutation circle and then activating it-**

**-CENTRAL IS BLOWN UP-**

Silver Candle  
You can go as long as you want with this story  
I dare you to get a chibi gun and turn Scar into a chibi.

Kimblee  
I dare you to blow up Greed.

Scar  
I dare you to sing "Lonely day" by System of a down.

Ed  
I dare you to dress up like Ichigo from Bleach.

Fuery  
I dare you to be dressed only in boxers for a whole chapter while trying to avoid the crazy fangirls.

Akira Phoenix

**Sky: Chibi! –grabs the gun and points it at Scar- -pulls the trigger and blasts him-**

**Scar: -is turned into a chibi-**

**Sky: YAY! CHIBI SCAR-CHAN!! –glomps him-**

**Scar: Get off! –has a high squeaky voice-**

**Sky: -squeals loudly-**

**Scar: -rolls eyes-**

**Kimblee: Yes, I get to blow up Greed…the bastard deserves it anyway… -walks up to Greed and places his hands on his chest- Say goodbye, bastard.**

**Greed: What the hell are you--?**

**Kimblee: -blows him up and grins maniacally-**

**Scar: -is still a chibi- Must I sing? Why can't I be spared?**

**Sky: Well, you have a dare. So you can't back out of it. –nods-**

**Scar: -glares and starts to sing-**

"**Such a lonely day  
And it's mine  
The most loneliest day of my life**

**Such a lonely day  
Should be banned  
It's a day that I can't stand**

**The most loneliest day of my life  
The most loneliest day of my life**

**Such a lonely day  
Shouldn't exist  
It's a day that I'll never miss  
Such a lonely day  
And it's mine  
The most loneliest day of my life**

**And if you go, I wanna go with you  
And if you die, I wanna die with you**

**Take your hand and walk away**

**The most loneliest day of my life  
The most loneliest day of my life  
The most loneliest day of my life  
Life**

**Such a lonely day  
And it's mine  
It's a day that I'm glad I survived."**

**Sky: -claps- Good job! I didn't know you could sing!**

**Scar: In Ishbal, we sing to praise our God**

**Sky: -nods- That's what I thought. But you didn't seem like the kind of guy who would sit in a church and sing…you were too busy blowing people up**

**Scar: …**

**Ed: Dress up as Ichigo from Bleach, eh? But what does he look like?**

**Sky: -shows him a picture- **

**Ed: -stares at it-**

**Sky: Uh…Ed?**

**Ed: Huh? –looks at her-**

**Sky: Why are you staring at him?**

**Ed: …No reason.**

**Sky: Uh-huh**

**Roy: Edo! Are you raping him with your eyes?**

**Ed: W-what?! No! What the hell, Mustang?! Don't use my own line against me!**

**Sky: Mustang, why would you even think that? You are such a pervert for thinking that Edo's a pervert too, you pervert!**

**Roy: How many times are you going to say 'pervert' in one sentence?**

**Sky: I dunno, but that's not the point! The point is, that you shouldn't believe him, because...he's a real pervert!! –gasps and covers her mouth-**

**Roy: -rolls eyes-**

**Ed: Sky, we have known that for a very long time now…**

**Sky: Well that's true… but if you knew that, why did you stick with him all this time?**

**Ed: I **_**still**_** don't know but—**

**Sky: -snaps fingers- Hang on! You still have your dare! Dress up like Ichigo-san!**

**Ed: -sighs in exasperation and disappears into a dressing room- -comes out a minute later wearing a kimono for men (but is actually a woman's) and sandals- How do I look?**

**Sky: Oooh…awesome! –skips towards him and yanks his ponytail out- Now you look great! –whips out camera and takes a dozen photos before putting it back in her pocket-**

**Ed: -blinks-**

**Sky: -gets a huge-ass sword out of nowhere and hands it to him- This is your weapon**

**Ed: Really? –takes it and stares at it for a moment- It's heavy… -starts to tip over and falls on his butt-**

**Sky: -sniggers-**

**Ed: -blushes- Shut up! You're making fun of me!**

**Sky: Of course I am! Sorry, Edo! –pats him on the head- You're too **_**small**_** to be carrying such a big sword…**

**Ed: -growls- I'M NOT SMALL, DAMMIT!!**

**Sky: Of course you're not! -glomps him-**

**Fuery: Dressed…only in…**_**boxers**_**? But why?**

**Sky: -squeals and glomps him- Come on Fuery-kun, please do it!**

**Fuery: -sighs- Oh fine…**

**Sky: Yay!**

**Fuery: -strips down to his boxers- **

**Sky: -turns and tilts head, listening to something- Uh-oh… -hides behind a tree-**

**Fuery: -blinks- Sky-san, what--?**

**Fangirls: -appear out of nowhere and run towards him, screaming-**

**Fuery: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!! FANGIRLS! NO! PLEASE! LEAVE ME ALOOOOOOOOOONE!!**

**Sky: -peeks out from behind tree and salutes him- We'll miss you Fuery-kun…**

Scar  
walks over to Scar and gives him a hug  
Hope you don't mind me hugging you.  
Okay, maybe you are right. Sometimes it does get annoying.  
Is it me or are things getting more insane?  
By the way, I got you a new jacket after paint got on your other one.  
hands Scar a jacket.  
I will always be a fan of yours though I wish you didn't die.  
Did you want to just die or was there really a reason behind it all? I'm curious.  
sits down next to Scar  
I'm going to be nice and give you only 2 dares.  
I dare you to torment anyone.  
Do you think that you would of done the same thing for your brother if he lost his arm?  
Honestly, what are Ishballan people like? I think the military misjudges your people too much.  
How hard is it for you to not sleep after you vowed never to sleep? I haven't seen the episode yet  
I dare you to take the day off and not return till next chapter. How does that sound Scar? Looks like you needed the time off.  
I promise I will give you some dares next chapter.  
Roy silently handcuffs her to Scar  
goes to move and finds herself falling onto Scar.  
Okay...who did this?  
Roy is seen laughing as he knew he was getting some payback for some chapter where Scar handcuffed Ed and Roy together.  
i got something to confess. I do have dreams about you.  
Roy taunts Scar by holding the key and calls him Scarface

Fuery  
hugs Fuery  
I see you and the others had fun destroying the base. Hope no one found out yet. Aw..you got a bump on your head. Havoc whistles as he hides the bat  
You been picked on alot lately in the past chapters. You poor thing.  
drags Fuery into a chair and gives him a massage  
I dare you to act evil for this chapter only. if you can't do this, then don't do it  
I also dare you to carry out one of your dreams.  
I dare you to set something on fire. you knew I was going to dare you to something like this. Don't worry. I'll help you

Dorchet  
Final thoughts as you were dying? same question to Hughes  
pets him behind the ear  
Sorry Dorochet. You are so cute. I can't resist petting you. I know I shouldn't be doing it. ends up forcing him to sit down and sit on his lap  
How do you over come fear and loss?  
When you were turned into a chimera, what did you feel and how did you overcome the change? Did you feel less human or what's the story?

Havoc  
gives Havoc gum  
I dare you to dress up in a cat costume.  
I dare you to go insane until the end of the chapter.

Ed  
I dare you to cut your long hair.

Sonar

**Scar: I don't mind as long you don't try that again.**

**Sky: Yep! Things **_**are**_** getting more insane! But that's the nature of this fic I suppose…**

**Scar: Thank you for the jacket**

**Sky: Okay, the reader wants to know: did you really want to die or was there really a reason behind it all?**

**Scar: As an Ishballan I was proud to give my life to protect another fellow Ishballan…even if she **_**was**_** a homunculus. But that was the one thing on my mind. "Protect her." Because I loved her.**

**Sky: You can torment someone now…**

**Scar: Good. –looks around and sees Ed- -walks over to him and leans down to whisper something in his ear-**

**Ed: -blushes deeply-**

**Scar: -smiles evilly and walks away-**

**Sky: O.O**

**Scar: Was there something else to this?**

**Sky: Uh…y-yes, there is…um… Another question: "Do you think you would have done the same thing for your brother if he had lost his arm?"**

**Scar: As an Ishballan, I would have given my life to protect him…even if he had forgotten the teachings of our God by pursuing human transmutation. **

**Sky: A second question: "Honestly, what are the Ishballan people like? I think the military misjudges your people too much."**

**Scar: The Ishballan people are a peace-loving congregation living to put forth our God's message into the world. Alchemy is something we don't understand, because it distorts the natural world Ishballa has given to us. And yes, the military government of Amestris has always misjudged us, because they believe that we are of no use to them. But we have always been willing to make negotiations if the time arose. However, that never came before the…**_**massacre**_**.**

**Sky: Uh…okay…a third question: "How hard is it for you to not sleep after vowing to never sleep?"**

**Scar: At first, it was…but I would not be able to survive knowing that the suffering I caused would come back to haunt me in my dreams.**

**Sky: All right then, the reader and I have decided for you to have the day off! Just until you're needed again…**

**Scar: -nods-**

**Sky: Oh, by the way…the reader says she has dreams about you…**

**Scar: -blinks- **

**Roy: -taunts him-**

**Scar: -glares at him and runs towards him, threatening to destroy him-**

**Roy: -screams like a girl and runs away (like a preppy girl)-**

**Sky: -sighs-**

**Fuery: Yes, yes I have been picked on a lot…but I think of it as tough love from the fans… -shrugs-**

**Sky: Hm. You **_**could**_** be right…**

**Fuery: Thank you for the massage! But I don't think I could be evil…I mean…Sky-san's already evil…and so are so many other characters…**

**Sky: HEY!**

**Fuery: That was a compliment, Sky-san! Please don't hurt me! –sobs at her feet-**

**Sky: -blinks- It's okay… -pats his head and hugs him-**

**Fuery: And I can carry out one of my dreams? Hm…let's see… -manages to build a high-tech phone- There!**

**Sky: -stares at it with wide eyes- Cool…what's it do?**

**Fuery: Well… -starts a very long lecture-**

**Sky: Okay, I get it! –covers her ears-**

**Fuery: Oooh, I get to burn something! Yay! –runs to the office- -takes out matches and burns Roy's desk- **

**Sky: Hey Dorochet! The reader wants to know what your final thoughts were as you were dying!**

**Dorochet: Uh…well…I guess I was thinking…that I failed my master…you know… -shrugs-**

**Sky: Same question for…Hughes!**

**Hughes: I was thinking that I would never see my family again…that I had not helped push Roy to the top…and that I would never see him as Fuhrer… -nods- But changing from this very depressing subject to one that is more cheery, would you like to see a brand new picture of Elicia-chan?!**

**Sky: NO. Shut your trap and keep it shut before I'm forced to hurt you. And believe me, I don't want to do that…wipe you out of existence…**

**Hughes: Really? Well, then, who would take care of my precious Elicia-chan?!**

**Sky: Hm, I don't know, how about YOUR **_**WIFE**_**?!**

**Hughes: Oh yeah, Gracia-san too!**

**Sky: -sighs- You need help**

**Hughes: Yep!**

**Sky: -blinks and sighs again- -bonks him on the head-**

**Dorochet: -can't help but thump his foot on the ground as he is patted on the head-**

**Sky: -sniggers-**

**Dorochet: Shut up! I'm a chimera, I can't help it!**

**Sky: Anyway…I have to interview you too.**

**Dorochet: Okay**

**Sky: "How do you overcome fear and loss?"**

**Dorochet: Make a joke out of it!**

**Sky: -rolls eyes- "When you were changed into a chimera, what did you feel and how did you overcome the change? Did you feel less human or what is the story?"**

**Dorochet: Uh…I felt a bit betrayed but I still felt stronger. I overcame the change when I got used to being a dog chimera. I didn't feel less human because I was half and half.**

**Sky: All right, that's it for now**

**Havoc: Thanks for the gum!**

**Sky: -in a sarcastic tone- Oh my, are you finally going to stop smoking that cancer stick of yours?**

**Havoc: Nope! Can't make me!**

**Sky: -sighs in exasperation- You also need help…as one of the many characters on this show…**

**Havoc: -nods- Tell me something I don't know**

**Sky: -looks at him- I mean **_**mentally**_

**Havoc: Oh. –blinks- Hey, what is that supposed to mean?!**

**Sky: -sighs again- All right, so you have to dress in a cat costume**

**Havoc: Huh?**

**Sky: Just do it**

**Havoc: -narrows eyes but slips on the cat costume- Now what?**

**Sky: Now you have to act like a cat**

**Havoc: -groans-**

**Sky: **_**Now**_**, Havoc…or these babies will go straight into the water… -dangles his cigarettes over a small pool-**

**Havoc: WHAT?! No, no, my babies…please don't hurt them…**

**Sky: Then act like a damn cat already!**

**Havoc: Hmph. I am so unappreciated. –meows-**

**Al: KITTY!! –glomps him-**

**Havoc: -screams-**

**Sky: Heheh… -takes many pictures-**

**Havoc: I ALREADY AM INSANE!!**

**Sky: Yeah. And I helped**

**Havoc: -sobs-**

**Ed: But I don't want to cut my hair!**

**Sky: Oh stop being such a baby. Come here**

**Ed: NOOOO!! Get away!!**

**Sky: -grabs him around the waist and puts him in chair- -ties him up so he can't escape- Now. To business. –holds up a pair of scissor and snaps them-**

**Ed: -gulps- Please. Please spare it…please…I likey my hair…I likey to braid it…**

**Sky: Stop talking like you're a hobo. -rolls eyes- And that pleading ain't gonna work, love. –comes closer and yanks the hairband out of his hair- -holds the scissors to his hair and cuts it slowly-**

**Ed: -is crying silently-**

**Sky: -mutters- Baby**

GO TO 100! bc no matter how long u do this, u r alwasy gonna fans lyk me and everybody else who luvs ur story. But it is DARE TIME! i finally have sum good dares.

Edo-chan: I luv u! U r da best! I'm not gonna be mean to u.

Roy-san: I saw u make Edo-chan cry! thats not ok in my book. You have to mgive me your gloves so I can hurt you really badly.

Greed: I dare you to go around yelling that it is the pickles fault, and also run around Wal-mart and then drop to your knees screaming WICKED CLOWNS WILL NEVER DIE! then you can go kill Whinry.

Envy: U r a pal tree and a cross dresser. Get over yourself and get a real job. Oh and also shapeshift into a lawn gnome so Edo-chan can kick you into a lake.

Riza: Ur an awesome character! No evil things being done to you either!

Al: glomp U R BASICLY MY FAVORITE FMA CHARACTER! besides ur brother. BUT U R AWESOME! U CAN KEEP ALL THE CATS IN THE WORLD! and Edo-chan can't say anything about it. If he trys to tell him THE GREAT MISSY-CHAN SAID YOU COULD! kk?

XxMissyxX

**Ed: Thanks**

**Roy: But I didn't mean to! He always cries so easily!!**

**Ed: Okay, I'm right here you know! And the person who cries easily is **_**Winry**_**!**

**Winry: Hey!**

**Ed: Well it's true!! You cry in almost **_**EVERY**_** episode that you're in! It's **_**pathetic**_**!**

**Sky: Yeah, I agree. Anyway, colonel useless, you have to give the reader your gloves so she can hurt you**

**Roy: -rolls eyes- Why should I? My life is always in danger so why should I be scared?**

**Riza: -cocks gun at him-**

**Roy: Eep! Okay, okay! –throws his gloves at the reader and hides behind Ed-**

**Ed: -rolls eyes and sighs in exasperation- You do know that hiding behind me isn't a good hiding place from Riza-san, right?**

**Roy: Yes, I know—you're too short to be useful as a shield…**

**Ed: WHO THE (beep) HELL ARE YOU CALLING SO (beep) SHORT THAT A (beep) BULLET WOULD MISS HIM NO MATTER HOW WELL THE SNIPER AIMS, HUH?!**

**Roy: Uh…that would be you, Edo**

**Ed: -glares murderously-**

**Roy: -blinks and laughs nervously- Not that you're **_**that**_** short…**

**Ed: Right, Mustang. Save your damn excuses. I've had just about enough of you**

**Roy: …**

**Sky: 5…4…3…2…1…**

**Roy: -is engulfed by fire-**

**Ed: -blinks and grins- Awesome**

**Greed: IT'S THE PICKLES FAULT!! **

**Sky: Huh?**

**Greed: -drops to his knees- WICKED CLOWNS WILL NEVER DIE!!**

**Sky: -blinks and then looks at dare- -nods in understanding-**

**Ed: Has he finally gone insane?**

**Sky: Yep**

**Greed: THE CLOWNS WILL RULE!! THEY WILL BE THE KING OF PICKLES!! FEAR THE PICKLES!!**

**Ed: …Took him long enough**

**Sky: Yeah, tell me about it**

**Greed: -is laughing maniacally as he chases Winry- DIE YOU PICKLE-HATING BITCH!! FEAR THE PICKLE-WEILDING CLOWNS!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!**

**Winry: -screams-**

**Sky: Heheh…**

**Ed: -smirks-**

**Envy: I AM NOT A (beep) PALMTREE!! OR A CROSS-DRESSER!!**

**Sky: Well that's what you want to think…but we all know the truth, Envy**

**Envy: Huh?**

**Sky: You're still a cross-dressing palmtree even if you don't admit it**

**Envy: -glares-**

**Sky: Get a job**

**Envy: NO!!**

**Sky: Then shapeshift into a lawn gnome!**

**Envy: WHAT?!**

**Sky: You heard me**

**Envy: I don't wanna!!**

**Sky: Well you're going have to if you want to live**

**Envy: -growls-**

**Sky: Do it**

**Envy: -rolls eyes and shapeshifts-**

**Ed: -sneaks up behind him and kicks him into lake- -laughs crazily-**

**Sky: -blinks-**

**Riza: Thank you**

**Al: Uh…thanks. –squeals- Kitties!!**

handcuffs Havoc to his new girlfriend Velvet Sin

Havoc  
I dare you to marry Velvet Sin

Fuery  
I dare you to ask Rose on a date  
I dare you to drive Breda nuts  
I dare you to find a way to send Roy into the nuthouse.

Jade Maksai

**Havoc: Whoo! I was just about to ask!**

**Sky: Go ahead then**

**Havoc: Velvet Sin, will you marry me?**

**Fuery: Rose? Who's Rose?**

**Sky: -points towards Rose-**

**Fuery: Ah! Rose-san! Uh...would you care to come with me on a date?**

**Rose: A date? Hm...I guess. -smiles-**

**-they go on their date-**

**Fuery: Now I have to drive Lieutenant Breda nuts... -goes to Breda- Hey, lieutenant, here's Black Hayate! -shoves the dog in his face again and again-**

**Breda: -screams like a little girl and starts to spaz-**

**Sky: Now you have to do something to Roy to send him to the nuthouse... -mutters- Not that he isn't close enough already...**

**Roy: Hey!**

**Sky: Well you know it's true. You just don't want to admit it**

**Roy: ... –mutters- Look who's talking…**

**Sky: -glares at him and slaps him upside the head-**

**Roy: Ow…**

**Sky: Wimp!**

**Roy: Well you know it's true!**

**Sky: -slaps him again-**

**Fuery: Sir! -runs up to him and whispers something in his ear-**

**Roy: -pales and collapses to the floor- -curls into fetal position and whimpers-**

**Sky: -blinks- Woah...what'd you do, Fuery-kun?**

**Fuery: -smiles innocently- Oh nothing much...**

**Sky: -looks at him weirdly and kneels beside Roy- Colonel?**

**Roy: -screams loudly and jumps to his feet- KEEP AWAY FROM ME!! MOMMY!!-runs into a wall-**

**Sky: -sniggers and gets a straightjacket- -ties it around him- Off to your new home now...like a good little boy...**

**Roy: -mutters- I'm a good boy...I'm a good boy...I'm a good boy...**

**Sky: -laughs- You never were, Roy-san**

**Fuery: -nods- That's true**

**Roy: -glares- No one asked you**

**Sky: -places a piece of duck tape across his mouth-**

Kimblee  
I dare you to glomp Ed and no blowing him up.  
I dare you to blow up Archer

Riza  
I dare you to give Fuery a nice and polite kiss on the cheek.

Scar  
I dare you to hug Ed and mistake him for a cat.  
sticks cat ears on Ed's head and they are superglued on there so they can't be taken off

Trilesta Mikamo

**Kimblee: Now why would I want to glomp the pipsqueak?**

**Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLING A PIPSQUEAK?!**

**Kimblee: -looks at him and hugs him-**

**Ed: EEEEEEWWWWWWW!! MAN COOTIES!! GET OFF GET OFF GET OFF!! HELP ME!!**

**Kimblee: -pouts- You're hurting my feelings sprout**

**Ed: -tries to hit him in the face- I'M NOT A SPROUT!!**

**Kimblee: -kisses his forehead-**

**Ed: -screams in a high-pitched voice and faints-**

**Kimblee: -grins- Whoops**

**Sky: -shakes head-**

**Archer: -appears- What the hell are you doing, Kimblee?**

**Kimblee: -grin widens and he drops Ed- -walks towards Archer and places both hands on his chest- Say goodbye, Archer… -blows him up-**

**Riza: -goes to Fuery and kisses him politely on the cheek-**

**Fuery: -blushes-**

**Sky: -grabs Ed and slaps him awake- -superglues the cat ears on his head-**

**Ed: What are you doing?**

**Sky: Oh nothing**

**Ed: And I'm supposed to believe you?**

**Sky: If you want**

**Ed: -rolls eyes-**

**Sky: -drags him to his feet and pushes him towards Scar- Come and get him!**

**Ed: -blinks-**

**Scar: -glares for a second at Sky and then glomps Ed-**

**Ed: -screams like a little girl again- What the hell?!**

**Scar: You're a kitty…so I'm hugging you**

**Ed: … -turns head to glare murderously at Sky- What did you do to me?**

**Sky: -smiles innocently-**

**Scar: -hugs him tightly-**

**Ed: -squeals and faints again-**

**Sky: …Why does he faint so easily?**

Ed  
I dare you to take this note book and kill Law with it by whacking him with it constantly.

Dorochet  
I dare you to be Scar's pet for 2 chapters.

Shou Tucker  
I dare you to turn me into a chimera.

Akari Makari

**Sky: -hands the notebook to him-**

**Ed: -blinks and stares at it- What am I supposed to do with it?**

**Sky: Kill Law by whacking him constantly with that**

**Ed: Uh…**

**Sky: Go on. –pushes him towards Law-**

**Ed: -doesn't move- Why should I?**

**Sky: -sighs- Dammit pipsqueak… -ignores Ed's rant and threats to kill her and picks him up easily-**

**Ed: -squeals-**

**Sky: -throws him at Law-**

**Ed: -screams as he lands on Law's back and clings to his shirt-**

**Sky: Hey, Edo, you look like a spider**

**Ed: -glares- Thanks for the notice… -raises the notebook over his head and falls over onto the floor- OW!**

**Sky: -stares at him in exasperation and smiles-**

**Ed: Shut the hell up!**

**Sky: -goes to him and picks him up again- -gives him a boost to climb on Law's back again-**

**Law: -has amazingly not noticed what was going on behind him as he watches a card game between Dorochet and Roy, who is losing badly-**

**Ed: -raises the notebook again and whacks Law very hard on the head multiple times-**

**Sky: -backs away as Law starts to sway- TIMBER!! EVERYONE LOOK OUT!!**

**Law: -falls heavily-**

**Ed: -is crouching, blinking stupidly, on Law's back as he stares at his head-**

**Sky: -pulls him off and slaps him- Wake up!**

**Ed: Huh? What?**

**Sky: -sighs and pats his head-**

**Ed: -face is a question mark- I'm confused…**

**Roy: Don't worry, we all are…**

**Sky: Heh, that's true**

**Roy: **_**You**_** especially**

**Sky: -blinks- I'm confused?**

**Roy: No, you're **_**confusing**_

**Sky: Huh? –blinks-**

**Roy: -sighs-**

**Dorochet: I don't wanna be someone's pet! I'm not a dog!**

**Sky: Yes you are**

**Dorochet: -glares- No **

**Sky: Yep. You're a dog chimera so that makes you a dog**

**Dorochet: -snarls-**

**Sky: -closes his mouth and slips a collar onto his neck-**

**Dorochet: Hey what are you doing?! Get that thing off! –starts tugging at the collar with his teeth and chokes himself-**

**Sky: -whacks him with a rolled-up newspaper- Go on! Get!**

**Dorochet: -scrambles to his feet and runs away- -collides with Scar-**

**Scar: -falls to the ground with Dorochet on his chest- What do **_**you**_** want?**

**Dorochet: -glances over his shoulder at Sky-**

**Sky: -grins-**

**Dorochet: -rolls eyes and then turns back to Scar- -licks his face-**

**Scar: EW!! GET THE HELL OFF ME YOU DAMN **_**MUTT**_**!! –pushes him off and gets up- -walks away-**

**Dorochet: -follows him on all fours-**

**Scar: GO AWAY!!**

**Sky: -grin widens- Haha. –looks around- Anyone know where Tucker is?**

**Ed: Tucker? Didn't you burn him?**

**Sky: Uh…yeah. I did. But it's the same with Winry: THEY **_**DON'T**_** STAY **_**DEAD**_**!! They're freaking zombies!!**

**Ed: -blinks-**

**Sky: Fine, I'll get him myself. –stalks off and returns dragging Tucker behind her on the ground- All right. Since the damn bastard won't stay dead like he's supposed to he has to transmute Akari-**_**san**_** into a chimera. You follow?**

**Tucker: Sure but—**

**Sky: Stop talking you…you…bunny giant zebra thing!! I don't know what to call you!! Aaah…what was I doing again?**

**Ed: You were saying that Tucker was going to transmute someone?**

**Sky: Oh yeah! **

**Ed: -mutters- Short attention span much…**

**Sky: -throws a wrench at him-**

**Ed: -falls-**

**Tucker: -draws the transmutation circle and puts Akari-**_**san**_** inside it- -claps his…paws together and activates it- -transmutes her into a wolf chimera-**

**Sky: Good. –whacks Tucker with another wrench and then drags him behind her- Back into the deep dark abyss you came from…**

**Ed: …**

Hughes: Show Roy your pictures for a whole chapter.

Roy: Don't burn Hughes, burn his pictures.

# 46 (older Slicer brother): Put on a respirator, grab a lightsaber and call yourself Darth Vader. Then join me.

Twitchy the Pyro

**Hughes: Heh, I already do that!**

**Sky: -ties Roy to a chair and tapes his eyes open-**

**Hughes: Thanks. –whips out a hundred photo albums and shows every single picture to Roy, explaining in detail what each is about-**

**Roy: -groans-**

**Sky: -hits him with wrench-**

**Hughes: Sky-**_**san**_**, he's supposed to be awake to see this**

**Sky: I know**

**Hughes: So why…?**

**Sky: I just wanted to hit him with a wrench…**

**Hughes: -blinks-**

**Sky: And besides, you have the **_**entire **_**chapter to show him all your pictures!**

**Hughes: -grins-**

**Roy: -opens his eyes and slowly pulls on his glove- -stands and stares at the HUGE pile of pictures- -rolls eyes and snaps fingers- -the stack bursts into flames-**

**Hughes: Roy! How could you! –has tears streaming down his cheeks- I had hot pictures of Edo in there!**

**Roy: WHAT?! WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THOSE?!**

**Hughes: I was going to give them to you! And those were the only copies!!**

**Roy: HUH?!**

**Hughes: -grins- Just kidding!**

**Roy: -glares murderously and raises his gloved hand threateningly-**

**Hughes: Easy, Mustang, it was a joke…**

**Roy: Right. And I'm supposed to believe you?**

**Hughes: So you actually think I had those pictures?**

**Roy: Maybe. So should I believe you?**

**Hughes: I'm your best friend! Come on!**

**Roy: Since when did you take **_**"hot"**_** pictures of Edo?**

**Hughes: Since…this thing started!**

**Roy: What thing?**

**Hughes: The truth or dare stuff, Roy. Keep up with me here. You know, all the reviewers want to see you with Ed**

**Roy: -twitches- He and I are no longer together. I thought you knew that**

**Sky: Yeah but you never know. Don't you still love him?**

**Roy: Maybe—HEY SHUT UP!! LEAVE ME ALONE!! THAT IS MY BUSINESS AND MINE ALONE!!**

**Hughes: But—**

**Roy: THAT INCLUDES **_**YOU**_**, MAES!! You don't need to know that I can't stop thinking about-- -eyes widen and he covers his mouth-**

**Sky: -blinks-**

**Hughes: -smirks- Can't stop thinking about him, huh?**

**Roy: Shut up!!**

**Hughes: -shakes head-**

**#46: Why am I here?**

**Sky: Ah! Slicer brother!! –hides behind Hughes-**

**#46: Yes.**

**Sky: -stares at him and then walks up to him- -gives him a respirator- Here you go. Now proclaim to the world that **_**YOU ARE DARTH VADER!!**_

**#46: What?**

**Sky: -blinks- Wait a second…DARTH VADER!! IT'S YOU!! YOU, THE MASTERMIND OF EVIL AND DEATH!! AAH!! –hides behind Hughes again-**

**#46: -shakes his helmet- Maybe I should go**

**Hughes: She'll just track you down if you don't do it now**

**Sky: That's right! –looks at him again and squeals- DARTH VADER!! –hides face-**

**Roy: Why is she scared of **_**him**_**? He's an EMPTY suit of armor in case you haven't noticed! He's not going to kill you!**

**Sky: -glares at him and throws five wrenches at his head-**

**#46: Should I?**

**Hughes: Do you **_**want **_**her to throw a wrench at you?**

**#46: Not really.**

**Hughes: Then…**

**#46: -sighs and puts on respirator- **_**Luke…I am your father…**_

**Sky: **_**I knew it!!**_

**Hughes: Who's Luke?**

**#46: How did I know that line?**

**Sky: PANCAKES!!**

**#46 & Hughes: -stare at her-**

**Sky: What? I'm hungry…**

**#46 & Hughes: -look at each other and shake their helmet/head-**

**Sky: Don't shake your head at me!!**

**Hughes: Well then what are we supposed to do?**

**Sky: No idea… STRAWBERRIES!!**

**#46 & Hughes: -back away slowly-**

WTH?! -laughs to death- oh, GOD this (beep) is GOOD! XD

Ed:-hands a sailor suit- put this on and run around with your hair down saying ''I'm a pretty little school girl'' Then after your done I want you to make out with Winry for one full hour.(please don't hate me Edo-kun)

Envy:-goes into fangirl mode- OMG!-glomps- I love you Envy-kun! -kiss- And you SO are NOT a gender-confused palm tree.

Roy:put on a wedding dress and frolic through flowers singing ''The Sound of Music'' Then let Riza use you for target practice for the rest of the chapter.Oh, and I hate your guts Colonel Useless.

Lust:I hate you too...so go die.

Wrath:say NOTHING for a week.

Winry:after you finish makeing out with Ed, catch on fire, stab yourself, get poisoned, drown, jump off a cliff and finally let every one slowly rip you limb from limb.

Hughes:while all of this is happening take many, many pictures.

Nekos rule! X3

Neko-samaXIII

**Ed: I don't wanna be a sailor!!**

**Sky: You certainly swear like one…what would be the difference? Oh yeah…the height…or lack thereof**

**Ed: WHO THE (censored) HELL ARE YOU CALLING SO (censored) SHORT THAT HE ISN'T OLD ENOUGH TO BE A (censored) SAILOR?!**

**Sky: -sighs and drags him into a dressing room-**

**Ed: LET GO OF ME!!**

**Sky: -shoves him into sailor suit and yanks the ponytail holder out of his hair-**

**Ed: I'm not saying anything!!**

**Sky: Yes you are. **

**Ed: NO!!**

**Sky: Do it or I'll tell Roy that you have hot pictures of him**

**Ed: Huh?**

**Sky: -takes out envelope from behind her back and waves it in front of his face-**

**Ed: -eyes follow it-**

**Sky: -smirks and pockets it- Come on, Edo**

**Ed: -blinks- And if I don't?**

**Sky: -turns and yells- ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOY!!**

**Ed: -starts to panic- No, no, no, fine, I'll do it!! **

**Roy: What do you want?**

**Sky: Nothing. –hits him with ten wrenches-**

**Ed: Uh…where do those wrenches keep coming from?**

**Sky: Fanfiction**

**Ed: …**

**Sky: Do it**

**Ed: …No**

**Sky: Do it or…I shall feed you spoiled milk…**

**Ed: -pales-**

**Sky: Or I can tell Roy that… -leans forward to whisper the rest in his ear-**

**Ed: -eyes widen-**

**Sky: -smiles- Are we clear?**

**Ed: -nods and starts to skip around- I'm a pretty school girl! I'm a pretty school girl!! –trips-**

**Sky: -sniggers-**

**Ed: -screams at the sky- I'M A PRETTY SCHOOL GIRL!!**

**Sky: …Ooh**

**Ed: What?**

**Sky: You're not going to like this**

**Ed: Tell me!**

**Sky: You have to make out with…Winry**

**Ed: WHAT?! ARE YOU (censored) ME?!**

**Sky: Unfortunately no**

**Winry: Someone say my name?**

**Sky: Unfortunately yes**

**Winry: -glares-**

**Sky: -sticks tongue out-**

**Ed: -shudders- -walks up to Winry and kisses her-**

**Envy: Finally someone agrees with me! I'm not a cross-dressing palmtree!**

**Sky: That's what you think**

**Envy: Huh?**

**Sky: -glomps him-**

**Envy: -screams-**

**Roy: All right, could someone **_**please**_** tell me **_**why**_** the hell I have to put on a (censored) wedding dress? I've cross-dressed so many (censored) times I can't really be sure I feel like a guy anymore!**

**Sky: So then you're a girl?**

**Roy: Yes. No. Maybe?**

**Sky: -rolls eyes and snaps fingers- **

**Roy: -is now dressed in a wedding outfit- WHAT THE HELL?!**

**Sky: Now sing!**

**Roy: -glares-**

"**The hills are alive with the sound of music  
With songs they have sung for a thousand years  
The hills fill my heart with the sound of music  
My heart wants to sing every song it hears**

My heart wants to beat like the wings of the birds  
that rise from the lake to the trees  
My heart wants to sigh like a chime that flies  
from a church on a breeze  
To laugh like a brook when it trips and falls over  
stones on its way  
To sing through the night like a lark who is learning to pray

I go to the hills when my heart is lonely  
I know I will hear what I've heard before  
My heart will be blessed with the sound of music  
And I'll sing once more"

**Sky: …That was horribly off tune! **

**Roy: Gee, thanks. Ruin my musical dream why don't you?**

**Sky: -grins- Well as far as I'm concerned you don't have a chance**

**Roy: -glares-**

**Riza: -shoots at him-**

**Roy: -whines- What'd I do now?! –runs away but trips over dress-**

**Sky: -laughs-**

**Roy: Shut up!! Don't laugh at my misery!! –curls into a ball-**

**Lust: -dies-**

**Wrath: Say nothing for a week? How can I do that?**

**Sky: Ooh I know! –pulls him into her lap and sticks a piece of duck tape over his mouth- There!**

**Wrath: -jumps off her lap and gets a permanent marker- -starts to write on floor-**

**Sky: -stands behind him and looks over his shoulder- -reads- "I…want…candy…" –sighs and turns to face Winry- Okay, whore, you can stop now**

**Winry: -pulls away from Ed and lets him fall to the floor, gasping for air- I'm not a whore**

**Sky: Yes you are. You just don't realize. Now… -gives her a list on all the ways to kill herself- Do this**

**Winry: Why should I? **

**Sky: -places hands on hips- Because I said so. And you're going to do it. Unless you want me to force spoiled milk down your throat, I highly suggest that you do it **_**now**_

**Winry: -glares and looks down at list- -eyes widen- What?**

**Sky: Can't read it? Are you really that dumb?**

**Winry: I can read it perfectly fine!**

**Sky: Then do it already, damn bitchy slut-whore who needs to die!**

**Winry: -sniffles-**

**Sky: Do you even realize how pathetic you are?**

**Winry: -starts crying-**

**Sky: -rolls eyes-**

**Winry: -catches on fire- -stabs herself in the heart- -poisons herself- -drowns herself- -jumps off a cliff-**

**All: -grab her and rips her apart-**

**Sky: -laughs evilly-**

**Hughes: -is dancing around taking pictures-**

Dares!Yay! grins evilly  
Ed - You are amazing. And incredibly un-short. That's all.  
Winry - Just letting you know that I do not hate you. I think that you are really cool. And Ed should hurry up and realize that he loves you.  
Al - You. Are. So. ADORABLE! musses hair  
Everyone who has ever called Ed short - I dare each of you to, in turn, bow before Ed and apologise profusely for your obscene tallness. Especially But I'm Useless and The Crossdressing Palmtree.

Clara Luna Johansen

**Ed: Thank you. Finally someone who hasn't called me short**

**Sky: -coughs-**

**Ed: -glares- Except you**

**Sky: Because you **_**are**_** a shrimp**

**Ed: -fumes-**

**Winry: So someone doesn't hate me? –grins- Cool**

**Ed: I don't love her!**

**Sky: Why would he anyway?! She's not even pretty! And she's **_**pathetic**_**!**

**Ed: I agree!**

**Sky: Thanks, bean sprout**

**Ed: I'M NOT A SPROUT!!**

**Winry: -cries again-**

**Sky: -sighs-**

**Al: Thank you!**

**All (Al, Winry, Roy, Envy, Greed, Rose, et cetera): -bows to Ed and apologizes to him for being for tall- **

**Ed: -grins- I could get used to this**

**Sky: Don't puny boy**

**Ed: STOP CALLING ME PUNY!!**

**Sky: It's the truth**

**Roy: What a way to ruin the moment**

**Sky: -throws a wrench at him-**

**Ed: You're supposed to bow before me too!**

**Sky: You think you can control me?! No one controls me! –throws three wrenches at him and knocks him unconscious-**

I changed my username while I... WAS IN CHINA! Yes, Eddie-kun! It is ShadowUchiha13! And while in China, my friend made me... A ROYED FAN GIRL! YAY FOR YAOI!

So, my dares are this! -Insert evil music here-

Ed: Dress like Pride!Ed from Bluebirds Illusions! Then make out with Roy for the ENTIRE chapter!

Winry: Teach me all you know about automail so I can be the one to fix Ed's automail. Then insult all the homunculi to the point where they'll all kill you!

Envy: Dammit! I can't decide whether I hate you or like you! So... Hm... Kill Winry!

Al: My friend Phantom4muah loves the AlNina pairing so make out with Nina!

Izumi: MY MONTH LONG TRIAL!? TRY 4 YEARS OF TORTURE IN THE WORST ELEMENTRY SCHOOL EVER! NOW TEACH! ME! ALCHEMY!

I WILL return! Muhahahahaha!

VexVulpes

**Ed: -pales- Oh no**

**Sky: She's back**

**Ed: Why do I have to dress like Pride?**

**Sky: -tackles him and forces him into the dressing room- Get dressed! Now!**

**Ed: -groans-**

**Sky: -raises the soiled milk threateningly-**

**Ed: -sobs at her feet- NOOOOOOO NOT THE MILK!! PLEASE NO!! SPARE ME PLEASE!! THE HORROR WILL BE IMPRINTED ON MY MIND FOREVER!!**

**Sky: -rolls eyes- **

**Ed: -dresses up as Pride-**

**Sky: -squeals and glomps him- You look so damn cool!!**

**Ed: -grunts- Can't…breathe…**

**Sky: Heheh… -kisses him on the cheek and pushes him towards Roy-**

**Ed: -falls onto Roy's chest-**

**Roy: -catches him- Edo? Why are you dressed like that?**

**Ed: -drags him down by his shirt and kisses him-**

**Sky: -squeals and takes many pictures-**

**Winry: … -begins teaching her about automail-**

**-2 HOURS LATER-**

**Winry: -goes to the homunculi- COME AND GET ME YOU WHORES!!**

**All homunculi: -blink and then chase after her yelling death threats-**

**Winry: -is blown up, stabbed, chewed on, drowned-**

**Sky: Wh00t**

**Envy: Then decide that you love me! And yes, I will kill her!!**

**Winry: -barely has time to scream before Envy stabs her brutally-**

**-THE REST IS CENSORED AS DECREED BY THE OFFICE OF SAFETY AND SANITY-**

**Sky: Heheh…**

**Al: Make-out with Nina?**

**Sky: Yep. –brings out Nina and pushes her towards him-**

**Nina: Bwig bwother!**

**Al: Hello Nina-**_**chan**_**. –leans down to kiss her-**

**Izumi: Did you ever tell me what the meaning of 'all is one, one is all'? …The flow within a circle only goes one way…**

Heh,i like this fan fic.anyways,i have a few dares and truths.

Winry:ok,first of all,i hate you.but your always dying and being tortured,so im gonna do something nice.tie ed onto a chair,then lock yourselves in a closet.you can do whatever you want to him for 8 hours.

Ed:go into the closet.do not resist in anyway.after shes done kill her in the sickest and cruelest way possible.does this remind you of something?'cough equivalent exchange cough'

Al:put al of your cats and kitties into the rain.if you resist,well,ill leave silver candle too that.

Envy:go on a killing spree.kill whoever you want besides ed,roy,al,fuery,silver candle,and wrath.

Envy:admit it.you look like a palm tree.

Breda:why are you so afraid of dogs?

Pikminbro.

**Winry: Gee, thanks. –grabs Ed and ties him onto a chair- -locks themselves in a closet-**

**Ed: -starts screaming- LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUUUUUUUUUUUT!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! SHE'S RAPING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!**

**Sky: -giggles-**

**-AFTER 8 LONG HOURS-**

**Ed: -creeps out of closet, eyes wide and face blank-**

**Sky: Edo?**

**Ed: -blinks- I'm fine**

**Sky: -whispers in his ear- Now you can kill her however the hell you want**

**Ed: -grins sadistically and slowly rips her apart- -claps hands and sacrifices her in the most painful way possible- MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!**

**Al: Aw…the poor kitties… -puts all the cats in a box and leaves them outside- I'm sorry…**

**Sky: -hugs him-**

**Envy: KILLING SPREE!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!! –slaughters all the characters- AND I DO NOT LOOK LIKE A (censored) PALM TREE!! I AM MAN!!**

**Sky: Says you**

**Envy: -glares- (censored) you**

**Sky: -throws a wrench at him-**

**Breda: I'm scared of dogs because they attacked me when I was five!! **

**Sky: What did you do?**

**Breda: I don't know…I had some salami…**

**Sky: -rolls eyes and slaps forehead-**

A/N: I apologize for those reviewers who didn't make it into this chapter. I had to narrow it down so I could update it as soon as possible for you guys. So it has been two months… and it won't be that late again. Thanks for supporting this story.

Sky


	14. Chapter 13: FINAL CHAPTER?

_A/N: An update! Finally! Yay. -coughs- Um, yeah, hello again, though. I am very sorry I took this long to update. School took over. Anyway, don't listen to me anymore. I've missed my readers and the crazy dares, and of course the cast does too!_

_Ed: Who says?! At least 60 people have called me short in this whole damn thing!!_

_You've been counting? Really? You're such a dork._

_Ed: I AM NOT!!_

_Oh shut up, shrimp. I hope you enjoy this silly excuse of a chapter._

_Ed: -screams indignantly about not being a shrimp-_

_Note: If people are wondering if the characters are OOC, just think of what they've been through with this whole thing. Also, consider the host. Do you really think they wouldn't have been driven crazy by now? The author is just gone. LONG gone. Her mind has taken a vacation and shows no signs of coming back._

--

Ed, make your brother go to therapy about 'loving' animals too much.

Heaven's Blade Hell's Gauntlet

**Ed: Make...**_**Al**_**...go...to...**_**therapy**_**? Really?**

**Sky: Yeah, is it so hard?**

**Ed: -glances at her- I think I know someone else who should be going...**

**Sky: Yeah... -blinks and then throws a wrench at his head- WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING CRAZY?!?!**

**Ed: -winces and rubs head- Ow...**

**Roy: Has she gotten more violent in the past few months while we were on break?**

**Hughes: Yep. School's been driving her crazy**

**Sky: Damn right.**

**Roy: Oh, please, Sky-san. I have a mountain of paperwork everyday, what's the difference?**

**Sky: Don't make me throw a wrench at you**

**Roy: -sticks out tongue-**

**Sky: -glares and throws three wrenches at his head and his groin-**

**Roy: -squeaks oddly and falls to the ground, twitching-**

**Sky: -smiles evilly-**

**Hughes: -shakes head- Some ladies' man you are**

**Roy: Hughes...shut...up...**

**Sky: -sighs- Let's get on with the dare...**

**Ed: Sure, but I really don't think **_**Al**_** should be the one who goes...**

**Sky: -raises a wrench threateningly-**

**Ed: -squeals and backs away, hands over his face- Don't hurt me!**

**Sky: -smirks-**

**Roy: -has recovered- I didn't know you were so scared of little girls, Full Metal**

**Ed: I'm not scared, dammit!**

**Roy: Sure you aren't. She's shorter than you!**

**Hughes: -backs away from Sky- Uh, Roy**_**...**_**? I **_**really**_** don't think you should have said that**

**Sky: WHO THE (BEEP) HELL ARE YOU CALLING (BEEP) SMALL YOU SAD (BEEP) EXCUSE FOR A (BEEP) COLONEL?!?!?!?!?!?!**

**Roy: -cowers behind Hughes- I didn't mean it!**

**Sky: -glares murderously-**

**Roy: -laughs nervously-**

**Hughes: -shakes head-**

**Ed: You know, are we ever going to do that dare?**

**Sky: -turns to face him, completely normal- I think you mean, whether **_**you**_** should do it**

**Ed: Uh? Oh, right....heheh....um...**

**Sky: -sighs- Get on with it already...I'm bored...**

**Ed: You're always bored. You have the shortest attention span I've ever seen**

**Sky: -glares-**

**Ed: -backs away, hands held up in a gesture of peace- That's not what I meant!! **

**Sky: It better not be**

**Ed: -laughs nervously- Um...Al! Come on out!**

**Al: -appears, looking around in confusion- How did I get here? I was just feeding--uh...**

**Ed: -smiles sweetly- Just **_**what**_** were you feeding, Al? Hm?**

**Al: Uh, nothing, brother**

**Ed: Right. -grabs Al's arm and drags him towards the door-**

**Al: Where are we going, brother?**

**Ed: A **_**very**_** special place, Al...**

**Sky: A place with kittens galore--**

**Al: -looks excited- Kittens?**

**Sky: --and padded walls.**

**Al: ???**

**Sky: -puts him in a straight-jacket- There.**

**Ed: -picks up Al and runs outside, laughing crazily-**

**Al: Where am I going? Brother! Put me down!! What about the kittens?!**

**Ed: Forget about the damn cats already!! -is tackled by a cat- -screams- YOU DAMN SON OF A (BEEP) BITCH CAT!!!!!**

**Al: -is sitting calmly on a couch in the therapist's office- I wonder where the doctor is...**

**Sky: -turns around the chair behind the desk, puts feet on desk and flips through a book- All right, what are you here for?**

**Al: Sky-san?**

**Sky: Yep. I'm your therapist.**

**Al: Oh geez... -mutters- You are the **_**last**_** person I would go to...**

**Sky: What was that?**

**Al: Uh, nothing!**

**Sky: I'm not crazy if that's what you're thinking...**

**Al: Um...**

**Sky: Okay! -slams book on desk- What are you in therapy for?**

**Al: Um...I have no idea, actually**

**Sky: -tilts her head to the side in confusion- Really? Hm...**

**Al: Why am I in a straight-jacket?**

**Sky: 'Cause your in therapy**

**Al: -mutters- For no reason...**

**Sky: You're right!!! Let's go get your brother!! -jumps onto the desk and to the floor, running out laughing crazily-**

**Al: Uh-oh. -blinks and tries to get out of the straightjacket- -calls after Sky- Uh, Sky-san? I think you forgot something! Let me out! -hears screams and explosions- Actually, I think I'll just stay right here...**

Okay those dares were awesome and random! And now I am just plain bored.

Useless and Lazy, Ed, Envy, Hughes, Winry: Heard of Caramelldansen? Do the dance! Yes, I love toturing Envy.

Wrath: -gives him sugar- Glomp Spree! Ed, you must join! No glomping Al!

Sky: Keep up the good work! FMA forever!!

Jrockonhigh

**Sky: -starts laughing uncontrollably-**

**Ed: -to Roy- What's wrong with her?**

**Roy: We're wondering the same thing, Ed**

**Hughes: -shrugs-**

**Sky: I just saw the video on the way you're supposed to dance to...and... -giggles non-stop-**

**Ed: -blinks-**

**Roy: What are you talking about?**

**Hughes: What video?**

**Sky: -shows them-**

**Ed: We're supposed to **_**dance**_**?**

**Roy: Like **_**that**_**?**

**Sky: Yep! -smiles innocently-**

**Ed: NO WAY IN HELL!!!**

**Roy: Are you serious?!**

**Hughes: What's so bad about it? It looks fun!**

**Roy: -to Hughes- You're crazy! -turns to Sky- And you! Don't even get me started!**

**Sky: -blinks- What the hell are you talking about?**

**Roy: There **_**is**_** no word to describe you! At all! None!**

**Sky: -to Hughes- Has he gone off the deep end or something?**

**Roy: I'M NOT CRAZY!!**

**Sky: I wouldn't be too sure about that**

**Roy: AGH!!! -pulls out hair-**

**Sky: -giggles- You'll lose your fangirls if you do that**

**Ed: -looks at Roy and then Sky- Do we only have to do it once?**

**Sky: -nods- Let me get the others, and then you can do it. 'Kay? Okey-dokey!! Let's go! -skips off-**

**Ed: I think she's high on something.... -is suddenly hit with five wrenches-**

**Sky: I heard that!!!**

**Ed: Ow... is she **_**trying**_** to kill us?**

**Hughes: Didn't you read the contract when we signed up for this? It said we were subject to bodily harm if we pissed off the host...and she meant it quite literally...**

**Ed: What contract? I never signed no damn contract!!**

**Roy: Don't talk like a hillbilly**

**Ed: -glares- Oh shut up, colonel "always changing his name"**

**Roy: -glares back- It's not my fault!**

**Ed: Yeah, it is. Everyone hates you.**

**Sky: -appears, dragging Envy and Winry behind her- Okay! Do the dance now!**

**Envy: This is stupid**

**Sky: Aw, don't be like that Envy-kun**

**Envy: -glares- I. Am. Not. Doing. It.**

**Sky: Please?**

**Envy: Didn't you hear me? I said no!**

**Sky: -pouts-**

**Envy: -growls- Fine. Only if I have to do this damn thing once**

**Sky: -squeals- Yay!**

**Winry: Are we going to start?**

**Sky: Oh yeah, I almost forgot! You're being smart for once! Good girl! -pats Winry on the head-**

**Winry: -looks at her like she's crazy-**

**Sky: Don't look at me like that. -runs to stereo and starts the music-**

**Ed: -goes towards Roy before Winry grabs him- Dance with me so I don't have to dance with **_**her**_**. -points to Winry-**

**Roy: -looks at Winry and back at Ed- -nods and picks up Ed-**

**Ed: What the hell are you doing?**

**Roy: -places him on his feet and starts dancing-**

**Hughes: -dances with Gracia-**

**Winry: -starts dancing and trips over her feet-**

**Sky: -laughs evilly- -goes to find Wrath and takes him back to the others- Here, Wrath-chan. Have some candy. –to the side- I can't believe I would actually do this…**

**Wrath: Yay! -jumps up and down and grabs candy- -glomps Ed-**

**Ed: -falls over-**

**Wrath: -laughs and claps hands together-**

**Ed: I'll get you kid! -lunges toward Wrath-**

**Wrath: -squeaks and runs away-**

**Ed: Get back here!**

**Sky: -sighs as they run around her- Can you two stop behaving like idiots now? You're making a scene...**

**Wrath: -stops, but is glomped by Ed-**

**Ed: Come and get me!**

**Wrath: -runs after Ed-**

**Ed: -laughs crazily as he glomps people-**

**Sky: O-kay then...that's not exactly a glomp spree, but whatever.**

This just keeps getting better and better.

Lets see,

Hughes: Show Winry every photo you have ever taken for the rest of this fic.  
Envy: Turn into Winry and let everyone do whatever to you.  
Everyone except Winry go to a ski lodge and have fun

The Gator

**Sky: Ah. He already does that**

**Hughes: Ooh! Cool! I get to do it again!**

**Sky: -grabs Winry and ties her to a chair-**

**Hughes: I have new pictures for you! Here's one of Elicia-chan, when she... -goes on and on and on-**

**Winry: -glares at Sky-**

**Sky: -smirks-**

**Envy: -transforms into Winry- This has to be the second time I've turned into the bitch. –shivers and rubs skin- Where is the justice?**

**Sky: You don't get any unfortunately, Envy-kun**

**Ed: WINRY!! -leaps at Envy and tries to disembowel him-**

**Envy: Hey! Watch it, pipsqueak!!**

**Ed: I'M NOT A (beep) PIPSQUEAK!!**

**Sky: -sighs-**

**Izumi: GET HER!! -charges towards Envy/Winry with Mason, Sig, Wrath, Lust, Gluttony, Roy, Havoc, Riza, and Greed behind her-**

**Ed: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! -waves a torch and his automail blade, laughing maniacally-**

**Envy: -screams like a girl trying to get away-**

**Sky: -shakes head- Everyone's crazy now**

**Winry: -sarcastic- I wonder why...?**

**Sky: -glares and hits her with a wrench- -claps hands- All right everyone!! Except Whiny here! Let's go to a ski resort and have fun!! Except Whiny!!**

**All: Wh00t!!**

Silver Candle  
I laughed at the part where Scar turned into a chibi. He's so cute as one.

Havoc  
(laughs at VelvetSin being handcuffed to Havoc)  
I dare you to chase Roy with a chainsaw.

Mustang  
I dare you to legally change your name to Roy Dingbat!  
i dare you to dress like a drag queen and confuse the heck out of Falman.

A Crazed Sue

**Sky: I know, isn't he? -smirks-**

**Havoc: MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! -chases Roy with a chainsaw- FEAR MY AWESOME CHAINSAW OF DEATH!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!**

**Roy: AGH!!! GET AWAY FROM MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! MOMMY!!!**

**Sky: He is **_**such**_** a baby, it puts infants to shame**

**Ed: Ain't that the truth?**

**Roy: -is dragged back by Sky-**

**Sky: All right, now you have to change your name**

**Roy: **_**Again**_**?**

**Sky: Is that a problem?**

**Roy: Why do I always have to change my name?**

**Sky: Because you're supposed to**

**Roy: **_**Why?**_

**Sky: Stop being such a baby**

**Roy: No**

**Sky: No, you don't want to stop being a baby, or no, you don't want to change your name?**

**Roy: I'm not a baby! And no, I don't want to change my name for the thousandth time!!**

**Sky: You haven't complained this much before...is the stress getting to you or something?**

**Roy: -in a high-pitched voice- Stress? No, I'm not stressed. Why would you even think that? -pulls at hair-**

**Sky: -shakes head- Here, I changed your name already. I forged your signature**

**Roy: -collapses-**

**Sky: -sighs- -picks him up and drags him behind her- Come on, we have to get you dressed**

**Roy: For **_**what**_**? ...No, on second thought, I don't want to know**

**Sky: -forces him into drag queen outfit- Hell, Mustang. You make a pretty good drag queen.**

**Roy: -scowls- Shut the hell up**

**Sky: No. –sticks tongue out- Now go talk to Falman**

**Roy: **_**Why?**_

**Sky: Because… -whispers in his ear-**

**Roy: -blinks-**

**Sky: -pushes him towards Falman- Go get him!**

**Roy: Grr… -goes to Falman- Hey, Falman.**

**Falman: -blinks- Sir...is that you?**

**Roy: Don't. Ask. Don't. Ever. Repeat. What. You. Saw. To. Anyone.**

**Falman: ...**

**Sky: -takes pictures-**

**Roy: GAH!! STOP IT!! -chases after her-**

**Sky: HA HA, CAN'T CATCH ME!! WAHAHAHAHA!!**

**Falman: ...What have I gotten myself into?**

A/N: That's all for now. I apologize again for taking so long, but I will try to update as soon as possible. HOWEVER, it is possible that this might be the last chapter. If it is, I had a ton of fun writing this. Love all my reviewers!

Ciao! ~Sky


End file.
